Friend didn’t invited my DSD

[curiousaccident]

Have been close friends with Jane for years.

I have two little dc who Jane is close with. I also have a junior school aged DSD but I mostly end up seeing Jane in the day while she is at school whereas my dc are at home with me.

DSDs mum isn’t involved so I very much try to treat her as my own. Friend has her own stepchildren but they rarely stay over and she doesn’t seem to particularly like them.

Janes made comments before when I’ve said I’m doing something for or with DSD questioning why or saying she wouldn’t bother or that I shouldn’t either. If I mention something DSD has done, Jane never seems interested whereas she’s always asking about dc.

Jane had a party today and invited, looking back at the message me and ‘my babies’. I didn’t even consider that DSD wouldn’t be invited, DP is away on a business trip but even if he was home I think I would still have taken her.
After turning up with the three of them Jane took me aside and asked why I’d brought DSD,that no other kids were invited and she’d just wanted my dc there.

She said it was fine now but once she walked away I got them all and left as I was shocked. Jane is now annoyed I left and doesn’t think she’s done anything wrong.

Was I unreasonable to take DSD? Or to be upset that Jane said she didn’t want her there?

Is DSD with you full time?

No YANBU. Thank goodness for stepmums like you.

You were totally right. If her mum isn’t on the scene she is your baby too. Glad she has a lovely step mum like you.

YANBU

That's awful, I'd never speak to her again its just vile behaviour

Your friend doesn't sound like a very nice person. What did she expect you to do with your step daughter?
Perhaps you should distance yourself from her

I'd never speak to her again. That's disgusting behaviour on her part and shows a lot about how she views her own dsc.

Imagine leaving out a little girl and then actually saying it out loud to you when you got there. Well done for leaving.

95% of the time. She doesn’t see her mum but does stay with family on her mums side occasionally.

That’s what shocked me the most.

I can kind of get that she really just wanted my dc there just as she spends time with them weekly but doesn’t really know DSD as she’s always at school but to not want her there so badly that she says something once I’ve turned up with her.

if I had a party and my friend turned up with a randoms neighbours kid I’d never heard off I’d just welcome them.

I'm thankful she's got you

Ah. Your friend is a bit of a shit then. I'd go NC over something like that.

Maybe she didn't want conversation limited with an older dc hearing?.

Wrong.
Your friend is A LOT of a shit .

And yes, NC for sure.

Jane is a prick. Put Jane in the bin

I’m guessing she is an ex friend now.

Thank god SD has you as a stepmum, especially if her mum isn’t in her life very much. Reading a lot of the threads on MN it’s clear a lot of people feel the same way as your friend sadly so it’s refreshing to see a stepmum treating their SD the same as their own kids. Obviously your friend doesn’t like her own SC so is projecting this onto you and expecting you to behave the same way. Disgusting to pull you to one side and say this out loud.

Luckily Dsd has you. Sounds like your ex friend has issues.

Well done😇
That was such a weird thing to do.
Possibly theory for her crap behaviour is that you make her look bad as you are kind and good to your step child and she is not kind to hers. You could be making her look bad (which she is) in front of her husband. Just a theory but you def did the right thing.

Exactly what she said. You sound fab. I’ll ditch a friend.

You sound like a lovely parent to all your kids OP

Ditch the friend because she is trying to make you treat your dsd badly. Deep down you make her feel uncomfortable about treating her dsc the way she does. This is why she's trying to make you do the same; this is no friend. She is emotionally abusive, who does that to a child unless they're a sociopath.

YANBU ❤️

Jayne is horrible. You sound like a great step mum.