Is this a thing on the bus now in London?

[IrritatedEarthling]

I'm in London for work this week, I don't live there. I'm visibly pregnant (shouldn't make a difference to this story)

I went to the bus stop to wait for the bus, it was only five minutes' wait (hooray, London!)

I stood near to the bus stop sign, rather than sitting inside the shelter. Whilst I was waiting, some other women - three of them - arrived separately with some small children. They looked about 5-7 years old. I realised that they were nannies as the children were addressing them by their Christian names, rather than "Mummy". The ladies knew each other as they chatted together.

One lady stood close to me.

A bus arrived, and someone got off and walked away, and as I didn't get on it, it now became clear that I was waiting for the only other bus that visits the stop.

As the bus arrived, the lady near me stepped ahead of me to get on the bus. It's hard to describe, but i had thought I was in the "getting on" position, and I had my payment hels out in my hand. The other two ladies approached too, stepping ahead of me. However as I was first, I- without pushing, touching or glaring, stepped ahead of lady number 2.

I was thinking, well I was here first.

But I heard her say to my back, "Really?!" as though I was very rude. I got on and the priority seat had been taken by lady number one, so I went and sat a few seats back.

Was I rude? Are you supposed to give priority to people with children? I do have a child of my own aged 4 and when I was with him in the evening yesterday nobody let us cut in front, and neither did I expect it.

What should I have done? How does the queue system for a bus work now in London?

Nothing to do with kids. I live in London and sometimes people do take no notice and just barge on. Other times people are really polite and will stand back. You were just unlucky.

Definitely. Those of us who are used to the transport tend to queue or at least allow those who might bd more in need of a seat on first, but I think there are so many tourists or newcomers who are distracyed /stressed finding their way that it turns into a scrum sometimes.

I've recently noticed the not letting passengers off the tube first thing, seems to be a new thing, and it makes me furious. Also, in my 50 years in London we've always had a Keep Left rule in tube stations, but I noticed recdntly Green Park is telling people to Keep Right. Sign of the times...

Exactly! They should have respected the fact you were nearer the bus stop/where the bus would stop, very rude.

Tube though is every woman for herself although you respect whoever is nearer the doors (once it's clear where they end up)

I live in zone 2, have mostly found people usher me on with the buggy (and similarly when visibly pregnant) even when I wasn't there first, but occasionally people push in front if I was there first. So long as people are sensible about the priority seating (and buggy space) there's not usually an issue. Different if the bus may not be able to let everyone on.

No not normal. I’ve always been treated with total consideration on london buses especially when pregnant. The experiences I’ve had of people being aggressive, randomly rude, entitled etc have all been outside of cities in the UK.

I think it is a capital city thing rather than a specifically London thing.

Although I do remember one time in deepest southern France we had to get a particular local train to make our connection back to Paris. It arrived and itnwas tiny and already packed to the gills. Being awful Londoners inatinct kicked in and we quickly mobilised and squeezed outselves on, only to turn around and see a queue of outraged French people standing in our wake. 🫣

Me too
tube too

No queuing in London. Everyone for themselves. Have you used the tube!

Op seems to be catching a lot of flack for a harmless post, if you don’t like it there’s no need to comment? 🤷🏻‍♀️
I would have wondered the same as you op if there is an etiquette I was missing, reading these replies sounds like people were just being cheeky and you’ll have to be a bit more assertive next time.

I find people queue at some bus stops in London and not others. Even on the same route, it’s stop dependent. No elbows out at for me.

You say it was obvious you were waiting but if they were a group chatting and had kids they probably didn’t notice you until you stepped in front of them/broke up their group. I would tend to let people who are there together, board together and wouldn’t pay too much attention to who was there first unless it was busy and not everyone was going to get on/get a seat.

Taking this at face value, I’d also say that if you want the priority seat you can just ask for it. Also that just because you are pregnant doesn’t automatically mean that others will realise that you are or assume that as a result you want the seat.

If someone has obvious mobility difficulties people will usually jump up if they are not deep in their phone, but otherwise they may hang back a bit for lots of reasons including not wanting to give offence/cause a row by making assumptions. Some people are just dicks, but usually if you ask for the seat someone will find a seat for you.

