Ok yo become a Dad to a newborn at 57?

[WaterBed]

Apart from being desperate to crack the joke

“i really hope so - I only live at 55”

in all seriousness - I personally think it’s fine to be a Dad age 57 when your OH has a newborn. Any thoughts ?

Possibly. I dunno tbh but think it was unplanned

Yes but nothing. You don't even know the age of the child I'm talking about, so not sure how you know how old my own father will be when they turn 14. Just a know nothing keyboard warrior, throwing around insults when I can almost guarantee he's a better parent than you are.

I’d imagine most people would be fit, mobile and well at 60. Most 60 year olds are working! I’m 63 and go to the gym every other day. My DH is 74 and fit and well and still doing academic work - just had a book published.

Part luck but also ensuring you eat well, don't get fat and keep active.

Well that is us, disabled and chronically ill people, told then. We’re just 20% of the population afterall. But it’s all down to eating well and keeping active.
Luck is just a really small part if it. Not even worth mentioning.

Yep.
It’d be lovely if life was like this.
But news flash. It isn’t. It’s a nice dream that helps people not being too worried they might become ill/disabled just like that. No reason. Just bad luck.

I suspect she had IVF and is just keeping quiet about it which she has every right to do. If you do try to have a baby with your partner do be aware that you are more likely to take ages to concieve and miscarry. Just talking from experience!

I only know one, she was pushing 40 and desperate for a 'last' baby (had two adult children), him in his late 50's. They had that last baby and he is looking at having to work way past his capability (physical job) to pay, she has gone into full on menopause and has stopped working because it's playing havoc with her health. The poor child is mostly parented by his adult siblings.

Sh sorry to hear that ! ❤️

So by the time you're pregnant (which won't be instantaneous, no matter how much you want it), he'll be 58 or older?

I hope for your sake he's a millionaire.

'Being able to go running etc… is not a question if ‘mental attitude’. It’s pure luck and privilege.'

Partly true but I am about 4st heavier than at my racing weight and have had loads of injuries. The mental part is what stops you giving up. There are people my age still running good times so I'm not really setting a high bar to do a bit of jogging with my kid.
If you couldn't run most could still cycle or swim. It more about the willingness to do things. My old coach said a lot of athletes are actually lazy. They train hard then that's it for the day. That is definitely me but I just enjoy playing with my kids and make the effort. Taking them to school marking homework reading at night - some people at any age never bother

So on average you may be right but its down to the individual. So may people have less than ideal circumstances to bring up their kids age is just one of many factors

Increased paternal age does increase risk of ASD in children.

Also I have an older dad and was bullied for it. Also habe to worry from a young age about a parent dying or needing care.

I wouldn't subject my child to that.

Better to have an old, good dad than a dad of age who’s not committed and a loser.

my kids dads are double my age. Ones 50 with newborn. Other is 60 with 7 year old. Great dads. Really happy. Kids are happy. People judge too much. Deffo not gross. Men can produce good sperm till they die for a reason. Women can’t reproduce when old for a reason.

enjoy your life xx

I would only consider it if you would be wealthy enough to afford a comfortable lifestyle if he retires, becomes unwell or dies before your (potential) child is 18. You also need to think about how you could manage financially and practically if you have a child with SEN or other disabilities, as the risks increase with age.

Well, no. They don't produce good quality sperm into old age. The sperm quality declines from the age of around 35. So a 57 year old has had declining sperm quality for 22 years. That's really quite significant.

Do you have very young children living with you? I think the lack of sleep that comes with having a baby could make a huge difference to how you would age into your 60s or 70s.

I had DD when I was 35 and DH was 50. I have always been the high earner (City lawyer) and he has a big chunk of money from the property market, so no money concerns, and he is fit and active, so far better placed to be an active father than someone with a physical disability. We can also provide much better opportunities than someone scraping by on benefits and DD frankly has a happier life than children in that situation. I think our choices are significantly less selfish than those of people who have children they can't afford to support properly in financial or practical terms.

im stating facts. Men can reproduce till death. Women can’t. For a reason! Some men at 30 have crap sperm that’s no good and some 60 year olds would have better. Live and let live!!!!

Just because they can doesn’t mean they should

Appalling idea. That's a grandpa's age, not a dad's. Unlikely to see the child marry or have their own children. There's no benefit whatsoever to a child having a parent that old, it's purely a selfish decision on the father's part.

It’s a selfish decision to have a child at 30 to parents who can’t afford it. Have crap home lives etc etc. if the older dad is switched on. Healthy. Happy. Full of life experience got lots of money to leave why not???????? I prefer to have a great dad for a short time rather than a crap dad for a long time

With IVF some women can they can, so by your logic, why not? Would you agree that they should be able to?

They dont HAVE to accept it, but that's why I think it's selfish, stupid and largely ego driven.

Also my grandad had a child at 60. She is now 25. He is 85. He’s doing great. She gave him a big lease of life. They’ve travelled the world together. They love each other so much and are so close. She is very proud of her old dad and she keeps him going and feeling young!
now someone say something to that ???????????

I ticked YANBU because you can do whatever you want really. However, I think you’d be nuts to even consider it. You should be on the wind down to retirement, not doing night feeds!

So you're basically saying fathers don't matter, that it's fine for a man to bring a child into the world in his 80s and it doesn't matter that he can't care or provide for it, or the impact on the child? Do men have no responsibility in your world?

Also, you are wrong anyway, as many men get ED as they got older and their sperm count falls, so no, most men can naturally impregnant a woman when they're elderly.

I didn’t say any of that did I. You’ve twisted everything. Absolutely everything. Not good.

My dad was 50 when I was born. I suspect I have ADHD and possibly autism. Dad died when I was 17. I have also read that daughters of older fathers have an increased risk of having children with autism.