Is this a thing on the bus now in London?

[IrritatedEarthling]

I'm in London for work this week, I don't live there. I'm visibly pregnant (shouldn't make a difference to this story)

I went to the bus stop to wait for the bus, it was only five minutes' wait (hooray, London!)

I stood near to the bus stop sign, rather than sitting inside the shelter. Whilst I was waiting, some other women - three of them - arrived separately with some small children. They looked about 5-7 years old. I realised that they were nannies as the children were addressing them by their Christian names, rather than "Mummy". The ladies knew each other as they chatted together.

One lady stood close to me.

A bus arrived, and someone got off and walked away, and as I didn't get on it, it now became clear that I was waiting for the only other bus that visits the stop.

As the bus arrived, the lady near me stepped ahead of me to get on the bus. It's hard to describe, but i had thought I was in the "getting on" position, and I had my payment hels out in my hand. The other two ladies approached too, stepping ahead of me. However as I was first, I- without pushing, touching or glaring, stepped ahead of lady number 2.

I was thinking, well I was here first.

But I heard her say to my back, "Really?!" as though I was very rude. I got on and the priority seat had been taken by lady number one, so I went and sat a few seats back.

Was I rude? Are you supposed to give priority to people with children? I do have a child of my own aged 4 and when I was with him in the evening yesterday nobody let us cut in front, and neither did I expect it.

What should I have done? How does the queue system for a bus work now in London?

Unfortunately, London transport and roads is every man/woman for him/herself.
My father in law drives from the west country to see us a few times a year, we live in london. He says the aggression on the roads is crazy. I don't think we notice it being londoners.
I mean, taking the bus, you're lucky to not get embroyled in a gang fight, have a weird man grope you, get told to fuck off by a drunk oaf or be barged onto the floor pregnant or not.
My nephew (14) was punched in the face by a woman on the bus a few weeks ago, becuase apparently he looked at her the wrong way.

I'd have said, "Yes, REALLY, I'm heavily pregnant and I was here before either you or your friend who just pushed in front of me and took the priority seat."

Kids, eh! I was on a bus last week which broke down and we all had to get off and get the next one (being in London that meant waiting 3 mins). Our bus was already busy, with loads of boys from the boys grammar and private school on board. When the new bus turned up, these kids pushed in and took all the seats. Even I, as a seasoned London bus user, was pretty appalled.

I think the nanny addition adds interest… I can just visualise the prim Norland nanny in her beige uniform with a crisp white collar and nifty hat suddenly elbowing lots of people so she can get onto the bus first.

London is gone in more ways than one.

I live in central London and it's not really efficient to queue. All the bus stops serve at least 4-6 different routes and the buses pull up inconsistently (sometimes right next to the stop sign, sometimes up near the front of the shelter. Nobody knows who is queueing for which bus and I've seen people politely step back for someone else who was there first, but that person didn't actually want that bus so they didn't signal to the driver to stop, and the bus just passed by. If you want to get on a bus you need to get in a clear position for the driver to see you and signal in plenty of time, and if you hold back behind others they won't see you.
People aren't going to notice if someone else hasn't got on a bus and then assume they must be waiting for the next one, especially if they have fussy children to deal with. People just want everyone to board as quickly as possible and the bus to get on with its journey, and having people hold back and discussing who should board first just slows everything down.

In the outer zones where life is a bit quieter and fewer bus routes and fewer people waiting, I do notice more queuing. It does seem to slow things down a bit as you often get people hesitating and insisting others go first.

Stop slagging off London ! we are not savages. !
I generally find that people show usual manners , I always allow older people on first as a curtesy and people with kids as they have more to juggle and need time getting a young one settled than I do, I frequently find that school kids with allow me to go first politely
it only gets pushy at rush hour or when seats are limited

the general rule if all people equal at the stop is who ever got their first gets on first but I’d not push in front to assert that certainly not in front a a person with a pram

I do think that defaulting to good manners is socially superior.

