Is this a thing on the bus now in London?

[IrritatedEarthling]

I'm in London for work this week, I don't live there. I'm visibly pregnant (shouldn't make a difference to this story)

I went to the bus stop to wait for the bus, it was only five minutes' wait (hooray, London!)

I stood near to the bus stop sign, rather than sitting inside the shelter. Whilst I was waiting, some other women - three of them - arrived separately with some small children. They looked about 5-7 years old. I realised that they were nannies as the children were addressing them by their Christian names, rather than "Mummy". The ladies knew each other as they chatted together.

One lady stood close to me.

A bus arrived, and someone got off and walked away, and as I didn't get on it, it now became clear that I was waiting for the only other bus that visits the stop.

As the bus arrived, the lady near me stepped ahead of me to get on the bus. It's hard to describe, but i had thought I was in the "getting on" position, and I had my payment hels out in my hand. The other two ladies approached too, stepping ahead of me. However as I was first, I- without pushing, touching or glaring, stepped ahead of lady number 2.

I was thinking, well I was here first.

But I heard her say to my back, "Really?!" as though I was very rude. I got on and the priority seat had been taken by lady number one, so I went and sat a few seats back.

Was I rude? Are you supposed to give priority to people with children? I do have a child of my own aged 4 and when I was with him in the evening yesterday nobody let us cut in front, and neither did I expect it.

What should I have done? How does the queue system for a bus work now in London?

Going to work on the bus almost 25 yrs ago I was barged out of the way - literally shoulder-checked and elbowed - by a woman who squeezed kind of past and under me to take the seat I was about to sit in. I was 8.5 mths (so very, very obviously) pregnant and could have cried, I was that exhausted - just too tired also to start a ruck on the bus over a seat. Never forgotten it, or her weaselly face as she stared in the opposite direction all the way to Regent Street.

There have always been bus arseholes. Ditto tube arseholes, train arseholes, escalator arseholes. They may have multiplied these days though - they’ve probably found each other and bred, unfortunately.

"As the bus arrived, the lady near me stepped ahead of me to get on the bus. It's hard to describe, but i had thought I was in the "getting on" position, and I had my payment hels out in my hand. The other two ladies approached too, stepping ahead of me. However as I was first, I- without pushing, touching or glaring, stepped ahead of lady number 2."

Basically, wherever you were standing, 3 people (with children) had the time and the space to get between you and the bus. As far they were concerned you were just dawdling around in the background. In their accepted system of etiquette they had every right to get between you and and the bus in the space you were leaving unused, but after they had done that, you shouldnt (in their eyes) have pushed past them.

In a quieter situation everyone might well have noted you were there first and stood back and said "after you", but not in a big city.

If you want to avoid it in future when the bus approaches, step right up to the edge of the pavement where the doors are likely to be. Or, just let others get on first.

I was in London a few months ago and I was actually amazed at the number of people on the tube who offered their seat to my young toddler.

Op, I don't live in London so I don't know what is standard there but I'd like to think it was just a one off experience.

"You're supposed to queue"

Are you though? Where does it say that or tell you to? This is an unspoken assumption, not a rule that the bus company puts in place. It you were "supposed" to queue there would be signs telling you to.

I'm not saying it's OK to cut in front of a pregnant woman and people should have some common courtesy - but there is no rule.

Live in London; haven’t noticed it but maybe I am used to it; don’t think about it

They were wrong to push in and it's good you stepped ahead of the others, but I would have used my words and said 'I was here first'.

There is a whiff of 'how dare these upstart nannies...' in your post.

No one gives a shit anymore. I thought we’d all worked that out. I have to get a bus on a Saturday and there’s no queuing system. You just arrange yourself in a swarm and kind of move forward in a pack.

It's understandable though, little things like this can really niggle.

Yeah the queuing doesn't work as most stops serve multiple bus routes so you've no idea who's waiting for which bus.

I live in London and see people always give priority to pregnant people on the bus. At least they do where I live (South East London). Sorry you had this experience. Perhaps they didn’t notice you were pregnant and assumed children had priority.

Sorry, pregnant WOMEN! No idea why I put pregnant people lol!

Well we used to queue back when people were polite, there are pictures of people forming an orderly queue in the 1950s to get on the bus.

You have to move faster or stand closer to the road to be first on the bus in London. No such thing as an orderly queue. You all got on, all got a seat, nobody was pushed or told off. It's a total non issue.

I think you are getting a hard time here OP. Some of the replies are unbelievably and unnecessarily snarky.

If I get to the bus stop first and sit at the shelter. Then someone comes along and stands at the sign. I will still get up and go to the front as I was there first.

I live in London and I think it was just those women.

Buses don’t always stop in a consistent place, so often the person who ends up nearest the doors when they open isn’t the person who got there/ moved into place/ stood up first.

People vaguely let each other on in the order they were waiting if it’s clear (where I live anyway) but it’s not always obvious. If it’s a very busy area people get a bit more shovey!

I feel you are massively overthinking this. I have lived in London as well as other capital cities. I can see how from both your perspectives, what the other did was rude. They thought you were pushing through and cutting into their group to get ahead, and you thought they were jumping queue. I would move on with my life.

I live in London and people queue and/ or are respectful to the order in which people were waiting. Don’t overthink it though.

London is not country they don't have a queuing system you get on the bus. When I moved to country 20 years ago I couldn't believe they queued out here.

So many teenagers put their feet on the seats....they even pretzel themselves into uncomfortable looking positions to do so, it's bizarre and infuriating to see. I have to force myself to not look again, when they're not doing that they're blasting music from their phones, people are getting ruder 😔

There is a significant portion of people in London who do not understand UK social norms of queuing and/or have no interest in learning, and another cohort who know but don't care.

A lot of people are very rude, and the number is growing.

The good news is that good manners are a social advantage that cost absolutely no money. If you instill them in your children you are giving them a huge leg-up generally (as the postage through life is made easier and more pleasant) and into places where they still very much matter (which generally includes the upper end of well-paying professions). They are already becoming more prized as they become less common than they were.

Those without them tend to be quietly penalised for it in all sorts of subtle ways they will likely never grasp. Hold on to that next time someone shows this sort of rudeness!

I lived in South London Norbury for a couple of years. I couldn't even get on the bus and it was always packed at a particular time. I used to walk I couldn't be bothered with waiting and trying to get on the bus.

Tbh I usually try to avoid cutting into groups as I feel it's quite rude. But I can also see why OP cut if the other was dawdling. There's no point ranting and stewing without trying to see the other's perspective. I think a better approach would be to live and let live instead of always assuming you're somehow always socially superior.

OK. But it's not the 1950's.

I generally take note of who was at the bus stop before me and let them get on first, or if I’m the first have no qualms about stepping ahead of people if it looks like they are going to try and push ahead of me. I always let pregnant/elderly/disabled people have my seat, but I don’t get up for children with the exception of babes in arms where the parent is going to struggle with only one arm free.