What are your unpopular opinions that most mumsnetters don’t agree with?

[Rosebush1245]

Curious to know what opinions you see constantly on mumsnet that you think “Am I the only person that disagrees with that!?”

After the periods have stopped is post menopause. The period (pardon the pun!) you are describing is all just the menopause. The 'peri' prefix is a get rich quick scheme for the likes of Davina McCall and also a lot of pseudo scientific snake oil salesmen grifters.

Do you think women just have periods that dont change and then one month they have just stopped and that's that. There's no changes in the run up to them stopping.

There are changes. That period of change is called 'the menopause'.

It's not an excuse but it can be a reason for extremely challenging behaviour, it's a massive spectrum which sometimes people don't acknowledge.

I thought the menopause was when you have had 12 months with no period and the lead up to that 12 months was perimenopause.

The completely unnecessary hygiene levels.
Changing bedding and towels once a fortnight is perfectly adequate, unless maybe these clean queens are wiping their arses on said towels..?
Beds once a week in hot weather, admittedly.
The horror at the water in a toilet bowl - it's the same water that comes out of the taps. If you clean your toilet, the water in it is perfectly safe to touch, although washing hands afterwards is recommended.
Not putting loo seat down - "your toothbrush is then covered in shit!" Well, if it is then it's tasteless and has no germs in, as I'm very healthy.
And the WASTE. Washing towels every day, binning cleaning cloths rather than washing them every few days until they fall apart.
It all makes me very glad to live IRL and not on MN.

Actually you are wrong. I spent thousands of pounds seeing some of the very best consultant gynaecologists in the UK, so know far more about the menopause than I ever wished to.

If you are under 50 and haven't had a period for 2 years then you are considered to be 'in the menopause' and this state of 'menopausal' is considered permanent.

If you are over 50 and haven't had a period in over 12 months then you are considered to be 'in the menopause' and, again, that's that s state of 'menopausal' is considered permanent.

There are outliers, obviously, but for 99% of women this is the medical criteria.

The twelve months with no period is post menopause/end of menopause. The periods tailing off is menopause, and it doesn't always last for years and years, either.

• I am completely anti-smacking, but if you're going to smack your kid you really shouldn't smack them on the bum, especially if you make them pull their pants down and bend over your lap. It's humiliating in a way that feels 'dirty' and the secretiveness of it being an area that's not seen feels inherently wrong too. If you think hitting as a punishment is acceptable, just hit them in the face like you would if you were choosing to hit an adult. The idea that 'just' a smack on the bum is better is really odd.

• People idealise the times back when people 'had a village'. You don't get a village who just does whatever you want, who is ok with not visiting the baby for 2 weeks then coming around to clean your bathroom and not holding the child. You get a village who expects to have a say in disciplining your child when they're with them and gives unsolicited advice. Choose one - either is fine - but you can't expect both.

• The vast majority of dogs are awfully behaved these days and the way people have started using their dogs as substitute children is really bad for dogs. I'm not a 'put them in a kennel outside' person, and I always used to consider myself a dog-lover, but in the last 5-10 years something really weird has happened with dog ownership. I think it's a perfectly valid choice not to have a child and fine to have loads of dogs instead, but dogs really are not children and that's ok. Well-trained dogs are happy dogs and you can still love them and they're still part of the family. They're still animals though. Not humans.

• Behaviour in schools has got worse in the last decade or so, and not just in the normal way that people who quote Plato talking about children disrespecting their elders say. I think screens and a culture that a child should be a passive and endlessly entertained consumer who is never bored, is a big part of it.

• The internet itself is not the issue but algorithms, misinformation and lack of critical thinking are. Science and objective data is no longer respected more than a nameless Facebook post. Looking in a book is no longer the accepted way to settle an argument. We all have different facts. We're all in our own echo chambers. The more we engage, the more the algorithm isolates us to see more of the same. Everyone's opinions become more solidified and in the cases of extremism, is very dangerous. It's made worse by the fact that it's human nature to look and pay attention to things that make you sad or scared. I wish I'd trained my algorithm to show me only knitting patterns and light observational comedy posts but instead I've accidentally trained it to show me the things that make me the most disheartened about the state of the world.