And as nigh on everyone prefers to be treated with good manners by others, it will continue to be an advantage to those who display them over those who don't.

The way they’re trained, I reckon that if you armed the Norland student body, you could probably stage a fairly efficient coup. And if you implanted something in the brains of all Norland nannies at graduation, and activated them all at one go, you could have a shot at taking over the world, Manchurian Candidate-style.

London has always been the wild west. At least that was my experience as somebody who moved their for the first time 20 years ago. Also some people don’t pay attention to their surroundings. And some people do expect you prioritise their children.

I just ignore them.

Exactly this. It is really annoying when people stop to let other people on as it holds things up, people just want to get on with their day. It isn’t rudeness. Get on the bus and if you need a seat then ask for it.

This, especially around here. At least 5 different buses use the same shopping-area stop I use, so ‘proper’ queueing is not possible.

My main peeves however are people on crowded buses who dump their bag on the adjacent seat and have to be asked to move it.

Ditto apparently able bodied people (nearly always very young women I’m afraid to say) who plonk themselves in the disabled/elderly seats and then are, or pretending to be, so engrossed in their phones that they don’t notice people who are in much more need of those seats, having to stand.

And no, I don’t believe for a moment that they all have hidden disabilities.

I thought there was going to be a lot more to this after the first gripping paragraphs. Don’t ever write a book OP.

No but I'm giving you an example genius.

Pointless engaging further with someone who no doubt participates in the decline of society themselves by the sound of it.....

I would say there's not really a queue, but it would be rude to step in front of someone who is clearly intending to get on the bus and is closer to the door than you. You've got to move though, you can't hang around expecting people to queue behind you because they won't.

Some people are so bloody entitled but the British are generally good at queuing …….not like some other countries!
You did right to reclaim you place in line and had she said ‘really’ to me I would have had to remind her that I was there first.
Good luck with the pregnancy OP .

Exactly. The bus stop I use most serves about eight bus routes. How would I know who is waiting for a particular bus? Your bus arrives, you get up, walk towards it and get on, whether you just arrived at the stop or have been waiting.

Outer London, we queue. Inner London people stand around the bus stop and when it arrives it’s every person for themselves. Being visibly pregnant people should be considerate, they’re just not.

I voted unreasonable because you used the term 'Christian names'.

Goodness, yes, heaven forbid the OP use her own language containing references to her own culture.

Going home from work once I had to stand behind two people who were literally saying to each other, after you, no after you, no after you. Bloody hell I wanted to do the equivalent of Rachel slamming Ross’s phone down!

People of all ages are equally rude. I’ve seen school kids push to the front when I’m the first person at the stop and I’ve seen elderly people push to the front when I’m the first person there. I don’t know exact what changed but we always used to wait in a queue. Nobody does anymore. People just push to the front which has the knock on effect of making the ones who usually wait think stuff it, I’m doing it too if nobody else gives a toss why should I?

Don't live in London but i will always let those who were there before me get on first, its a struggle as I'm disabled but you just have to push in to get your place. school kids are the worst, they crowd around the bus doors when it arrives completely ignoring the usual etiquette of let people off before you get on. I've been knocked off my feet a few times by them and needing to hold the handle to get off the bus, sometimes i can't get to it.

@TheFluffyTwo, OP made no reference to the culture or heritage of the people. I work in a team of four. One is a Christian, one is not a Christian but is openly (but not obtrusively) religious, one is not religious (probably agnostic) and the other one hasn't said anything to indicate that they have or haven't Faith. The Christian doesn't have a name that is obviously from the Bible, but the others do.

But yes, posh area, however these ladies being nannies rather than the mums, they wouldn't (I presume) be that posh themselves?

Why wouldn't the nannies be posh? What a strange comment.

I guess their profession is relevant in that way...

It really isn't, and you sound snobby @IrritatedEarthling