Are older people obsessed with commenting on other peoples weight?

[ByZanyRubyOrca]

I’m a nurse and have previously worked in older peoples care, so usually around 60+ and find they (mainly women) are obsessed with commenting on other people’s appearances such as how they look, if they are attractive/not attractive but mainly weight comments.
Examples of real life comments “Isn’t Kirsty putting on the weight? Laura has lost too much weight and looks gaunt. Charlotte needs to wear more make up if she wants to find herself a man. John is getting too big, how can he even walk?

I also noticed when I was around 14, my nana would also make comments on everyone’s weight, even her grandchildren (girls and boys) so she would have been around mid 50s then so not old at all. Comments would be made to add context I suppose, but then she would just make comments without it being relevant to what she was talking about.

When I was 20, I visited my then boyfriend’s nana for the first time and she made comments to him about my weight, right infront of me, as if I wasn’t there. Saying how I was fatter than his sisters 😂 I wasn’t fatter than his sisters at all, in fact I was several stone lighter ( was a size 8 at the time) but even if I was heavier why even mention that or bring it up? She then offered me several of her size 20 jumpers, as she thought they might fit me as they were too big for her, despite her being a size 20. Nothing wrong with being a size 20 at all it’s more that she’s saying they were too big for her and I would fit in them, despite me being a size 8 and there’s clearly a obvious difference in size.

Has anyone else experienced this? I work with people in their 20s and people older than me and have noticed they don’t really talk about weight or make comments on appearance.

My FIL (now deceased) commented a lot on weight but I think it was because he struggled with appetite so genuinely liked to see that people enjoyed food. I also think that was because he was old enough to remember the effects of post-war rationing and therefore was pleased to see people eat what they wanted. He often commented on my weight but in a positive way, when I put weight on

It might be something to do with that, lots of older people will feel the effects of rationing even if they weren't born that bear to WW2? 😊

*close to WW2

Yes it’s absolute rule that everyone over the age of 60 comments on other people’s weight.

because of course all people over the age of 60 are the same and have the same characteristics, beliefs and personality traits.

🤦‍♀️

or your thread might be ageist shite

You’ve just brought up a memory of a time when DGM gave us a pound note in an envelope with a little note instead of an Easter egg one year. I was a perfectly normal sized child, my siblings were like stick insects though so I must have looked large next to them. I was about 8. My note said ‘here’s some money as too much chocolate makes you fat’. I found my siblings notes days later and theirs said ‘here’s some money to help your savings grow’!

DH had an old aunt that used to constantly comment on our nephew, his siblings DS, weight. She would outwardly say ‘God you’re so fat…..how have you got so big?’ Etc etc. the woman was like a barrel herself but felt it fair to comment on an 11 year old with a bit of a tummy. Shocking.

I can only assume it’s how they were brought up. Their worth was based on their figure. Sad really.

Ageist and sexist

Older generations are obsessed with weight, slimmer is better in their minds, that's always been the way and there are 100s of threads on here that prove it.

My mum was the same, born in 1955, my aunts all the same.

Commented relentlessly on my weight, made my life a misery if I'm honest. I'm 45 now and have a very bad relationship with weight, body image etc. I think I've been on a diet since 1990.

I'm definitely trying to break the cycle with my 2 kids!

Apparently the minute you turn 60 oy are taken with every single other person aged 60 to re education camps and hereafter you all behave exactly the same
people under 60 never ever say anything rude or inappropriate

Yeah I know what you mean. My nana was born a year after the war but was brought up on rations. It could indeed be that. She however sees putting on weight as a negative. Tbf if she thinks you’re too skinny or too fat she’ll have a problem with it 😂 but I find her comments just mean and unnecessary and she has upset people in the past, I’ve asked her for years to not make these comments but she still does.

Strange thread and some strange comments

In a pub today and the father of the family, guessimate late 20s early 30s was talking about excess calories and how much steps they had all done that day and what more they were going to do later. The partner/wife's father didnt comment about that, the wife was chatting along too.

