Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

[WaterBed]

Apart from being desperate to crack the joke

“i really hope so - I only live at 55”

in all seriousness - I personally think it’s fine to be a Dad age 57 when your OH has a newborn. Any thoughts ?

The oldest woman to give birth was 73, so it’s entirely possible.

Sperm quality declines increasing the risk of the child having additional needs.

good point

Nope. Still don’t get it. Explain it like we are stupid.

My FIL was about that when DH was born. As a result DH spent a lot of time in his teens with his DF after he retired (and his DM was at work) and they had a good relationship. Had he had him earlier he would have been much more career focused through his childhood so it worked out well for them, there are pros and cons.

A few years ago I would have said that age it but a number. However, my mid 40’s DH is going through the heartache of his DF really deteriorating and will probably pass away in the not too distant future. My DH feels far too young to be losing his DF who is in his late 80’s. They are very close and it’s breaking my DH’s heart.

This baby would be in this situation at just turned 30. Way too young and quite cruel I think.

My dad was 52. I liked having an older dad but somehow 57 seems quite a bit older. Granted he died but everyone’s parents die eventually and I had a mother and adult siblings and sometimes parents die, even young and healthy ones. My mother’s been a long time widowed though - that’s not something I’d want for myself.

No, not really. Sorry OP.

Not a freaking chance. Recipe for disaster.

Too old no matter how young they believe they look or feel.

I remember commenting to my bloke when we got together how glad I was that we were too old for babies - he was 41 and I was 45.

There’s no point anyone advising OP he’s too old to father a child when he’s just done it! Congratulations OP! Far better to be a loving and dedicated partner and father in your 50s than all the deadbeat younger men we hear about on here so frequently. If you haven’t done so already, please marry your OH though.

No it’s far too old. The (presumably) much younger mother will end up doing the bulk of the work whilst the Dad kicks back. I mean really, who the fuck has the energy to parent small kids properly at that age? Not many I would imagine.

Truthfully I think it’s selfish and far too old.

Completey unrelated, but I went to Google this to find out more information only for a load of articles to come up about a mummified stone baby that was found in the womb of a 70 year old. 🤢🤢

But in all honesty why would you want to become pregnant at 70? My mum is 70, manages fine with my toddler for the day and is fab but she admits that she wouldn't have the energy to look after him more never mind a baby full time!

Both parents selfish IMO for putting the child in that position (Sorry!)

This. No 57 year old really looks 30s… they just like to tell themselves that.

I'm holding up my hands here - I married a man 20 yrs my senior and hoped for motherhood. It would have meant that he would have been a father at about that age, and I agonised over how it would affect future children. As it turned out, I only ever miscarried.

On the other hand, DH's daughter had a partner with the same age difference. He was, I think, 55 when he became a father again. (His first two were grown.)

He was a SAHD while the daughter worked. (She had a high earning job; he was offered redundancy/early retirement.) He prided himself on how 'young' he was.

He died of a heart attack about 9 years later. He hadn't even thought to make a will, really leaving my stepdaughter in the mire for a while: they had finally decided to get married and she'd handed in her notice, intending to have a couple of years off work.

By contrast, my late husband made his will and also organised life insurance to cover his funeral. If the dad in the OP has any sense, he has to sort out a will etc.

It’s the age when people would be grandparents rather than parents.

I can’t say I’d fancy getting child benefit and my state pension at the same time!

I'm thinking the same.
A 57 year old dad needs better Dad Jokes 😂

No I don't think it is OK. But as it's already happened, what can we do?

Parenting is physical labour. Children need to do sports and activities, go camping, ride bikes etc. Schools are more than ever reliant on parent help and input. Is a 70 year old man going to want to spend 8 hours every weekend driving the kid to football / rugby, standing for hours in all weathers, joining in with the dads tournament, carrying the gazebos at the summer fair? Is a pensioner going to have the money to put down on school trips, university fees, new phones, driving lessons?

Sorry, but I wouldn’t. I think it might turn out OK for the child if the mother is very significantly younger.

My parents were both 45 when I was born and it was hard, really hard for all of us, Dad had his first heart attack when I was seven and died when I was 18. My Mum was very disabled by arthritis and dementia by the time I was at university (I went at 21 due to failing my A levels) and couldn’t from then on take an active part in my life, she died when I was 30.

My DH is 54, same as me and his parents are fit and active 80 year olds. It absolutely amazes me how much more successful and even normal every aspect of his life has been due to his parents being younger.

Oh that's a good joke actually 👏👏👏

Our ex MP is becoming a father at 58 so we were actually discussing this the other day.

My husband and I are in our 50s but are younger than him but we were both horrified at the idea of a new born again at our age.

There's a few blokes i know who have started second families in their 50s. More than one and they become a bit broken esp if grandkids involved

I was 36 and DH was 53 when we had our DS. I guess it all depends on what he's like. My DH is very fit and has alot more energy than I do even though I'm younger. Obviously if it's a 57yo who acts like an old man and has many health issues then it's not really fair to the child or it's mother who will end up doing everything for the child. If he's fit and healthy then no it's not an issue at all