Is this a thing on the bus now in London?

[IrritatedEarthling]

I'm in London for work this week, I don't live there. I'm visibly pregnant (shouldn't make a difference to this story)

I went to the bus stop to wait for the bus, it was only five minutes' wait (hooray, London!)

I stood near to the bus stop sign, rather than sitting inside the shelter. Whilst I was waiting, some other women - three of them - arrived separately with some small children. They looked about 5-7 years old. I realised that they were nannies as the children were addressing them by their Christian names, rather than "Mummy". The ladies knew each other as they chatted together.

One lady stood close to me.

A bus arrived, and someone got off and walked away, and as I didn't get on it, it now became clear that I was waiting for the only other bus that visits the stop.

As the bus arrived, the lady near me stepped ahead of me to get on the bus. It's hard to describe, but i had thought I was in the "getting on" position, and I had my payment hels out in my hand. The other two ladies approached too, stepping ahead of me. However as I was first, I- without pushing, touching or glaring, stepped ahead of lady number 2.

I was thinking, well I was here first.

But I heard her say to my back, "Really?!" as though I was very rude. I got on and the priority seat had been taken by lady number one, so I went and sat a few seats back.

Was I rude? Are you supposed to give priority to people with children? I do have a child of my own aged 4 and when I was with him in the evening yesterday nobody let us cut in front, and neither did I expect it.

What should I have done? How does the queue system for a bus work now in London?

Not to me, but on munsnet, people pick apart what you say. I gave all the information upfront.

Lived in London since I was 21 (now 44), there has never really been any queuing for the buses, people just get on any which way and it’s def got a ‘every person for themselves’ vibe if the bus is quite full so potentially not all those waiting can get on. No one thanks the driver when you get off either!

They might need to be all together in a professional group. I dunno.

This is why I hate London. And most bigger cities. The ‘I’m more important than you’ attitude a lot of people seem to have.

Agree you're overthinking the scenario. I take buses many times every day in London. Sometimes people get on in a fairly chilled manner. Sometimes there are silly tits who are rude and go ahead.

For those saying that it's every person for themselves or a scrum on London transport, you're really not correct. It's incredibly orderly for a big city.

When the woman said ‘Really?’ You should’ve turned around and said yes, I’ve been stood here before you even arrived. Silly cow. Her, not you op.

It is everyone for themselves and priority seats are only observed if there are no other seats available and someone who needs one gets on. Even then they have to be visibly collapsing or ask for a seat. To be fair on Londoners a vast number of people use public transport and a significant number of people need a seat, so it is easier to wait for people to ask rather than trying to work it out and risk offending someone.

of course they don’t need to be

Well you didn’t tell us what you had for breakfast

What? 🤣

You’re pregnant?

I predict a LOT of “school gate mums” drama threads from you Op in the coming years!

What everyone is saying is not true! I've lived all over London for my whole life, including now. We do queue, it's not just that formal. Where you were standing does sound about right for prime position. Most people would accept that you were first, especially as you got there first. Sometimes you have to kind of walk towards the bus actually stops to stay first, but your waiting position was fine. I think you've just encountered some ruse people.

Op, you should have asked if she was talking to you and if she said yes, you should've said you were there first. I find calling these people out works best.

You can't really queue these days - my stop has five different busses that stop there so we just all mill around keeping a look out to see what's coming next, then go forward or step back, as appropriate!

I find most people are considerate on London Transport - although there are some selfish idiots around.

There is no specific queue system, they’re busy bus stops. It’s whoever is closest to the door gets on first.

but usually people let the elderly or children get on first and generally get on in an orderly manner.

I agree it isn’t a scrum but most people are pretty much on autopilot and just keep moving. I prefer it that way but it isn’t for everyone.

Not just London, seems to be everywhere tbh.

For future reference: I lived in London when I was pregnant, and I did find that people often offered me a seat anyway, so it didn’t matter what order we got on the bus. If there wasn’t a seat/offer of a seat, I would politely ask someone, usually a young man, for their seat. They always got up immediately and graciously.

There is one bus queue left in London. There are 2 bus stops outside Waterloo station with about 10 buses stopping there. There is always an orderly, old fashioned bus queue for the number 59 bus in the morning. Can't work out why. How is it that orderly queuing has been disappeared except for that one bus?

This.

And any queuing system usually falls to pieces because most stops serve multiple routes and the busses can end up stopping much further back or forwards from the stand because another one got there first.

My experience of being pregnant in London was the posher the area = the less likely anyone gave me their seat/ helped with the buggy.

Exactly this. I’ll start out polite but my main priority is getting on and off busy public transport and I’ll employ elbows out if needed (it’s clear others are not being polite).

It’s just every man for himself, and if you are dithering people won’t be patient, they’ll just move.

I think it’s getting worse though, trying to get off the tube can be quite difficult as people force their way in before letting anyone off.

I’ve wondered if it’s because it’s such a mix of cultures / tourists, everyone’s not abiding by the UK’s usual queuing obsession. And a whole lot of people just anxious about using the transport system - always several of those per carriage.

@OuterSpaceCadet thank you. I didn't mention the poshness of the area!

But yes, posh area, however these ladies being nannies rather than the mums, they wouldn't (I presume) be that posh themselves?

I guess their profession is relevant in that way...

You're still overthinking this 🤷‍♀️

Perhaps you're overreading it. There are simpler threads to read.