I don't really get how that contradicts what I said. The idea that I object to is the one that I see on here a lot, which is that all women over forty odd are existing in a permanent state of brain fog, ill temper, and pain. That isn't true for me, nor has it been for any of my friends, nor was it true for my mother and older relatives.

Please see my above post about the menopause.

The peri-menopause can last many years and covers the time when a woman's periods start to fluctuate in intensity and duration. She might also experience a whole plethora of symptoms, now connected to her (fluctuating) menstrual cycle, that weren't present before.

That if you “gentle parent”; breast feed for years; co sleep; and don’t toilet train before they are 3 you are well on the way to having a child that won’t be capable of independent living at 18.
And, I have toilet brushes.

The self flagellation, piousness and martyrdom on some threads baffles me.

Including but not limited to:

Never ever telling even the smallest fib
2 glasses of wine a week = alcoholic
Obsessions with all things cleanliness
Pearl clutching at any sexual/blue humour
Accidentally taking something and not being able to return it = STEALING
NEVER eating anything anyone has made at home due to germs

My unpopular opinion is a lot of MN users must be very dull and hard to live with

It's no use accepting 'velcro babies, 'naptrappers' and babies who 'refuse' to be put down and they wonder why they are poor sleepers. That's on you.

Yes I'm from the UK. But honestly in this scenario I honestly don't know. I totally understand both sides of the argument and why a termination is necessary.

This is why my point was about the majority of cases (where the sexual act was consensual and the pregnancy is not a health risk)

It doesn’t matter what “value” an embryo has- it is inside the body of a woman, and dependent on her body to survive and develop. You, me, the government, anyone and everyone else, has fuck all business telling any woman what she has to do with her own goddam body.her body is not yours. Not public property. Her body, her choice. End of. No ifs no buts. Thats all there is to it.

OMG this. 100% this. Between that and the misandry, I'm really glad that I'm not friends with a lot of mumsnetters.

If you don’t have children with SEN you’re in no position to comment on or judge those who do. It is the exact same energy as people who don’t have children saying ‘oh we won’t be doing that, we’ll be doing this that and the other’ and trying to give advice despite having no experience with babies or children

How do you explain trans men, then? Are they all just 'fetishists' as well?

If you have children and the relationship with the other parent has broken down then you should focus on the children you have and adjusting to a different life and not immediately go on meet a new partner. In the first year at least free time should be spent in counselling, working on yourself, self care etc, not dating.

And no one needs to have children with loads of other partners. Two people max. Having children with multiple people is not done in the best interests of the children you already have. It’s disruptive and chaotic.

But if some time has passed and you feel ready to meet someone then it’s fine to date. You don’t have to be single and celibate for ever. And it’s not “desperate” to do so! 🙄 But you have to accept that any relationship/sexual needs you have simply may not be met for several years. No one should be introducing multiple people to their children.

I’ve been a single parent for 4.5 years.

Those who are renting either can’t afford a home and all of the maintenance costs that come along with it, or don’t want to own one. Landlords are not “depriving” anyone of owning a home; they make it so that people can actually leave their parents’ homes and live like adults without having everything you need to be a functional homeowner.

Renting out houses isn’t as passive of an income as people think— there’s sourcing and vetting tenants, the maintenance, evicting if it needs to be done, and restoration between tenants. It’s work, and that’s why it profits. If it wasn’t work then why wouldn’t everyone do it?

Plus, if you did away with landlords, the government would just become the landlord, and then the gen pop would have significantly less control of the housing market.

No this person is vehemently anti trans. It’s not pro women. If she was pro women she would be more concerned with other women’s issues but she is not. All of her work is around trans people not being real.

Would you prefer to see more children in care then?

Tell that to the thousands of kids waiting to be adopted.

It’s a medical term. People capitalize on ignorance of medical terms all the time. Look at the grifters who will tell you that PCOS makes it impossible to lose weight (spoiler: it doesn’t) in order to sell you some supplement or diet or medication. That doesn’t make PCOS not real