Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

[WaterBed]

Apart from being desperate to crack the joke

“i really hope so - I only live at 55”

in all seriousness - I personally think it’s fine to be a Dad age 57 when your OH has a newborn. Any thoughts ?

Too old. I had my last baby at 40 and I thought that was a bit old.
57 is craz6, you could be dead before they're 20.

Too old.

It is selfish because it means a limited amount of energy when it comes to looking after babies/toddlers and putting the burden of care on the younger partner.

Also being in your 70s with teenage kids is just daft. Not to mention then putting a potential burden of elderly care on adult children in their 20s.

I never understand women who have kids with much older partners. Absolutely not fair on the kids.

I can only assume your kids don't go to a very diverse school. We have Moms and Dads of all ages, Grnadads, Nans, Aunts, friends, all sorts doing pick ups. And we have parents ranging from their twenties upwards. I really doubt any of the kids care or notice given everyone is old to them. More likely parents like you causing the comments.

DH was 56 when we had our DC. I’m 20 years younger. He’s an excellent, very hands on dad in many ways and, now he is retired, he’s been great supervising GCSE revision. DC is a teenager now and at 71 DH is definitely slowing down a bit cognitively which frustrates DC, but DH is still very fit and active and I can’t see that changing any time soon. I have started to worry slightly about what life looks like in 5 years time, but I’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I know plenty of dads who are far less energetic than my DH. If you think 57 is old, wait til you get there and see how you feel. At 57 DH was working 50+ hours a week in a top level professional job and still shouldered the burden of the baby/toddler stage at weekends.

Must be brilliant to be married to Superman. That’s beyond unusual.

Just thought to add to the conversation. My partner of 9 years (54M) and I (29F) are about to have our first in the upcoming weeks. Before meeting me he suffered multiple pregnancy losses with partners and even with me we suffered one.
We're happy and both looking forward to the future. Is it selfish? Maybe but in the end it's our life. We also had a friend who found love later in life after his wife left him after 20 years. Had his first child in his 50s and is now over 70s with children who are all almost in adulthood. Happiest he's ever been.
Enjoy bubz

I'm not far off 57 and of course it is old to be a parent of a newborn.

But even if you can argue that 57 is still relatively young, having a baby this age means having teenaged children in your 70s, and that is way too old.

Very prescient thread with news about Boris fathering his (8th?) kid at 60!

I guess when you bring that into it we are only talking about fathering a child he hasn't done the full run with any of his kids yet.
Bail out Boris.

Far too old

If the child is loved, go for it.

"The child" doesn't exist.

Yeah, it’s too old. Won’t stop people from doing it though as people tend to be selfish and put their needs first. They can do some amazing mental gymnastics and genuinely believe they’ll be a great parent because of their wealth of experience and cannot fathom that they could experience significant health issues before the child is an adult. (Aware this can happen anyway, but far far more likely at 60 than 30).

Exactly, I know of someone who has just died whose wife fell pregnant after he had received the diagnosis of a brain tumour. His son isn’t two yet. Are they just as selfish as the 50+ parent?

He'd be 70 when the child is 13!

Much too old. I'm 68 now and the thought of having teenagers around, even at my age, horrifies me.

We did ask that 20 - 30 years ago. When we were fit and able.

It's a punch on a door number

Still don't get it.

Pun

What?

@TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne I don't think anyone quite understands the joke - even the OP 😂

Please be kidding?

The joke means being a dad to a child at house no 57 when they live at no 55.
Lame even for a dad joke.

Disagree entirely.
People can take care of themselves and still become unwell.

My dad was 47 when I was born and died aged 80 when I had just turned 34.
He got to see me get married and my first DD for 4 years of her life, but that was it and he never properly met my second child who was born 3 weeks before he died.
I am an only child and now all my mum has as she was an only child too.
I obviously am glad they had me! But they were together quite afew years before I was born and think they held off abit too long really.
He was quite old fashioned in general so to be honest felt more like a grandad figure than a dad, especially as I got older, and we weren't that close really as we were on such different pages.But he gave me a good childhood and was involved and playful.
My best friend's parents had her young and her grandad was actually a similar age to my dad! And my dad was old enough to have been her parents parent!
Crazy stuff.

I think it's not ideal....but I think its unkind and unfair to write someone off due to their age and everyone's circumstances are different.
Age doesn't make someone a good or bad dad.