Page 8 | Another neighbour post

Lesleyann25 · 2025-05-24T09:23:43+00:00

I am having an ongoing problem with my downstairs neighbour. My daughter and I moved into a large apartment in December it’s a really good area and we like it here. It started as soon as we moved in, there is a lady in her 60s with her adult son about 20. It appears the son stays up all night and sleeps all day and games under my room until around 4am shouting at the screen. I spoke to lady she was very nice said she would tell him to keep it and down and went on a long spiel about him having mental health problems and waiting for a diagnosis for autism so I have tried to cut them a bit of slack but it really isn’t on I have to listen to podcasts to sleep. What has really annoyed me is that my daughters bedroom door is a bit stiff so it makes a bit of noise when she closes it in the mornings but I am talking about 8am, we are out all day and go to bed by 10 as I have work too. Now the son has started slamming doors at 4am I am assuming in revenge so I have reported them to the council. Autism and mental health is not a reason to keep other people up all night surely? I think it’s completely out of order. She said he has insomnia too. Anyone else dealt with this?

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:19

kittensinthekitchen · 26/05/2025 22:17

Yes, because launching a harrassment campaign on someone who may have a disability and be experiencing mental health issues is soooooo fun girl!

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I have an anxiety disorder myself. So do I need to put up with being made to feel anxious due to no sleep. I don’t want the person evicted but surely smoking weed isnt going to help anyone.

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Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:21

kittensinthekitchen · 26/05/2025 22:19

Actually I haven't voted.

But keep throwing the abuse in the hopes of getting your own thread deleted so others can't see how abusive you are being 😘

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Oh HI mittenkittens enjoy your evening I will bid you farewell.

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kittensinthekitchen · 26/05/2025 22:22

Cheerio, good luck with your job interview

Theroadt · 26/05/2025 22:33

I don’t agree. If I was the mum I’d disconnect the machine. He should be at work paying his share of thd rent. There is no excuse for what he is doing, and his mum is facilitating.

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:34

PawsAndTails · 26/05/2025 22:17

It sounds like the man has complex needs. How does the mother sleep? I doubt you are likely to get anywhere using formal complaints routes (not that you can't try) if he's a vulnerable person.

You shouldn't have to move but, given the level of distress this is causing you, maybe it's worth just doing it?

The only other real options are for you to try dampening the noise with things like thick rugs on the floor, white noise, etc.

Don't blame the mother though. She can't make her son do anything and is unlikely to ask a vulnerable child, even if adult, to move out.

It must be difficult for the mother and inam
pretty sure they’ve probably experienced this issue in the past but even my 11 year old turns her music down of her own accord by 8pm bevause she does not want to disturb the neighbours and if when she is older she keeps me awake or anyone else for that matter I will put a stop to
it. No ifs or buts.

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Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:38

Theroadt · 26/05/2025 22:33

I don’t agree. If I was the mum I’d disconnect the machine. He should be at work paying his share of thd rent. There is no excuse for what he is doing, and his mum is facilitating.

This is why I am so frustrated because the mother came
at me with every single little problem that he has which made me just put up and shut up for quite a while. Then I did text her one time saying it’s 3pm can you please ask him to be quiet I got a big long text about how she isn’t there as her cousins husband has a heart attack j and he might have died but he didn’t and she couldn’t make it back because she had to go to her other sons house because he is unwell and I just thought oh come on. Excuses after excuses

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Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:39

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:38

This is why I am so frustrated because the mother came
at me with every single little problem that he has which made me just put up and shut up for quite a while. Then I did text her one time saying it’s 3pm can you please ask him to be quiet I got a big long text about how she isn’t there as her cousins husband has a heart attack j and he might have died but he didn’t and she couldn’t make it back because she had to go to her other sons house because he is unwell and I just thought oh come on. Excuses after excuses

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3am sorry not 3pm

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PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 22:39

