Friend has caused nearly £300 plus worth of destruction

[Bunnyboilerfriend]

I had my friend stay the night last night, I waved her off goodbye this morning.

I said something unwittingly last night that made her think I’m after the same man she is, I am not. He is a mutual friend. I could see she was upset and tried to clarify things, she said she understood and she was fine. We both went to bed. Me upstairs. Her downstairs.

After I have seen her off this morning, I have just noticed a number of my jewellery on the hallways console are either broken or bent out of shape beyond recognition.

They were fine last night, there is no one else here who could have done it. I could see she was not only upset but angry last night, but seemed to have composed herself and it was resolved.

I have just sent a text to her saying can you tell me what happened to my jewellery on the console?

I am so shocked and upset I’m almost shaking, I feel so betrayed and violated.

What can I do next?

Yes. check the house.. and replace toothbrush heads... if she's mad enough to do that to your jewellery, she's unhinged enough to have attacked some other of your possessions. It's quite creepy to think that you were having a night out with someone you thought of as a friend, who was harbouring such crazy resentment against you - for something you had no intention of ever doing.. She must be quite an actress.
How drunk/high was she when it happened?

Anyway, to use the oft quoted MN advice - Get a ring doorbell, in case she goes full nut job. I expect she's pretty annoyed about the text.

If you get no response to your text, and you feel you won't ever get the money back, tell her you are making her a present of the money she owes you for the damage so that she can spend it on the therapy she so clearly needs ( a bit on the meow side but satisfying) then Block and NC.

I'd also put a pic of the damage on social media, without naming names, and ask your circle if it could have been done by falling on it or does it look like someone deliberately broke it and say if its the latter that you are so disappointed that someone you trusted would do that. Anyone who is interested will ask who it was and you can tell them privately. So that at least you've warned others (and you may find they know exactly who you were talking about because I'm guessing this isn't the first time she's done wierd stuff like this).

She sounds unhinged!

I'd make it my mission to hook up with the bloke she fancies and plaster pics all over socials after that, but I'm a petty motherflipper.

wow , you should have told his wife

This type of behaviour if she has done it is unhinged vindictive and spiteful and you most definitely do not need a friend like this... keep well away from her and end the friendship.

You used the word friend, I don't think this girl is your friend, even if you did want the same man there's no reason to go to this level of anger and disrespect. A real friend would stop and realise you have absolutely no control over what this man wants because its ok you both saying you liked him but end of the day its his choice if he liked one of you back.

She's clearly felt threatened by you, and sees you not as a friend but as competition and someone in the way of what she wants. To me no friends worth losing over a man , but they are worth losing for this level of disrespect for your property.

You caused it by your joke , that was not ok to say not even in jest , I hope you understand you crossed a line with your friend and you caused her reaction and you must hold accountability for that, but it doesn't justify how she reacted.

You both need to find new friends, because you both are toxic to each other.

Cut her off, and chalk it up to experience.

Go and get the man.

Jesus, she sounds unhinged.

How old is she? How long have you known her? What does she work as?

Really struggling to imagine the type of person who would behave like this in real life.

Absolutely tell everybody. All her friends and colleagues.

Aww give over! Were you both p*ed? If so, if you love her & she’s a valued friend you’ll forgive her. £300 is nothing, you can’t put a price on a good friendship 🫶🏻
We’re all human & screw up sometimes especially under the influence! Makes me laugh on here, the drama! Psychotic???? Getting locks changed??? Too much tv!
On the other hand, if this was sober behaviour or she’s not a valued friend, get rid!😮‍💨

Are you for real?

I own a few pieces of jewellery from my grandmother and from my aunt who died young. It isn't worth a lot but I'm really fond of it and sometimes have it out on display. So nothing (very) weird about keeping jewellery on a console table I think 😊

Wow, a friend would not behave like that!
She needs to apologise and pay to repair the jewellery. Even if you're both attracted to the same man, that's no excuse for such vindictiveness.

I've not read all replies, but how can jewellery worth in excess of £300 (allegedly) be broken or damaged without a lot of force & a hammer or suchlike?

Or perhaps there was a hammer left on the hall table ?
Or perhaps....

It is criminal damage and an offence

YANBO OP

My DH can do things like this such as eat twice as much as me but seemingly not realise so I have to tell him and then he'll stop. For example he'll eat some fries off my plate but he's a fast eater and I eat really slowly so I have to stay can you stop now so there are some for me?! He doesn't do it all the time or even that often but I have to say.

You have no proof the police won’t do anything.

Shag the guy.

I'd be amazed if the police even agreed to log this.

She is unhinged, don’t continue to contact. Forget about any compensation.

Please don't drag the guy into this as 'revenge'.

He's done nothing.

I would have a good look at everything she had access to, I doubt she took out all her wrath on your jewellery.

It’s basically her word against yours. I don’t think you will win this. You’ve probably really upset her. She sounds volatile. Pick your friends more carefully in future and be clear about friendship before men.

I had a friend who went mental
on me one night. Anyway she was staying in the same room that my boxed wedding dress was in so I actually moved it out. I had a really bad feeling she’d do something to it in her rage. We haven’t been friends really ever since. This awful incident goes to show what a toxic friend can do.

Police are stretched enough without reporting stuff like this. You know she did it. She knows she did it. You end the friendship .Sorted.

So she's a liar as well as nasty. This wasn't anger, this was deliberate retaliation for a perceived slight.

Id call her out.

I don't think you'll see the money again. But I wouldn't see her again either. Though if this man is a mutual friend I might be giving him fair warning too.

She did this on purpose, let it out for you to find then lied and gaslit you. Shes not your friend

So did you stumble and fall or not? You say you didn’t then you say ‘even so’ like you did stumble and fall but it’s not responsible for the damage.
Why would she say this happened if it didn’t?
I think maybe draw a line under your friendship and walk away.