What are your unpopular opinions that most mumsnetters don’t agree with?

[Rosebush1245]

Curious to know what opinions you see constantly on mumsnet that you think “Am I the only person that disagrees with that!?”

oh dear... to all of it. To your last point, you basically have just said that money will solve everything. But when somebody has money, somebody else doesn't. It is a 'closed system'.

But yes, on Coldplay, I do think the songwriting is good, just wish they had a cooler frontman with an outstanding arena level voice.

Women stay in what seem like unsatisfactory relationships with men for all sorts of reasons that may not make sense to others but may make sense to them.

MN has probably been helpful to a lot of women over the years in pointing out that they don't need to accept shit treatment, and raising awareness of abusive behavior. However, some posters seem to think this means they should take pleasure in deriding women who are in less than perfect relationships and suggesting their worth as a human being is determined by the treatment they accept from a man. No it isn't. And talking about 'bars' being too low is simplistic nonsense, especially where children are involved. Leaving a relationship means weighing up a lot of costs and benefits, and it's unlikely these will be obvious from a paragraph on an anonymous forum.

Sometimes kids don’t have issues with food (ARFID etc) and need ‘safe foods’ - sometimes they’re brats and their parents can’t be bothered with the hassle, so give in to them only wanting chicken nuggets and chips.
Please note that I’ve said “sometimes” but I’m still fully expecting someone to report this post!

Agree! More than once I’ve seen ‘safeguarding issue’ being used in relation to a 16 or 17 year old (no SEN or disabilities). I mean they could just leave home at that age and nobody could do anything about it. Of course you should still be parenting but it’s not the same as having an actual child when they’re that age.

Agreed. Kinda seems like an open house for pedos 🤢

Also AuDHD with 2 ND teens. I cringe when I hear grown adults calling themselves "PDAers", especially in a work setting. It's fucking hard enough when you're autistic navigating the messy world of workplace politics and managing people without having to walk on eggshells in case you "trigger someone's PDA" by asking them politely to do something that's a part of their job that they signed a contract to do.

I am pretty sure that most autistic and AuDHD folks have a high need for control/autonomy and hate jumping through meaningless hoops that we don't understand the need for, and I'm happy to own that. But hiding behind the "PDA" pseudo nonsense, for adults who do not have any co-occurring learning disabilities, is basically code for laziness and/or not wanting to do anything they dislike.

2 Talk about Gaza or 'genocide' is mostly virtue signalling and performative. Similarly, the reason people bang on about Israel rather than Hamas surrendering is racism of low expectations, ie you can't expect the Palestinians to do the right thing.

Personally I think if your children are dying, just tap the fuck out and surrender. You don't fight to the death or the last man standing because Israel will accept your terms. Instead do right by your own people and accept defeat.

That a marriage not being perfect is not necessarily a reason to leave

That Hamas must have known that their monstrous attack would provoke this sort if response

That ‘genuine’ trans women do deserve some consideration (although not at the expense of the rights of women and girls)

Having siblings is a positive thing for most children.

A lot of parenting boundaries can simply be ignored or abolished if they're causing difficulties. Like sitting at table to eat every night - it's fine to eat on a picnic blanket in the living-room.

The most important thing is to love and hug your children and, if you're burnt out, lower your standards until you're in a place where you can do that, even if it means not cleaning the house, letting them watch too much TV and feeding them beige crap. Fix it when you can, but if you're feeling like you're going to explode, turn the TV on, hand them a bowl of popcorn, smile fakely and retreat for a bit.

The best thing for children's social skills and physical development is to spend loads of unstructured playtime in communal playgrounds playing with a range of different kids with minimal adult supervision. It's the closest thing many kids have to "playing out" nowadays. Many middle class parents are missing a trick by prioritising organised activities over their kids grubbing about in playgrounds.

I've learned to keep my mouth shut but a few are:

I think OW/OM are as culpable as a cheating partner

That someone saying "you must be a man" is not the immense insult it's used as, for balance I've also been called a man hater too so I must be doing something right to be so balanced in my obvious pure hatred of humanity in general😆

I think you can disagree about a subject respectfully without resorting to insults

That kids over 18 need to pay something towards the household and find a job. Also that it's their home but it's not their house, they get a vote, they do not get a veto.

