To be in a different room to my kids

[Pinksundress]

Kids are four and a half and (nearly) two

by 6 I’ve had enough of them (I know!)

Four year old goes in the shower. I can see and hear her. She likes playing in there.

Two year old I pop in the spare room and watches CBeebies on the TV in there. And I sit in my room.

I feel a bit mean sometimes like I should be interacting with them but … Anyway I guess I’m wondering if I’m BU?

Needing space is fine. Leaving a 4 year old in the shower alone not fine in my opinion.

No you cannot leave a 4 year old unattended in the shower or a 2 year old.

Parenting is tough but neglect is not the answer,

Your four year old takes a shower by herself because you’ve had enough of them by 6pm?

I do say I can see and hear her.

I do similar. You know your 2 year old, mine can play by themselves easily. And a 4yo in the shower is fine, some independence in between washing hair etc if they still need your help

From another room? Don’t be silly.

At 4 they should be in arms reach in water.

I think we might be at cross purposes as to ‘takes a shower by herself.’ I’m not in the bathroom with her but the door is open and I can see her. When it’s time to get out I help her wash and dry of course. I’m not sure what people think can happen in a shower. I’m not being provocative, I’m genuinely wondering!

She said she can see and hear her child though?

As long as you can see and hear them, and be in easy reach of them, then having a few minutes on your own isn’t really an issue out of a whole day? It’s hardly going to be more than a few minutes if you’re running a shower.

Except she’s not 6.

Well - yes, you can see into rooms from other rooms.

I think you ought to seek some respite to recharge.

Kids are exhausting but I think putting a 4 year old in the shower and a 1 year old in a separate room alone is probably a reflection of burn out on your part.

I have a 5 and 1 year old and sometimes leave them together in a room (not in water) whilst I pop out for 5 minutes max with baby gates and strict instructions to 5 year old to yell if anything happens!

I can see and hear mine from another room, it depends on your house layout surely?

Personally I don’t leave them in the shower as they hate showers (love a bath though), and my husband does all the bath times so I get some peace and quiet then!

It sounds pretty sad for your 2 yr old to just be watching tv alone but I’ve done it too when exhausted. How long are you leaving her for and what’s the rest of the nighttime routine like? Is there something else you could do that’s healthier for her but still gives you a break? Like reading books together in your room?

I find if I stay with the little one she just climbs all over me constantly and wants to play but if I leave her then she quietly watches TV for a bit. Not sure why!

It’s the upstairs and Dd1 is in the en suite bathroom and the door is open to my bedroom so I can see her clearly. There’s then a swap when DD1 comes out and gets in her pyjamas and DD2 has a bath. I just find that twenty minutes or so very peaceful!

She can slip and hurt herself, obviously

I’m honestly surprised someone’s said this - if you are in one of our bedrooms upstairs you can see into pretty much all of them if the doors are open. I suppose it obviously depends on the layout of your house.

She could but then she could do that whether I’m in the room or not. It’s literally never happened and I am only a few steps away so I’m not sure the technical difference between my sitting on my bed where I can see her or the toilet (only place to sit in the bathroom!) is huge.

So 2 year old is in a separate room doing goodness knows what and 4 year old is doing their own shower! I was bathing my DC at that age and sitting immediately next to the bath. YABVU.

It’s a strange thing to post about. Do you have enough support IRL?

Accidents can happen really quickly in a wet shower (not my first time at that rodeo, albeit your 4-year-old probably isn’t showering after a glass of wine) that one, no. Playing in another room within eye and earshot, fine.

You say literally never happened but she’s 4 so hopefully she’s not been showing alone for years. You don’t seem to agree with anyone who thinks you should be in a room with them so I’m not sure why you asked. Hopefully this thread has reassured you you are happy with your choice anyway

Well, I can’t really be in the room with both of them! I’m just surprised the four year old is the one people have been surprised at; it’s the two year old I felt I probably should have had in the room with me!

Needing time to yourself is fine but what you're doing isn't. They're both far too young.

It's because the 4 year old is in the shower ....

it's only a short number of years they need such close attention, you'll get this time back eventually.