Brother has found parents’ wills

[ChorltonCreamery]

My mother tripped over a few days ago. Initially all seemed fine. Friend brought her home but the next day she went to a walk in. It was felt that she might need a procedure on her wrist.

What I only found out yesterday was that Dad rang one of my brothers to go through his desk to find this policy they have, a medical insurance that kicks in if NHS waiting list is too long. In the process of doing this he found their wills and read them.

Yesterday Brother asked if I could go round to his but I couldn’t as we are away. This afternoon sister texts me to call her back, it turns our parents have divided their estate into four. Three quarters between brother, sister and me with a quarter going to other brother’s child(ren) with us three acting as trustees.

Brother 2 is not included, we think because sister in law has two children from previous marriage and there has been drama from them.

Brother wants me and sister to meet for a chat about everything.

He says that the wills were not in a marked file and he had to go through lots of stuff in order to find the insurance.

I don’t know what to think, or what I am meant to think. Sisters annoyed with brother for even telling us.

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They've made their choice. Not sure what you need to have a meeting about to be honest.

Upon further thought, if the parents' goal is to keep their estate within their own family then wouldn't a trust be more suitable?

Lawyer here. This is a gross breach of trust I’m afraid. He had no right to read it and certainly no right to tell you about it however upset he is with what it says. You should have no part in the discussion, to protect your own position, and if he tries to put pressure on any of you and/or your parents (especially at this time!) to change it, potentially you’re looking at elder abuse/breach of his fiduciary duties as an appointed trustee. It’s a complex area of law but an appointment as a trustee is an onerous responsibility with legal duties and penalties for breach. The law exists for a reason. You need to be really careful with this

You need to read the OP more carefully 😆

Well, nobody knows that what DB1 actually found, if anything, was his parents' latest wills. He doesn't know if they are the latest wills, they could be older ones rescinded by newer ones stored somewhere safer like solicitors' office. And what's he's reported to OP might not be accurate. He could be shit-stirring for all anybody knows. I wouldn't want to meet up with him to discuss some private documents he had utterly no business reading. And I don't agree that "anybody would" read other people's private documents, some people have stronger morals than that.

A lawyer would have far better attention to detail than you appear to have.

The difficulty with saying nothing is that it assumes that you all keep quiet forever. If brother 2 ever even gets an inking that the 3 of you know this, either before or after your parents pass, it’ll cause ructions within the family. Do you think feasible that you hold onto this ad infinitum? it seems unrealistic to me personally. Who is the weakest link of the 3 of you.…sounds like B1 to me.

What’s done is done; I think I’d be inclined to discuss it with my parents and explain that it’s going to cause issues once they die. Is that what they really want?

A lawyer would have far better attention to detail than you appear to have.

Yeah, I wouldn't be hiring you 😆😆

I’d do the same as your parents- I’d want to be sure my Grandchildren ultimately get money rather than DIL and her kids if she outlives son. Don’t have a meeting about it - your brother shouldn’t have looked.

Talk about what? They are alive and you and your siblings may predecease them - nothing to talk about at the moment. When they die, then you talk - you want to share your inheritance? Up to you. Complex moral issues - like going against your parents' will - had they known you were going to disregard their last will, they would have been free to dispose of their assets in other ways.

I'm not sure what your point is. The brother's behaviour is appalling.

The parents should leave everything to a cat protection charity, and the ungrateful grasping children can go and whistle.

Weren't the wills in sealed envelopes?

The brother's behaviour is appalling.

So why disinherit the OP, the other sister & the gc? Your post doesn't make sense.

It's not rare that the female child makes an effort to stay in touch while the male children do not...

They can definitely decide give their money to DB2 if they don’t want to give it to the couple as obviously it would become family assets and split with the other children

giving it grandkids is the best of an awkward situation

It's not rare that the female child makes an effort to stay in touch while the male children do not...

Doesn't mean you should disinherit them.

Because: he is being treated unequally to the other three siblings and it may in fact benefit his grandchildren far more for him to have the money while they are young to provide them with what they need as children, for a variety of reasons; it is likely to make him extremely upset and create problems in the relationships with his other three siblings, particularly as they are being put in the invideous position of being named as trustees; it is parental judgement meted out from beyond the grave if nobody had discovered it in time which is a horrible way to treat one of your children and a nasty legacy to leave; it won’t protect their assets anyway from divorce or remarriages because any of the other three siblings might do the in future, or indeed the grandchildren, so fundamentally just shows a disrespect and distrust of this one child’s judgement and is very controlling; it will also likely sow discord amongst these grandchildren and any other grandchildren in the family; they haven’t been transparent about their intentions which is cowardly; and finally it is just really unpleasant and spiteful.

So what? Your children are your children. You’d have to be a nasty person to want to sow further discord in your family from beyond the grave. Even if a relationship had been difficult a decent parent would want their final act to be one of love, not spite, sowing seeds for further family rifts.

Your db needs to talk to your parents this is not your issue op it’s his.

If those who do ultimately inherit, then provided they all agree they can make a Deed of Variation, to reinstate the other brother.

Dh and his brothers did this, after one of them had been disinherited by an aunt, who’d had a valid reason at the time (brother had a massively spendthrift wife - she didn’t want her having any of the money to waste) but by the time the aunt died they were divorced anyway.

It would depend on how others reacted to the revelations made by the sneak. I'm not particularly impressed by the OP so far.

Why would they be? Ours aren’t.

To whom @AgnesX? Maybe their DIL is truly awful? Maybe she is lovely. If they wanted to they could leave it all to a local cat sanctuary. It's not a crime to want to keep things in the family. They clearly don't view her or her children as family

Two thoughts came to mind to begin with- good that a will has been made, and I defend anyone making their choice for a will assuming it has been freely done with no coercion.

I don't think the brother should have disclosed the contents unless his mother had asked him to on her behalf.

They may not be but now consider the family dynamics.

Smart? That depends on your pov. I still think it's downright petty.