What are your unpopular opinions that most mumsnetters don’t agree with?

[Rosebush1245]

Curious to know what opinions you see constantly on mumsnet that you think “Am I the only person that disagrees with that!?”

You absolutely don’t. You don’t care about children who might be raised in an abusive or neglectful home because they were the result of an unwanted pregnancy and you don’t care about the thousands of children already in care in awful situations - you’d like to add to that number. Honestly, saying you believe in birth above all else, above a living, breathing child’s quality of life is one of the sickest things I’ve heard.

Women who got married & had children very young (late teens-early 20s) and gush about their husbands being their "best friend", "soulmate" or "love of their life" are actually victims of early life trauma and cripplingly low self esteem. They brainwash themselves into believing that they have their happy ending and will defend their partner to death regardless of how lazy, useless or abusive he actually is.

That the vast majority of posters, ever so righteously deriding 2nd homes, expensive handbags, Range Rovers, luxury holidays, private education, 5* hotels, etc. .....

Are. Just. Envious.

Absolutely on the DH thing.

And actually you have reminded me with another - over use of string language to make a point and catastrophising. Or self diagnosing.

For example (and not true for those legitimately who have these things)….It isn’t a migraine it’s a headache. The person is selfish not a narcissist. It’s not PTSD you just didn’t like something. It isn’t OCD you just like things clean. You aren’t triggered you just don’t like dealing with that thing. You aren’t clinically depressed you are just down. Etc etc

If you can afford to pay for private treatment but refuse to do so because you expect it for free on the NHS then you are the pinnacle of greed, selfishness and entitlement.

Totally with you re a few germs won't kill you. The levels of abject terror of germs on Mumsnet threads bemuses me. (I haven't read the sock one but I'm assuming that person would have to change their socks if they needed the loo in the night, because shock horror, the socks would have touched the FLOOR! 😱 )I mean, each to their own but personally I think people invest so much unnecessary worry into these things.

People who think the Welsh, Scottish, or Irish are dramatically different to the English - more hospitable, more poetic, more accepting - are deluded, and probably the type of people who have no personality beyond ‘being from [place]’.

Another two; hens 'weekend's instead of Hens Nights. And destination weddings. I'd never associate with people who do either/both of those.

That's bonkers. I can afford for £80 private GP appointment and £500 for a scan, but what if I needed cancer treatment which is going to costs hundreds of thousands of pounds? The only people who can afford that are the mega rich (millionaires) and trust me they all go private anyway!

I can only imagine. You have my sympathy.

Yeah I see what you are saying but I don’t quite agree. I think professionals in the field are qualified to talk about behaviour and very close family members who spend a lot of time with SEN kids know.

i agree with all these!

You always see people on here planning to ban visits with their newborn for about a month. Just why??

you do you, lucky you to have money to handover.

I agree on the whole.

I had to gave my gallbladder out a couple of years back. We were just coming out of covid and there was a lot if talk about long delays for routine surgery. My brother, who is far better off than me, offered to pay for it. However, my point was if say 10 people are on the waiting list for the same surgery, the NHS has to fund 10 gallbladder surgeries. If I had taken him up in his offer, they would only gave to fund 9 and may do this forever in the hope many go private. As it was, the waiting list wasn't too bad, especially as by that stage my gallbladder was fit to bursting with stones so I was prioritised.

OTOH, I got into a fierce argument with my husband's friend once. My late mother had severe back pain. It turned out she had a trapped nerve needing surgery. The NHS had her on a long waiting list for an MRI, which she had to have before going on the waiting list for surgery. She had a fair amount of savings and we encouraged her to go private as she was in such severe pain. My husband's friend was horrified by this and said she was creating a 2 tier system whereby money could improve her health and she should have waited her turn. I was like "really, you'd watch your mum suffer for your own principles?" Plus she freed up a place on the waiting list for an NHS appointment! To me it was selfish to see her suffer so that she could leave her savings to ger children after her death!

Mine is that it is rude to invite people to a (typical — not 3 or 4 people) wedding without a plus one

Fair comment, I read the beginning of your post a bit too quickly. But I do disagree that we should be 'grateful' for the NHS, for the very reason that we do all pay into it. Glad, appreciative, thankful to be in a country that has a public healthcare system and not a shitshow system like the US has? - absolutely. But 'grateful', to me anyway, implies some sort of forelock-tugging obsequiousness which tbh some clinicians seem to be starting to expect, and it's eroding our rights as users of the service imo. The system is under massive stress and I agree with you that certain things can't or shouldn't reasonably be asked of it, but I do feel we are slowly being browbeaten into thinking we aren't entitled to question, push or complain because 'gratitude'. And that can be disastrous for people's outcomes where serious illness is concerned.

But many of the judgemental posts argue that professionals don’t know their stuff and are misdiagnosing children as autistic when they are just a bit naughty 🙄

As a mum with a SEN child I have done autism-specific parenting courses etc that focus on behaviour management. The experts leading these courses have always been of the opinion that autistic children often don’t respond to the normal ‘firm boundaries’ ‘rules and consequences’ and other techniques that work easily with NT kids. They also don’t seem to hold the belief that challenging behaviour from disabled children is down to ‘lazy parenting’- I value their opinion more than those who have zero experience of SEN.

The tri-partite system had grammar schools for the more academic, secondary modern schools for the less academic and the technical schools for those with technical skills. The grammar school succeeded in what they were set up to do, to give children like me from working class families the chance to 'get on' but they were destroyed for that success. Rather than improving the secondary modern schools the government chose to force the comprehensive system in which everyone had to follow an academic curriculum that does suit over 50%. The technical schools sadly never took off at all yet people are now crying out for technical skills and want vocational colleges.

I’m not disagreeing with what you are saying but I don’t think you have to have SEN kids to understand them. As I said very close family members can understand to. And some professionals do have great knowledge about it (agreed not all) and can have SEN kids too.

Yes absolutely these two.

Yes, yes, yes and yes

That instituting "checks" on biological gender is going to be an absolute nightmare for everyone, is not going to make female-only spaces safer and will only serve to piss everybody off.

I've been with my husband since I was 18 had children early to mid 20s now In our 50s I /we have no trauma wtaf are you going on about !

It never used to be a nightmare last century and even up to 15 years ago. So why is it now?

No but similarly having close relatives who are children doesn’t really give you a true insight into what it’s like to actually be a parent and raise them. The same goes for people who have been around a Sen but not actually experienced parenting- it’s not really the same.

Definitely agree that experts in the field are pretty knowledgable though, and they generally go very much against the grain of ‘lazy parenting causes autism’ IME