What shall I take from this one encounter?

My elderly aunt is awful for this. She even said her 3 years old granddaughter was overweight ( she just had that toddler chubbiness) and told me on the phone that my cousin ( her daughter) had become ' huge'. I saw my cousin a few days later and she was like around a size 14 ! I am a size 20 and dread seeing her wondering what she is saying about me once I have gone !

All you and other posters had to do to make this thread (more) acceptable is write “some” older people. As it is, it’s ageist and ignorant. People who are 60 now were born 20 years after the end of WW2 and certainly don’t remember rationing, which ended in the early 1950s I think.

What a ignorant post, I am over 60 and could not care less about other people's weight.
Ageist shite, I would be embarrased to post this.

Whenever I lose weight my mum always says "Don't lose too much!". I have no idea why. We aren't in postwar ration land any more!
Her and my dad have been overweight for at least the last 30+ years. Not massively, but they're both large around the middle.
I was a bean pole until my 30s, she never commented until I'd gained weight and began to lose it again. It's so weird.
I lost 2 stone recently, so I'm sure I'll be hearing it again soon...

I'm 68 and haven't found this to be the norm. I've known people of all ages past and present comment on weight/appearances and many who don't. I actually think the world has become waaay more obsessed with image, especially since the advent of social media. In fact it's gone into overdrive. In the 70's we were largely left to our own devices as far as "image" went and most people would've been horrified at the thought of pumping fillers into their face. Although you'd probably be the topic of discussion if you got a bright green Mohican, just as you would now.

But this is MY experience of this, hence why I asked if anyone else has experienced this, so would hardly say ageist shite. You might not have experienced it, which is fine. But scroll on if you don’t like the thread love.

Of course we are. We sit in our upright armchairs, peering through our net curtains, only leaving to eat our one salad a day, and tut away to ourselves about how the woman in No 32 is at least a size 12 now, and the bloke with the big car must have been on a diet, and oh, it’s sad what happened to Jane’s sister, I expect it’s grief that’s made her look so gaunt, and blimey, I think whatserface from the big house has been on them injections I’ve read about in the paper, oooh, my grandkids are coming for tea, I’ d best hide those biscuits I bought for the workmen because the middle one was looking a bit porky last month…

All of us, all the time. FFS.

DD24 has recently got engaged and they are planning on getting married next summer. Last week she went for a wander round our local charity shops with MIL and DD21 (I was WFH and MIL talks non-stop and is very loud so DD24 didn't want her in the house). One of the charity shops has been having a wedding event and has had wedding dresses in the window. MIL suggested that DD24 could buy the one in the window. When DD24 said it was too small MIL's reply was "you'll want to lose weight before your wedding". DD is a size 8 and has to maintain her weight at that level for health reasons.

No younger people talk about people's gender instead - another ageist made up stereotype for you !

Well I’m not embarrassed. I don’t think it’s ignorant at all asking a question. What I do find ignorant is someone who can’t understand someone else might have a different opinion or experience to them. But carry on with your day and scroll on 😁

Why don't we just lump 60+ women into one big blob and attach a stereotype to them 🙄

never heard a 60+ woman talking about it...heard loads of 20+ men and women banging on about it though.

HTH

It isn't your experience though, unless you've spoken to most of the over 60 "mainly women" population.

My dad is early 90s , as are in-laws and they think nothing of commenting on weight and physical appearance. They also eschew food portions they think are too large. All born in the 30s. It’s a moral failing to be fat and have bad credit as far as they are concerned.

Some older people.

Unfortunately my DM (now in her 80s) is one of them and always has been. But then she got it from her mother who was absolutely awful about making comments about weight.

It helps to know that she is just as horrible to herself about her own weight, as she is about other peoples. It all comes from a crushing lack of self esteem and childhood training that you will only be valued if you meet certain criteria - one of which is being slim.

Oh and one more comment - a lot of younger people do look horrendously overweight to over 50's Size 16 - 18 for an under 30 has been normalised but isn't what I'm used to seeing.