AIBU to expect relatives to learn to spell and use DDs name?

[Bella5C]

my Dd is almost 2. I am a single parent with grown up children as well. Dd doesn’t know her biological father. He’s not in the picture. However, his family are. They see her weekly/fortnightly or less if they’re on holiday or have medical issues.
Dd has an Irish spelt name. It’s probably one of the harder ones to spell/pronounce. I love it, I learned immediately how to spell it. I have no concerns that she will struggle. As far as I’m concerned once you know how to spell it, you know? People still spell my name and my grown up kids names wrong so I look at it like, with it being quite a unique name, you are going to learn it so you’re not getting it completely wrong.
my Issue is that her relatives (not mine) refuse to learn how to spell it and just refer to her as ‘the wee one’. I easily picked up on this in their texts and didn’t think too much of it. Accepted it really, but then, her Grandmother said to me ‘oh he (her partner) saw a woman holding a child at the end of the road and stopped and said he thought it was Bella5C and the wee one’
she obviously heard herself as she then said to me when leaving, I call her the wee one because I don’t know how to spell her name? AIBU to assume she doesn’t like her name and is refusing to use it? I can understand not spelling it in a text if you think you’ll spell it wrong but to not say her name out loud and use that excuse is surely, a load of crap? Just looking for opinions really, although I may eventually say something?

Thing is-I don’t pronounce Caoimhe as Keeva!

Honestly? If they are loving and supportive I’d let it go. It’s a pain, but there are more important things in life.

I much prefer the quee vah pronunciation. I guess whichever one you are used to sounds best.

That's really a matter of opinion. I don't particularly like the Keeva pronunciation. I thinks it sounds too harsh.

We were going to name our 4th daughter saoirse but decided against it because of people probably being unable to pronounce it for her entire life so ended up giving her a name with a more obvious pronunciation, just had vision's of her being at school and people always getting her name wrong 😅

Yes, Quee vah is softer sounding

Just tell her gran to call her Keeva & that you won’t be offended if they spell it wrong, but for reference it’s spelled x

She’s probably got so anxious at getting it wrong that it’s given her a mental block.

And I bet your DD decides to go with a phonetic spelling of her name by the time she goes to secondary. Unless you move to Ireland in the meantime.

Thank you. We're in Yorkshire and it's variable!

Yeah but that makes no sense. It sounds like an excuse she made up on the fly because you challenged her.

I also think referring to your toddler as "the wee one" is a cute diminutive but referring to your grandparent as the "the old one" to make a (ridiculous) point is rude in the extreme.

I agree, if i read Caoimhe out loud, you wouldn´t recognise it, but if you tell me your daughter is [Keeva], I would learn it and repeat it back, spelling it would come later, but it would come. Some people are just plain lazy.

Please don't do this. No names on clothing, headbands, bags, car stickers or anything that can be seen easily. It gives everyone and anyone your child's name which can then be misused.
Please trust that I'm not making this up, I used to work with people who used this approach and information for wrong doing.

Not too difficult then.
She can say queen? Then queeva. Simple if you want to.

OP is using the Ulster pronunciation of Caoimhe though.

Even in Munster the first syllable of Caoimhe doesn’t sound (exactly) like the start of queen. It’s close but not the same (or it shouldn’t be at least). Irish sounds are not the same as English ones, though the English sounds are often used instead.

@DoYouReally
I've been in Ireland over 20 years - and I interact mostly with Irish people rather than foreigners - and 2 years ago was the first time I met this name. (A lady in my new job.)
Maybe it's not as common in Kilkenny/Tipperary/Carlow which is where most of the Irish people I know are from?

Edit: to add, I do find such names hard despite being here a while, as my own language is phonetic (as well as the foreign languages I know).

Irish is also a phonetic language. Much more so than English, in fact.

I think it started to become popular in the 90s, peaking in the 00's so probably most common in younger people and those in their 20's.

I mean.... You gave her a complicated name... its going to follow her through school and life - and it probably would have been better to have gone with a non complicated name? one thats both pronouncible and spellable- which this sounds like it isnt. I say this as someone whose parent did give them a very pretty but complicated name - its a PITA, and i now go soley by a nick-name in professional circles, including my company email. i think my mum and gran are the only ones who use my full name!

I think the q pronation is Southern Irish? Happy to be proved wrong….

Also western Irish.

Northern and eastern seem to be keeva.

Irish is also a phonetic language. Much more so than English, in fact.
I disagreed with this when I first read it but, having googled it, I understand what you mean.

I'm assuming you don't speak Irish? If so, i don't understand why you would have had an opinion either way.

My goodness, that’s a difficult name to spell from sound. Remembering my Gran, if I’d have chosen that name for a child, even spelling it out, she’d have had no chance at all of remembering that. She would have had to keep a piece of paper in her drawer to refer to. I’m stunned that spelling creates the sound of Keeva (or Kweeva as some are saying). Many professional people she comes across in life won’t have a clue how to say it. They’ll just have to say Miss X.

You're stunned that a different language pronounces things differently to English?

@OchonAgusOchonOh
Ah no, I'm from continental Europe- it's my language (and the other foreign languages I know) that I mean are phonetic. And obviously English I found reasonable pronunciation wise.

Some people just don’t get out a lot.

Still, it’s not as though Irish people and their troublesome names, are exactly a rarity in the UK. I spent almost 30 years in England myself, with a name thst would ‘stun’ @LoveTKO far more than Caoimhe,, and ann Irish surname, and people managed. Even the ‘professionals’ and octogenarians.

My own grandmother had never heard of lesbians, and wouldn’t have been able to get her head round the concept if she had, but I can’t feel that’s any particular guide to anything, far less something actual lesbians might need to worry about.

And yet I speak French, German, Spanish, Italian and Arabic, without being stunned by any of their pronunciations.