Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

[WaterBed]

Apart from being desperate to crack the joke

“i really hope so - I only live at 55”

in all seriousness - I personally think it’s fine to be a Dad age 57 when your OH has a newborn. Any thoughts ?

Doesn’t mean they can play on the floor, run around playing football, chase after them when they do runner, play in the pool on holiday… Run around in their older years with clubs and hobbies etc

It’s far too old IMO as the quality of sperm drops leading to potential problems with the baby. Eg - Higher risk of autism.

Depends if its your first baby. I do wonder what kind of motives you have only prioritise a family so late in life. Having your first at 45 not so much. 50? OK I can understand not found the right person. But nearing 60? Not so sure. Judgey yes but there you go.

Not being a first baby I have less thoughts.

Well a lot of my friends are becoming grandparents at that age (and a bit younger) and they’re telling me how exhausting it is compared to when they had kids in their 20s/30s, and that’s only looking after the grandchild for a few hours. So I imagine it would be very hard work being a f/t parent at that age.

My dad took care of himself at 57 with no health issues.

By 62 he had cancer which is common for many people in their 60s, at 65 he was diagnosed with COPD, by 68 he had a stroke. 4 very difficult years later connected to oxygen 24hrs a day for the final year at 72 he died.

If he had been a new dad at 57, that child would have been just 15 years old by the time it lost its dad after going through years of stress and trauma.

I found it bloody hard in my 40s and 50s. Dealing with that in their young years would screw up a child.

It is beyond selfish having a child at that age.

@WaterBed No it’s pretty good!

My Dad was in his 50s when I was born and died in my 20s and let me tell you...it's not a good idea for anyone!

Okaaaaay, the oldest woman to conceive naturally was Dawn Brooke, who gave birth at the age of 59 in 1997.

So still entirely possible.

As a child of parents who had me at an older age, I wouldn’t. It’s really shit knowing they will die soon. I’m only in my 30s and I don’t want to say goodbye to them in the next few years. I know people can die at any age at any time, but it feels awful to know that my 30th could have been the last big birthday I spent with them. I think it’s pretty selfish to think it’s ok as long as I raise them until adulthood. People in their 20s and beyond really do still benefit from their parents guidance.

@WearyAuldWumman

Thanks!!!!

Sheesh I am slow...

Poor woman, she must have died whilst pregnant.

Personally not for me at 29 it was so difficult this first year not recognising the symptoms of PND having to get up so night feeds, children require a lot of energy sure there are a lot and fit and active 50 something's out there but there's potential for things to go wrong.

Even now at 43 my son will be 15 in September,so there would be a big age difference so a big no from me

Not a good plan. Your DC is potentially going to be faced with elder care at an age when they should be out and about making the most of their lives before settling down. Your DP will be 77 when your DC is 20.

Too late now.

So your husband was a decade younger than this man would be.

57 is way too old to have a baby.

My DH is mid-fifties and we had a baby together a couple of years ago.

It was not planned and if you'd asked me my views before I learned I was pregnant, I would have not have been enthusiastic.

However we have made the best of it and my DD is wonderful and life-changing for us both. My DH has been an incredible dad.

I am very worried and sad thinking about how DD is almost certainly going to lose her dad far earlier than anyone would wish. I am almost pre-grieving for her. But at the same time he has added so much to her life already. If we lost him tomorrow she would not have even memories of him but he would still have impacted her early development positively, and she would always have me trying to keep his presence alive for her. My DH has also taught me things about parenting - particularly its fun side - that I might never have known if I'd been a single mum instead, or if I had had a child with someone else.

So no, I don't think it's an ideal situation, but do I think my DD and others like her would be better off never having been born, or never having had a loving dad in their lives at all? No.

I know a couple, she’s 28 he’s 69, met when she was 18 and he was 59 🙄

They have two kids, 8 and 5, and she does as little as possible. Feels hard done by that she’s missing her youth, makes awful immature decisions. He’s miserable, recently retired and has spent the last 8 years doing the brunt of the childcare. They both drink heavily and have piled on the weight, slipped into depression and dysfunction. It was all fun and games when she was young, thinking she was some pinnacle of sexiness, luring the boss away from his wife and family in some exciting affair. The reality has hit them like a ton of bricks. Actually gives me the ick typing it out, whole situation is grotesque and the ones suffering most are their kids. So grim.

"luring the boss away from his wife and family in some exciting affair. "

How do you know she 'lured him away' especially as she was barely an adult and he was a married old man.

My friends dad was a similar age when she was born. She spent most of her teenage years and early 20’s caring for him as he developed Parkinson’s in his 60’s. Her mum had already died before she reached 13.
It’s not something I’d recommend for anyone

My work colleague is 58 and has a 4 year old along with a 6 month old.

He's like an extra from the Walking Dead. He says he comes to work for a rest

My husband was 50 when our son was born. I think it’s all dependant on the man! I know some 50 year olds who would not parent well- my other half is very fit, strong, and works mad hours to support us as well as having our son whenever he’s not working and is the most fun dad I’ve known. He’s so patient and doesn’t have that whole ‘I’m missing out on living my life’ thing I’ve seen in some of my friends’ partners, where they want to go out and party like they did before their kids were born.

I’m sure it’s not the case for all older dads, of course. But DH looks after himself better than ever so he is healthy and able to be fun and a wonderful dad for as long as possible. My dad was older when I was adopted, and he had far less energy when I was growing up than my DH does. He was still an excellent dad growing up for me but a bit different to how things are for my son.

Because she was my closest friend at the time and I got blow by blow accounts from both of them! He’d wanted a divorce for a while, she saw an opportunity to seduce him and thought she’d be getting the big house and a wealthy husband… non of it played out that way!

I know what the "joke" is supposed to be but as presented it doesn't make sense.

If we assume that nobody is thinking about ages we get
"Is it ok for a guy who lives at number 57 to be a dad to a newborn?"
"I hope so, I only live at number 55."

What does this mean? Why would the guy at number 55 hope it was ok for the guy who lives next door to be a father? What advantage is there in that for him?

As I say I know what it's supposed to be; the OP just fucked it up massively.

It’s always the woman’s fault isn’t it

Being 57 with a newborn may be fine.....
Being 75 before your child actually reaches adulthood is ridiculous, and the child is potentially going to miss out on a lot.
Not to mention the dad being knackered - who wants to wrangle a teenager in their 70s?!

Did I say that? She actively wanted to break up a family and he was a creepy old loser who wanted an 18 year old, they’re both wankers.