Page 9 | What are your unpopular opinions that most mumsnetters don’t agree with?

Rosebush1245 · 2025-05-21T19:01:09+00:00

Curious to know what opinions you see constantly on mumsnet that you think “Am I the only person that disagrees with that!?”

PassOnThat · 21/05/2025 23:48

Another one - a lot of parents are doing a great job raising children nowadays in a society that has given them a raw deal economically and is really quite toxic and isolating. When people go on about how parents nowadays are doing a poor job, I think to myself "But as a society, we've really let children and families down and tbh I think most parents are doing a much better job then we deserve".

Our society is driven by greed and the values it is based on are absolutely crap, and yet most parents are still trying to raise their children to be decent people. It's more than we deserve, given how selfish and unpleasant a lot of people are.

SapphOhNo · 21/05/2025 23:52

Some kids are just dicks

Trans people exist, are valid and deserving of support.

Some women put up with too much from their DH/OH and it gets to a point where they are accountable for their own suffering.

Child free weddings are preferable.

blacksantanapkin · 21/05/2025 23:52

PassOnThat · 21/05/2025 23:30

Having siblings is a positive thing for most children.

A lot of parenting boundaries can simply be ignored or abolished if they're causing difficulties. Like sitting at table to eat every night - it's fine to eat on a picnic blanket in the living-room.

The most important thing is to love and hug your children and, if you're burnt out, lower your standards until you're in a place where you can do that, even if it means not cleaning the house, letting them watch too much TV and feeding them beige crap. Fix it when you can, but if you're feeling like you're going to explode, turn the TV on, hand them a bowl of popcorn, smile fakely and retreat for a bit.

The best thing for children's social skills and physical development is to spend loads of unstructured playtime in communal playgrounds playing with a range of different kids with minimal adult supervision. It's the closest thing many kids have to "playing out" nowadays. Many middle class parents are missing a trick by prioritising organised activities over their kids grubbing about in playgrounds.

Edited

Agree with all of these!

Plenty of children (including mine) still ‘play out’ when the weathers nice but I always see MN posts along the lines of ‘oh gosh no I don’t let them just roam about’ under estimating how beneficial it is, not everything has to be micromanaged structured activities.

Judgejudysno1fan · 21/05/2025 23:54

wastingtimeonhere · 21/05/2025 21:40

My contribution-
Close families are usually dysfunctional.
Once adult 'children' should fly the nest. A 30yr old at home is a failure to launch, even if it's a shared house, they will be more adult.
Dummies should be disposed of once a child can walk and talk ditto breast feeding.
Most 'MIL ' issues are DIL issues, a bad DIL will become a bad MIL..
School days should be longer as children get older.
School is childcare these days unless we are prepared to support SAHM both practically and financially.

Some kids walk as early at 7-9m. What about them?

Hwi · 21/05/2025 23:55

CrocsNotDocs · 21/05/2025 21:51

A significant minority of ADHD/LDs cases in middle class children are actually FASD.

Spot on

blacksantanapkin · 21/05/2025 23:59

I understand and agree with some of the concerns regarding trans ideology, however a good deal of the discussions on MN regarding it are just plain hateful and bigoted

UrbanMonstrosity · 22/05/2025 00:00

That it’s mostly hard work and some luck that leads to success. (And not just luck which seems to be a popular mn opinion)

CeaselesslyIntoThePast · 22/05/2025 00:00

Men are terrible for cheating but as a woman your affair is entirely understandable. No it’s not.
Society does not care as much about the trans conversation as you are led to believe on MN. It’s obsessive and misleading.

Hwi · 22/05/2025 00:01

sprigatito · 21/05/2025 21:58

I think childfree weddings are tacky and narcissistic.

I think mass, poor quality childcare for very young children is a ticking time bomb and is driving the crisis in child mental health

I think it’s really fucking weird that as a society we cherish and idolise children until they hit their teens, then suddenly turn on them and treat them like the enemy. Seeing MNers tell each other to throw out/cut off their distressed and vulnerable young adult children disgusts me.

Bravo!

Hwi · 22/05/2025 00:02

WhoKnowsTheyKnow · 21/05/2025 21:58

It’s ok to be a second homeowner, even in Cornwall.

You don’t really love animals if you eat them.

Blended families are mostly crap for children, and often the step parent too.

Food noise is a load of bollocks.

Spot on!

PassOnThat · 22/05/2025 00:04

blacksantanapkin · 21/05/2025 23:52

Agree with all of these!

Plenty of children (including mine) still ‘play out’ when the weathers nice but I always see MN posts along the lines of ‘oh gosh no I don’t let them just roam about’ under estimating how beneficial it is, not everything has to be micromanaged structured activities.

Show quote history

Exactly. I see a lot of "We would go to the playground more often if it weren't for dance/tennis/extra tuition. Shame we just don't have the time".

