Are older people obsessed with commenting on other peoples weight?

[ByZanyRubyOrca]

I’m a nurse and have previously worked in older peoples care, so usually around 60+ and find they (mainly women) are obsessed with commenting on other people’s appearances such as how they look, if they are attractive/not attractive but mainly weight comments.
Examples of real life comments “Isn’t Kirsty putting on the weight? Laura has lost too much weight and looks gaunt. Charlotte needs to wear more make up if she wants to find herself a man. John is getting too big, how can he even walk?

I also noticed when I was around 14, my nana would also make comments on everyone’s weight, even her grandchildren (girls and boys) so she would have been around mid 50s then so not old at all. Comments would be made to add context I suppose, but then she would just make comments without it being relevant to what she was talking about.

When I was 20, I visited my then boyfriend’s nana for the first time and she made comments to him about my weight, right infront of me, as if I wasn’t there. Saying how I was fatter than his sisters 😂 I wasn’t fatter than his sisters at all, in fact I was several stone lighter ( was a size 8 at the time) but even if I was heavier why even mention that or bring it up? She then offered me several of her size 20 jumpers, as she thought they might fit me as they were too big for her, despite her being a size 20. Nothing wrong with being a size 20 at all it’s more that she’s saying they were too big for her and I would fit in them, despite me being a size 8 and there’s clearly a obvious difference in size.

Has anyone else experienced this? I work with people in their 20s and people older than me and have noticed they don’t really talk about weight or make comments on appearance.

I haven’t got the age range wrong, my job description was “older people’s medicine”. 60 is the youngest age we will accept on the ward, but we did have a patient that was 55, due to their health condition. Most people at 60 are still working, I said 60+ to simply indicate the age range. Never said anything about all 60 year olds are like this, also said mainly women, not all women. Men do make comments too.

I’m in the age bracket concerned and I never comment on anyone’s weight. Apart from anything else, like many of my generation, I was brought up to consider personal remarks to be rude.

My Grandmother was like this, she was also French and had no filter when it came to peoples weight!

It’s so wearing, hearing relatives discuss weight and their comments on their own food consumption being naughty or terrible.
And commenting on people in public being overweight or having tattoos. Mentioning the guessed ethnicity of new neighbours in hushed tones as if it is necessary to add that info…

Where did I say in my post I have never met an older person who’s not obsessed by other peoples weight?

Are younger people obsessed with peoples age ?

Yep, that’s the over 50s for you….or is it just your family?

Jesus Christ, this thread!

It’s a generational thing. I know many older women in their 80s who would NEVER have allowed themselves to get over weight and always comment on women’s weight. . Probably they lived their youth when the food market was a very different place to. It’s wrong by our standards now, but no doubt we’ll all be getting it wrong when we’re older as well in some shape or form.
I personally find that the teens of today are much bigger. Bigger bone structure, taller, wider. Anyone else noticed this? They’re huge compared to my generation. All friends my age agree.

I did when I was in Philly and they had the guy that played the Mountain on GOT and the newscaster went behind him and you couldn't see any bit of the newsguy. Now that dude was big.

Other than that, I really don't hear much of that here. Hair is big here. And shenanigans.

Actually probably just my family, being 50+ has probably made it a bit worse tbh!

My parents are absolutely obsessed with everyone's weight in a way that I have never noticed in anyone else. Constantly talking about people's weight and my parents ask me how much I weigh every time I see them. My dad always told me that the worst thing I could ever do in his eyes was to get fat and that a fat wife was every man's worst nightmare. My parents constantly make stupid comments about everyone's appearances, especially women on the TV. They will mention weight but also facial features such as a big nose or chin, and they act as if these people have crooked teeth or big ears to personally offend them, or that they had a choice in the matter. They also have a problem with people having surgery or people on diets and exercising, and basically get angry when people just aren't naturally thin and attractive.

Might be worth bearing in mind that it would have been simple to go to the GP, say you were tired and wanted to lose a bit of baby weight and come out with a prescription for amphetamines in the 50s and 60s (and then tranquilisers to address the insomnia arising from it), to be taken with your 6am black coffee and third cigarette (of about 80) of the day.