That children should have no say in your romantic life unless you or your partner are being an arsehole to them

That egg sandwiches are fucking great

That there is no such thing as a introvert or an extrovert, we are all ambiverts

That you can share a table or a bench in public

These threads just encourage silly hyperbole with a very nasty side to it. People laughably insisting that there are multiple threads in which people cease contact with family members 'at the drop of a hat', or in which everyone on a thread tells someone to LTB because he sneezed etc.

Not to mention the hilarious contributions from people who genuinely think they don't share opinions with 'most people', including the person who rarely thinks the same as anyone at all wow huzzah for the Truth Teller! What an amazingly original mind we have in our midst! 😂

I think it should be ok to express anger and contempt for the “other woman” who broke up your marriage but when I did so, and when others have done so on here they tend to get a harsh dressing down for it.

That JKR is right.

My own DD is no longer speaking to me because of it. She basically said that I change my beliefs or she wants nothing to do with me.

Oh also putting me at odds here- I don’t have an issue with blended families and don’t think they are problematic / inherently toxic.

But then I have a big extended blended family and love it!

I agree.

If she knew he was in a relationship and went there anyway then she is as scummy as he is and its not "hating the wrong person" to be angry with her. You can loathe two people simultaneaously!

My ‘unpopular’ mn opinions (as in im pretty sure they go against the general grain here) are-

VAT on private schools isn’t some big tragedy

Different styles of home decor can look good, a little new-build full of bits from B&M and The Range can look beautiful and cosy. A house doesn’t have to have ‘original features, floor boards and piles of books everywhere’ to be considered nice.

Baby names associated with working-class people are not grim/vile/awful/dreadful

Most parents with SEN children are doing their very best given their situation, including those whose kids are disruptive at school/only eat chicken nuggets/have more screen time than the recommended amount. Posters who judge these parents cannot be confident they would do a better job in the same circumstances.

Lower grade boundaries for state-school educated children to attend Oxbridge are a brilliant thing.

Being over-invested and micromanaging your teenager is not healthy or beneficial.

The breast fed army get on my nut. Of course it’s good for a baby, but never at the price of a mothers mental health.

Trans women are women
Trans men are men

Posts about "noisy neighbours" when it turns out the "noise" is people using the stairs in their own home, or using their garden, or just talking amongst themselves. Or other normal stuff. The OP and lots of the comments will all insist that THEY are generating no noise (their toddler is the quietest; their walking the softest; their voices the most melodic; their dog the most well behaved) - it's always the neighbours making noise and annoying them with their existing and living in their home.

ETA: Pressed submit too soon. I maintain that all of those peeps make the exact same amount of (normal) noise as their neighbours, but they're oblivious to it.

Loving your step kids like your own and having a happy blended family where all the adults communicate like…adults, is possible.

Being a SAHM is a risk, it’s not an entitlement, and women who take no interest in the household finances until they catch DH cheating are very naive. We should always be able to support ourselves and our children.

That it's possible to raise happy, successful and well behaved children without ever using punishment.

That children's opinions about stuff are as important as adults' opinions (though they may not always be as well informed).

That when you get married, your husband's family becomes your family and vice versa.

There is nothing wrong with single mothers dating.

I would go further and say I am glad they do for purely selfish reasons. It means unlike my friends - whose mothers waited to they were adults to divorce and who, due to still be single become an emotional burden - I know my step-dad is playing that role and so I never have to worry about my mom.

That both parents shouldn’t work full time, and similarly:

That babies and toddlers shouldn’t be in nursery all day.

An £80K salary is high. You might not have a private jet, but even with the extra tax you pay, you cannot compare your circumstances to a person on minimum wage.

Agreed. Unless you have large debts (apart from a mortgage), then you're not poor. If you're struggling, then you're almost certainly living beyond your means, often because you're so used to living in an expensive area and having certain luxuries that you see these as essentials.

My unpopular opinions:

For children under the age of two or three, a good empathetic childminder is usually a better option than a nursery. Babies and toddlers benefit emotionally from having a consistent caregiver they can bond with.

Putting up your Christmas decorations in November and taking them down on Boxing Day makes you look as though you don't know your Advent from your Epiphany.

Most vegetarians and vegans aren't preachy or attention-seeking. If their existence makes you feel angry, then that's probably due to your own insecurities.

That the Boomers DID have it good!

OK not all made money on property, or did well financially etc. But the fact that a man on a factory wage could house and support his whole family on that wage is nothing short of amazing. My parents bought their first house, a three bed semi on my fathers wage from working in a factory. An identical house on the same road is currently for sale and DD and her DP couldnt afford itdespite earning almost £100k between them, we are in the Midlands.