People conducting small children also know that they need to crack on because the bus driver is not going to wait while everyone gets settled and other passengers won’t cut them any slack either. They know it’s a hard job to get a group of children on and find places for them in the time available, and that’s probably why the group tried to push on first.

The ‘really’ comment shows she thought it was you who had pushed in.

Nevertheless, what’s this got to do with the whole of Londons 10 million people?

I can see you’ve tried to dramatise it up with the ‘Nannie’s’ but what a long overly detailed OP about nothing.

I do think it varies day by day. Sometimes I’m queuing for the bus and everyone politely gets on in the right order or lets older people on first and all very civil and other times it is a bit of a scrum. In your situation of course you should have been let on first by the ladies, as you were first and pregnant

I think it mostly does depend on how busy the bus is as people worry about waiting for another one so every man for himself. My daughter from about 11-15 would wait for a bus for school and sometimes when busy, grown adults would basically shove her out of the way to get on board and then the bus would then be full and the driver would shut the door on her and drive off. I think bus company got tired of complaints when that happened!

It's impossible in London to have the kind of queue that you find in small towns or cities. It's not unusual for people at the bus stop to be waiting for four or five different buses. You don't know which the others are waiting for until the a bus arrives, at which point the group wanting that bus all approach it together, while the others step back.

A line isn't practical in that situation.

It's my last day of work, so I won't need to post any further threads, boring or otherwise.

Ah yes, people famously stop posting on Mumsnet when they go on mat leave.

Just a quick reminder that in the UK we say "queue", not "line"

<runs away>

I'm in the 'proper Londoners know how to queue' camp. And I also loved the comment about the queues at the London Waterloo bus stops - they can be epic, but so orderly.

There's no queuing for a London bus, at least not where I live. Your bus comes, you move forward to get on.

I'm not bothered by what order people arrived at the bus stop (and therefore the queue) unless the bus I'm trying to board is very busy. In which case I'll stand tall in my 5ft 2in and get my elbows out.

Sorry haven't RTFT, no one waits to see who was there before them, how would that realistically work? Then you'd have to actively remember the order of people which is dumb. You just wait til the bus comes then form an orderly queue, and nice people would let a pregnant/old/disabled etc person go first. Or my pet peeve, everyone forms a queue well ahead of bus arriving.

It's a busy city and you get jostled, London or many others.

I lived in London for quite a few years though I wasn't born there and didn't grow up there. I still go there quite often now. For buses there is only the vaguest idea of a queue system. The very banal "incident" you describe in so much detail is so perfectly normal that it wouldn't register on my radar.

The tube is even worse at rush hour. Crowded, with the rush on and off each train as it gets in. If you expect to queue to get on there you'll just never make it. You soon learn that one. People mostly do let others get off first, but there's no actual queue to get on. You just do it.

There’s no queuing for buses in London anymore just getting on. I obviously let people on before me who look to be struggling, but not everyone does. It’s every man and woman for themselves. Didn’t use to be actually, but I’m not sure when it changed.

YANBU - but people are twats these days. The amount of rows I have had over who gets the buggy space!! I always go by who was waiting first. But hardly anyone else does… Provided there is no wheelchair user of course.

One couple with a pram once arrived 20 mins after me at the bus stop. I had waited ages due to a gap in the service.

I was on my own, with a baby and an older child. They had one baby. And they expected to get on the bus before me!! If there had only been one space they would have taken it. I ripped them a new one and they told me I was unreasonable because “we both got on in the end” but they had no intention of giving me that space had the other one been full. There’s just twats everywhere sadly.

My favourite game is also positioning myself in the way of pushy people so that older people can get on first. They hate that 🤣

I’d say around 15 years ago, having been taking buses for 30+ years 🤣 I don’t drive so I’m on them a lot…

London standard priority is wheelchairs and sticks, then pregnant and anyone looking frail or holding toddlers/ babies, then order of arrival. Worth remembering though that these days over 40% of people in London are not actually from UK and not all countries have queueing systems, so it is getting steadily more haphazard, and it's also noticeable that lots of teenagers haven't been taught the general rules. It's nice to stick with tradition by queueing, giving priority, shouting "thank you driver" on exit etc, but not worth getting worked up about those who don't.