Are older people obsessed with commenting on other peoples weight?

[ByZanyRubyOrca]

I’m a nurse and have previously worked in older peoples care, so usually around 60+ and find they (mainly women) are obsessed with commenting on other people’s appearances such as how they look, if they are attractive/not attractive but mainly weight comments.
Examples of real life comments “Isn’t Kirsty putting on the weight? Laura has lost too much weight and looks gaunt. Charlotte needs to wear more make up if she wants to find herself a man. John is getting too big, how can he even walk?

I also noticed when I was around 14, my nana would also make comments on everyone’s weight, even her grandchildren (girls and boys) so she would have been around mid 50s then so not old at all. Comments would be made to add context I suppose, but then she would just make comments without it being relevant to what she was talking about.

When I was 20, I visited my then boyfriend’s nana for the first time and she made comments to him about my weight, right infront of me, as if I wasn’t there. Saying how I was fatter than his sisters 😂 I wasn’t fatter than his sisters at all, in fact I was several stone lighter ( was a size 8 at the time) but even if I was heavier why even mention that or bring it up? She then offered me several of her size 20 jumpers, as she thought they might fit me as they were too big for her, despite her being a size 20. Nothing wrong with being a size 20 at all it’s more that she’s saying they were too big for her and I would fit in them, despite me being a size 8 and there’s clearly a obvious difference in size.

Has anyone else experienced this? I work with people in their 20s and people older than me and have noticed they don’t really talk about weight or make comments on appearance.

Totally agree with this comment. I know loads of old people who would refer to a person as looking 'strong' if they were clearly well-fed and worry if someone was thin. The shortage of food during wartime led to some complexes about food intake; petrified if someone looks too lean - tuberculosis worries and horror at someone over-indulging (falling into flesh). They are dated notions but are part of elderly people's thinking.

My older relatives can be like this. Commenting on weight, aspects of appearance like acne, judging what people name their children. The dread of sitting at the school play, reading the programme ‘who would call their child that?’. I don’t know, but let’s hope they’re not sat within earshot.
In my experience, it seems to be part of a general judginess with not much of a filter.

I don’t follow? Can you explain that again.

Is it so hard for you to believe that this our lived experience of the older people around in OUR lives? Not yours, not you, OURS??

I definitely get where @ByZanyRubyOrca is coming from as this was my experience from aged 8 and up, all my female, some male, elders were constantly on at me, jokes, insults, snide comments all about my weight?

I volunteered at an old folks home for a while too during my teenage years and what a bloody mistake that was too for my self esteem, constant comments "Ooo, you won't be cold like us dear, will you? Not with your insulation! Here, Maureen, did you hear what I said, won't be cold, will she?" Cackle!
Having a cup of tea with them and the biscuits get passed round "leave some for us dear, won't you?" Cackle!

So yeah, in my experience, a lot of old people have been utter shit bags towards me!

Please note, this is my experience within my family before anyone thinks I’m ageist.

I find all generations have some members who feel compelled to comment on weight.

However, in my experience, there is a difference in the type of comments.

Older generation: faux concern about health.
Younger generation: unattractive, unfuckable.

As a fat person myself, both are equally tiresome.

on the other hand maybe young people are porkers?

Well you answered your own question, not everyone over 60 comments on people's weight, I certainly don't. Suggestion, get to know people over 60 who don't comment on things like that and you will see how narrow minded you and these people are.
I will not scroll on, you just don't like people disagreeing with you. I find your thread narrow minded and insulting, also I have heard people alot younger commenting about weight. It has nothing to do with age.

This is sad. No one should comment on other people’s weight full stop and especially not children’s.

You have never met an "older" person who's not obsessed by other people's weight? Really?

There are lots of people who are older than you, who are not. Happy to introduce you to them and prove your massive generalisation wrong.

Have you been on Mumsnet long, Op? 90% of posts are disagreeing with each other 🤣 If we all just scrolled on, love, there would be about 6 posts a day.

You asked the question and we answered it, that's how questions work. If you don't like the answers then next time, don't ask the question.

Yup!

Been a nurse for 30 years and cannot say it is a common pattern I have noticed. We have the odd rude older person but then we have many rude younger people too.

I agree op. My parents both do this and my mum was a horror for it. Never had anything nice to say when I was her ideal weight either!

I recently commented positively on someone's weight/size saying they were fit and healthy really and received an absolute roasting from my teen!!

So yes, this is generational and a good thing I guess.

I disagree, but obviously this is a trend, I don't think anyone literally means that every single person over the age of 60 feels the need to comment on someone's weight or size...

😂😂😂 thanks for the heads up. I stand by what I said and other people commenting have had similar experiences. It’s fine if not all people think this or haven’t had this experience, but all experiences are universal. But when you start calling me ageist or ignorant or bring up black people (weird as I never brought up race) because I dared to share MY experience they really are clutching at straws. People love to be offended. Let them come after me 👀

I remember putting a pencil skirt on and asking my grandma what she thought of it. Her answer: don't bend over, I can't sew. I still laugh thinking about it. They grew up in a very different era when you could say things like this without reprimand.
On an aside, she was asked as my grandad blew out the candles on his retirement cake what her wish was and she replied, "the widow's pension". Even my grandad laughed at that. People weren't policed back in the day with regards to what they said. I'm not saying it was a good thing but it was how it was and it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks.

My mum is terrible for it, as was her mum. I think she’s losing inhibitions with it, as she’s got even worse in recent years.
My aunt was fine, then last year made a couple of pointed comments to DH about it.
DH’s mum is bad for it- at least about her sons, ok with me and SiL

They are the worst of all the people I have ever known and they are all 80-90.

However, that’s not ‘all’, and my lovely FiL would never have said anything!

1954

I agree OP people my mums age and above seem obsessed or unable to not mention it at times. They would describe people based on their weight etc and are so pass remarkable about it. My granny's age group just seem to say it directly to children and everyone it's awful. It was my experience growing up.

@ByZanyRubyOrca when you say that no one should comment on anyone’s weight, do you include medical professionals who may be commenting from the perspective of susceptibility to ill health from being overweight.

If it is impacting health and well being, it’s reasonable to speak about it surely, whatever age you are. If many people weren’t conscious of being overweight, there would be no Weight Watchers et al, no one on a diet and the current weight loss injection industry wouldn’t happen.

Actually, it depends who you are thinking of as older 🤣

I’m thinking of the generation above mine and they really do fit your stereotype.

Then someone referred to people over 60- well I’m thinking of older people as people in their 80s. People in their 60s are my sisters age. I’m 55.

So if you think about older people as 55+ then I disagree 🤣

You beat me to it.

Ageism is the only form of discrimination still allowed.

Fighting talk @ByZanyRubyOrca 😆