AngelicKaty · 26/05/2025 17:25

Yes, all councils' environmental health departments have Class 1 sound-level meters for measuring noise, and your council could place one of these in your bedroom for, say, a week to measure the noise caused by your neighbour's son.
According to the UK government's website, the Noise Act 1996 defines night hours as between 11 pm and 7 am, and noise levels exceeding 34 dBA during these hours can be considered a nuisance, especially if the background noise is less than 24 dBA. (If the background noise exceeds 24 dBA, 10 dBA above the background level is considered the limit.)
I guess someone could get an autism diagnosis later in life if they've not pursued one sooner, but the fact that he quietened down for a few weeks after one of your conversations with his mother suggests that, even if he does have autism, it isn't so severe that he can't exercise self-control over the amount of noise he makes. And as PPs have commented, his poor mental health is no excuse for routinely disturbing your sleep so that your mental health is affected.

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This advice is completely not helpful - because it simply isn’t true. Not all councils have class one sound level meters and the Noise Act only applies where it has been adopted. There’s a little bit more to nuisance than this. Private nuisance- well that’s a different discussion but I can’t imagine any court convicting someone with mental health issues.

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:41

PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 22:39

This advice is completely not helpful - because it simply isn’t true. Not all councils have class one sound level meters and the Noise Act only applies where it has been adopted. There’s a little bit more to nuisance than this. Private nuisance- well that’s a different discussion but I can’t imagine any court convicting someone with mental health issues.

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I don’t want him convicted or evicted. So many people have mental health issues now. He can scream and shout all he wants in day time hours im not here just don’t sleep all day and stay up all night shouting.

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PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 22:43

Seriously, how do you expect that to be controlled? Genuine question, what is your suggestion?

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:47

PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 22:43

Seriously, how do you expect that to be controlled? Genuine question, what is your suggestion?

I am sure stopping the dope smoking might help and encouraging a more healthy lifestyle. It’s not good
for anyone not to see daylight I’d probably feel
mentally ill just the two of those combined. I would definitely not allow anyone in my home to live like that and definitely would not have any child of mine smoking drugs around me.

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PawsAndTails · 26/05/2025 22:48

It sounds like he probably has a sleep phase disorder, among other things.

The mother probably hasn't got as much control as you think. He may not be able to live on his own, supported living arrangements aren't that easy to come by and if the other option is kick him out to the streets, she's not going to do that, is she?

His vocalisations might not be as voluntary as you think either.

The ideal solution may be them moving to accommodation that is more suitable for his needs, but it doesn't even sound like they have been fully established yet. He's still going through an evaluation and diagnostic process. None of this sort of thing happens quickly.

PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 22:51

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:47

I am sure stopping the dope smoking might help and encouraging a more healthy lifestyle. It’s not good
for anyone not to see daylight I’d probably feel
mentally ill just the two of those combined. I would definitely not allow anyone in my home to live like that and definitely would not have any child of mine smoking drugs around me.

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But that isn’t something that you can control is it. You might not like it and not allow your kids to do it, but the morher here might not be able to control that and it certainly isn’t for you to control - you don’t even know if it’s prescribed and would be worse without it. Not trying to be goady, but how he decides to smoke is nothing to do with you……so what’s your suggestion; that can be controlled to resolve it?

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:54

PawsAndTails · 26/05/2025 22:48

It sounds like he probably has a sleep phase disorder, among other things.

The mother probably hasn't got as much control as you think. He may not be able to live on his own, supported living arrangements aren't that easy to come by and if the other option is kick him out to the streets, she's not going to do that, is she?

His vocalisations might not be as voluntary as you think either.

The ideal solution may be them moving to accommodation that is more suitable for his needs, but it doesn't even sound like they have been fully established yet. He's still going through an evaluation and diagnostic process. None of this sort of thing happens quickly.

After 5 months of being here hand on heart i get the impression from seeing him out laughing with his girlfriend and him and his girlfriend joking around that his needs are
not as complex as
people seem
to think here. He seems to have a very good social life so how can that not translate to a good social life during decent hours.