Agree op. My gran and my mother in law are very rude about weight and act shocked by/comment loudly on obese people in the street etc

Here's another thread title for you:

Are younger people obsessed with commenting on the age of those who comment on others' weight?

If you are fixated on age as a source of generally being a less rational, sane and humane person than younger people, then naturally you are going to notice all the examples of older people being a bit crap, and to give them more weight than examples of younger people being a bit crap.

Also, it is hard for older people in hospital to deal with the fact that they are viewed by the staff through the prism of hostile ageist stereotypes. One solution to the difficulty, if you are an older patient, is just to play along with the younger person's expectations. To be the dotty old superficial unperson that the younger person is expecting to deal with, and to talk trivia.

But if you were born within 20 years of WW2, you are likely to have been brought up by parents who grew up during that war, with the social norms of that war.

I’ve been thinking about this today. I’m currently in Brittany. No one is fat at all. I am, I’m a good 20-22. I was brought up by b. 1933 parents. They were frugal, yet leapt upon 70s convenience food, while commenting how ‘no one was fat during the war’. I suspect they would have become quite large if it weren’t for a life time of heavy smoking!

Thanks to those who replied 👏🏼 haven’t read all comments yet but will reply.

I never said anywhere in my post that I think 60 year olds are old. I said I work in older people’s care. So yes, the age range of those patients are 60+, these are facts. I have no problem with people who disagree, as I understand they might not have experienced that. I also think some people did not read the post properly. I asked if other people had this experience, as in did they have comments made to them about their weight or appearance. Not if they make the comments themselves.

I also don’t engage in posts made by people who are offended because they misread the post and add nothing to the conversation I suggest you actually read posts properly in future 😄

My mum has mentioned my weight for the last 40yrs. Her nickname for me as a teenager was "chubby" so much so that when i visited her office once they wouldnt belive it was me, I was never more than a 8/10.

Anytime i tipped over a size 10, id be told i was fat.

During Covid i went from an 8 to16. I was told i was too fat to get in the car, to be careful i didnt hit the other cars with my stomach and other vile stuff. It reached a head when she told my teenage boys how fat i was and laughed.

it was all done under the guise of "im joking" etc. And that generation thought it was ok. My 2 cousins ended up anorexic.

This is my experience with my Dad, Mum and Step Dad. I've gone low contact with my Dad because he can't stop himself trying to belittle me over my weight in front of my kids. I won't tolerate it.
My Mum and Step Dad seem better recently (they can't agree my Dad is unreasonable if they're also guilty, although with them it was less malicious). I've had to ask my mum to stop commenting on other peoples weight in front of my 7yo though.
My Mum seems unable to relax about her weight and will probably be on a diet till the day she dies.

It's literally the title of your thread 😂 i really don't think you can reasonably say that you didn’t state that all "older" (60+!!!) people are obsessed when it is what you chose as the title of your post!

to be fair it does seem like as some people age they lose their filter.

much older than 60 mind.

But trends do exist, and observing them is part of us being human. The fact you haven’t observed this particular trend in older people doesn’t mean that it a) doesn’t exist or b) that OP is ageist.

Surely anyone can understand that a trend or generalisation is just that. It’s implicit that there are shades of grey and it’s not an all or nothing statement. And shutting down a discussion on it seems unnecessary.

I agree OP - and all those over 60s on here who say it’s not them are just getting shitty for nothing! Both my mother, and my MIL, plus my grandma when she was alive constantly comment on people’s weight, hair, clothes etc and I know from my friends’ experience it’s not just my family. I think the younger generations are a bit more polite and also more accepting of people who are fat (probably because so many people are these days 🤷‍♀️)

Guess you don't get out much. I think of my aging families who have got more manners than to say anything about anyone's weight.

I have never been overweight. The comments I got as a teenager were along the lines of "ooh, aren't you skinny" from people my own age.

Is it just weight though?
I feel that older people just tend to be more blunt then younger generations (less concerned about offending or triggering others).

As somebody with no filter I much prefer brutal honesty TBH.