In our house, playground time is prioritised and other activities have to fit in around it. My older DC drops a club in the summer term to give extra time during the week to go to the playground in the good weather.

zaxxon · 22/05/2025 00:06

That gentle parenting can actually be quite good for kids

That JK Rowling, clever though she is, is acting like a real dick nowadays

That M and S clothes are mostly ugly

That your "boundaries" only apply to what you allow yourself to do or be done to you, not to what other people do, even if what they do affects you

That most people on here are so scared of being judged negatively that they're driven to post a constant stream of self-justification

FairPlayer274 · 22/05/2025 00:14

Longtimeloiterer · 21/05/2025 21:03

I'm of the contentious belief that there's no need to breast feed once your child has teeth.

And that it's downright ignorant to let your kids scream in the back garden.

Children get teeth at like, a couple months old though, don’t they? (I’m trying to remember how old mine was when her teeth came in… all I remember is it hurt!)😖

FairPlayer274 · 22/05/2025 00:18

MrDobbs · 21/05/2025 21:16

It's not a crime if your cousin's husband's sister's second best friend chooses the same name for their baby as you.

People who were raised with strict discipline from their parents aren't any more resilient or considerate or polite as adults as a result.

Cats shitting in your garden where your children play is not something to celebrate.

A full day's work in a high pressure job is easier mentally than a full day looking after a 4 year old and 2 year old on your own.

People are celebrating cats shitting in their garden ?!?

Cattenberg · 22/05/2025 00:19

UrbanMonstrosity · 22/05/2025 00:00

That it’s mostly hard work and some luck that leads to success. (And not just luck which seems to be a popular mn opinion)

I dunno. It's perfectly possible to work very hard all your life in a low-paid manual job and never earn much. You might well be promoted to manager or supervisor, but that can mean more hours and responsibility for not much more pay.

On the other hand, if you're born into privilege, you'll often get a leg-up into your dream career. And if at first you don't succeed, your parents can often afford to fund further attempts.

EdithBond · 22/05/2025 00:20

heymammy · 21/05/2025 20:28

I have two that I already know go against the grain ;)

By the age of 16 our DC are not actual children anymore.
School - non uniform works it really does.

100%

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 22/05/2025 00:23

😄 I was gonna post this thread

Mines one I've posted about a few times

Once your child turns 18 and goes off to uni etc, you don't have to 'return to work' if you were a sahm, you carry on taking care of the house.

I've been ripped about it but I stand by it

Cattenberg · 22/05/2025 00:23

Non-uniform wouldn't have worked at our secondary school. The judgement and bitching during non-uniform days was awful.

elfendom · 22/05/2025 00:27

@TheMel Personally I think if your children are dying, just tap the fuck out and surrender. You don't fight to the death or the last man standing because Israel will accept your terms. Instead do right by your own people and accept defeat.

Glad I don't know you in real life. I hope you'd also fall on your sword when defending yourself as a human in everyday scenarios and accept defeat. Bet you wouldn't though, would you, far too important to yourself? Got to be hands down the most ignorant comment I've seen on here for a long, long time. Let's all just tap out when somebody bigger and richer and 'better' comes along. That is what you are saying.

XWKD · 22/05/2025 00:28

If someone doesn't like cats, it doesn't mean they want to crucify kittens for fun.

Iloveagoodnap · 22/05/2025 00:29

Sometimes poor parenting, or poor tolerance of normal childhood behaviour, can lead to a child’s diagnosis of ND.

If you are a fully functioning member of society then you don’t need to get a diagnosis of ND as an adult. Accept your quirks and get on with your life.

SixtySomething · 22/05/2025 00:30

I find it shocking the way MN posters will say with such certainty LTB when OPs relationship is in a difficult place. I wonder whether many of the posters are very young and lacking in life experience.

pictoosh · 22/05/2025 00:30

Quite often it's the DIL and not the MIL.

There are some whiney, spoiled, selfish DILs out there. They post here.

BeJollyEagle · 22/05/2025 00:31

mumofoneAlonebutokay · 22/05/2025 00:23

😄 I was gonna post this thread

Mines one I've posted about a few times

Once your child turns 18 and goes off to uni etc, you don't have to 'return to work' if you were a sahm, you carry on taking care of the house.

I've been ripped about it but I stand by it

SAHM for 18 years? What you do all day when the 18 year old is at sixthform or college? Most 17 yr olds start driving then.

FairPlayer274 · 22/05/2025 00:32

Ruggerlass · 21/05/2025 21:58

Rape, abusive relationships, medical reasons either health of mother or unborn baby. Voluntarily having sex and accidentally getting pregnant is not a valid reason in my opinion.

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Having gotten accidentally pregnant is a poor reason to have a child. Children should be planned, wanted, and have parents who are well prepared to care for them.