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Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:56

PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 22:51

But that isn’t something that you can control is it. You might not like it and not allow your kids to do it, but the morher here might not be able to control that and it certainly isn’t for you to control - you don’t even know if it’s prescribed and would be worse without it. Not trying to be goady, but how he decides to smoke is nothing to do with you……so what’s your suggestion; that can be controlled to resolve it?

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Ok maybe I will just start snorting cocaine and blasting music every night to combat the anxiety it’s causing me and drown out the sound. You do not live here I know his needs are not as complex as people think. His social life with his girlfriend tells me
otherwise

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Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:58

Throw my hands up. I kmow
what I see and hear daily. At first I thought his needs must be so complex but erm no
i dont believe so anymore.

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Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 23:00

PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 22:51

But that isn’t something that you can control is it. You might not like it and not allow your kids to do it, but the morher here might not be able to control that and it certainly isn’t for you to control - you don’t even know if it’s prescribed and would be worse without it. Not trying to be goady, but how he decides to smoke is nothing to do with you……so what’s your suggestion; that can be controlled to resolve it?

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Would you like your child smelling his dope. No you wouldn’t

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PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 23:02

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 23:00

Would you like your child smelling his dope. No you wouldn’t

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I wouldn’t. But I would recognise what I can and can’t control and your view on what would be al considered personal use is unreasonable. I get that it’s stressful but you being aggressive with others on here isn’t going to help.

No I don’t live there but has it occurred to you that some people on this thread may have had similar issues and are just giving advice (as you have asked for actually).

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 23:09

PrincessArora · 26/05/2025 23:02

I wouldn’t. But I would recognise what I can and can’t control and your view on what would be al considered personal use is unreasonable. I get that it’s stressful but you being aggressive with others on here isn’t going to help.

No I don’t live there but has it occurred to you that some people on this thread may have had similar issues and are just giving advice (as you have asked for actually).

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Yes and some people are giving good advice. I see this person with his girlfriend his girlfriend stays over quite often. They are laughing and joking a lot of the time he seems to hold down a relationship and have quite a bit of fun. I am not going to try to defend my position any further it’s fruitless.

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deadpantrashcan · 26/05/2025 23:10

PoppyRoseBucky · 26/05/2025 17:15

I think you have proven that you are no expert in the realm of autism or mental health.

Many people with autism aren't diagnosed until later in life (if at all). Believe it or not, it's not always immediately obvious as a child especially if the adults around the child aren't well-versed in the signs to watch out for.

So, it's not only possible for a person to be 20 years old and going through the process of getting a diagnosis for autism but credible, too.

If you don't understand something, maybe don't speak on it with such certainty.

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👏

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 23:11

deadpantrashcan · 26/05/2025 23:10

👏

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Whatever.

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deadpantrashcan · 26/05/2025 23:14

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 22:54

After 5 months of being here hand on heart i get the impression from seeing him out laughing with his girlfriend and him and his girlfriend joking around that his needs are
not as complex as
people seem
to think here. He seems to have a very good social life so how can that not translate to a good social life during decent hours.

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Are there any assumptions left that you haven’t made about this boy? I get this is important to you, but you surely can’t know everything about this person. You can have your beliefs and opinions, but they are not complete facts. Stop presenting them as such.

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 23:14

I do not wish to receive anymore advice now thank you.

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deadpantrashcan · 26/05/2025 23:15

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 23:11

Whatever.

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Yes, whatever. Sorry that not everyone has agreed with you here. Don’t post on an opinions board in future and go to bed.

Original poster

Lesleyann25 · 26/05/2025 23:15

deadpantrashcan · 26/05/2025 23:14

Are there any assumptions left that you haven’t made about this boy? I get this is important to you, but you surely can’t know everything about this person. You can have your beliefs and opinions, but they are not complete facts. Stop presenting them as such.

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I have just said I am not looking for any more advice thank
you.🙏

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