AIBU to expect relatives to learn to spell and use DDs name?

[Bella5C]

my Dd is almost 2. I am a single parent with grown up children as well. Dd doesn’t know her biological father. He’s not in the picture. However, his family are. They see her weekly/fortnightly or less if they’re on holiday or have medical issues.
Dd has an Irish spelt name. It’s probably one of the harder ones to spell/pronounce. I love it, I learned immediately how to spell it. I have no concerns that she will struggle. As far as I’m concerned once you know how to spell it, you know? People still spell my name and my grown up kids names wrong so I look at it like, with it being quite a unique name, you are going to learn it so you’re not getting it completely wrong.
my Issue is that her relatives (not mine) refuse to learn how to spell it and just refer to her as ‘the wee one’. I easily picked up on this in their texts and didn’t think too much of it. Accepted it really, but then, her Grandmother said to me ‘oh he (her partner) saw a woman holding a child at the end of the road and stopped and said he thought it was Bella5C and the wee one’
she obviously heard herself as she then said to me when leaving, I call her the wee one because I don’t know how to spell her name? AIBU to assume she doesn’t like her name and is refusing to use it? I can understand not spelling it in a text if you think you’ll spell it wrong but to not say her name out loud and use that excuse is surely, a load of crap? Just looking for opinions really, although I may eventually say something?

Maybe the proximity of those countries to one another has resulted in a familiarity

If you learnt Irish you would quickly realise it is phonetic.

It is in Donegal! Usually though it’s more of a Q sound at the start.

Given that even the Irish posters on this thread can't agree on a standard pronunciation of the name, I think English family members can be forgiven for not being able to pronounce it.

Oh my God, get a life!

Munster centric here I’m afraid 😁

Given that even the Irish posters on this thread can't agree on a standard pronunciation of the name, I think English family members can be forgiven for not being able to pronounce it.
There isn’t a standard pronunciation of Irish you see @saraclara. Each dialect’s pronunciation is considered equally correct (which is a better system than English has in the UK imho).
OP has chosen one of the two available pronunciations so her family should go with that.

Which is sometimes Keeva. You're incorrect about it just being one pronunciation so stop trying to make someone feel bad for pronouncing their daughters name "wrong" 🙄

That is like saying all the english speakers in the world can't agree on a pronunciation. Even just limiting it to england, there are some dialects that add in r where it doesn't exist and some dialects that leave out r where it exists. Which of those pronunciations are correct?

There are multiple dialects in Irish. Some words/sounds are pronounced differently in the different dialects.

I have a delightful one but thank you for your concern Jay.

I'm from Dublin and would say Quee vah.

You don't need to 'challenge her'. Just gently help her learn how to spell and say it.

When she says she's uncertain, say 'oh, it's pronounced this way -(say the name) - now you have a go?' and 'yes it's an unusual spelling isn't it? shall I message you the spelling so you can save it on your phone notes?'

Just support her with learning it. She's obviously struggling and it's an unusual name, spelling and pronunciation that you've chosen.

I don't think she's ignorant, I wouldn't have known how this name is pronounced either, the pronunciation is nothing like how it's spelled. She probably is feeling a bit defensive about it if she can't say/ spell the name, that's understandable. Just help her and don't make her feel stupid/ ignorant or judge her about it.

You don’t think refusing to say a name 2 years after it’s been known to you is ignorant? Sorry no, unless she has such extreme learning difficulties that she struggles to do basic tasks day to day any adult can learn one name both in pronunciation and a 7 letter spelling in 2 years.

Not if OP is also getting the hump about it and not actually supporting her to learn it.

She obviously feels awkward about it, given the sheepish explanation of why she calls her 'the wee one', she's aware that she's struggling. When she says things like that, that is the perfect opportunity to help her, but it doesn't sound like OP is doing that.

OP's language about 'challenging her' shows how OP is feeling about it and I imagine that comes across as somewhat unfriendly and not very approachable.

Some people struggle with words/ language and it's a very unusual name. Just support her with it, surely.

It’s been 2 years. She hasn’t just heard it, it’s not at all unusual in her life anymore.

My aunt's were still calling me that when I was 15! 😊

Well we don't know either of the people involved do we? She might well have dyslexia or a learning difficulty and feel embarrassed so has just used 'the wee one' to cover that up.
Either way, doesn't sound like OP has been very helpful in actually saying 'it's ok - I understand it's an unusual name - shall I help you learn it?'
People can feel very awkward about these things and then it just becomes entrenched.

My father in law still spells my daughter’s name incorrectly. And she is 31. Good luck

My late Mum called my youngest niece "Little 'un" for years. Her name is easy and has 4 letters.

They should learn how to spell it and pronounce it. But if you give your child a very unusual hard to say/spell name problems will arise.

Making a lot of assumptions and taking my words out of context. If she had additional support needs that would make me ignorant but she doesn’t.

YABU and as an Irish person this is cultural appropriation.
Presumably you've already got her speaking Gaeilge and playing Camogie.

Seriously?

As an Irish pet, I have no issue with this so long as it's spelt and pronounced correctly. Op is using one of the accepted pronunciations in Ireland.

Loads of Irish people have French (Charlotte), Jewish (Jacob), English (Emma) etc names. Is that cultural appropriation too?

@OchonAgusOchonOh I had to laugh at your typo! 😊

My MIL never ever spelt DS2’s name correctly even though it’s a fairly common name with no unusual spelling. I just assumed she didn’t like the spelling or genuinely had no idea that she got it wrong in every single birthday and Christmas card to him

In fairness, my granny always called me pet😁

I also realised I didn't manage to quote @RachelGreep87 in my reply too.

I presume you are being sarcastic?