To be in a different room to my kids

[Pinksundress]

Kids are four and a half and (nearly) two

by 6 I’ve had enough of them (I know!)

Four year old goes in the shower. I can see and hear her. She likes playing in there.

Two year old I pop in the spare room and watches CBeebies on the TV in there. And I sit in my room.

I feel a bit mean sometimes like I should be interacting with them but … Anyway I guess I’m wondering if I’m BU?

Lol how is that silly? How'd you know the layout of her house? I can see the bath, toilet and shower of my bathroom when I lay on my bed with the door open and its about 6ft away

Why wouldn't she?

she doesn't say an hour. She's said 20 minutes.

Unlikely but not impossible as your previous post implied. While it is unlikely it does happen.

@Digdongdoo I don't have anxiety, I was merely explaining that it was possible.

Does it happen though? Really?

But we're not talking 6 & 4🙄 OP said 4 & 1 year old.

https://www.nationwidechildrens.org/research/areas-of-research/center-for-injury-research-and-policy/injury-topics/home-safety/bathtub-and-shower-safety

https://www.newsweek.com/boy-9-drowns-while-taking-shower-1746186

Just from a quick google 🤷‍♀️

That's pretty much the only example, ever and he was in a bath and not supervised (obviously, he was 9)... close enough to never and actually never for OPs circumstances.

I think by nine, many children need privacy and one awful tragedy in a different continent three years ago is not a reason not to grant it.

I think all the stuff about the risk of slipping in the shower and having to be in catching distance of your child is a bit bizarre. If your child rides a bike or scooter, goes to a park, stomps in puddles, goes swimming etc that all seems higher risk. My 5 yr old is constantly slipping over and it would be impossible to avoid without banning everything he enjoys.

I’d be more worried about the 1yr old. I think it’s hard when you have an older child to completely remove choking hazards. If you want to let her watch tv can you put a laptop in your bedroom? I have a nearly 3 year old and now feel comfortable with him being in a room on his own for a bit (e.g watching tv in living room while I cook) but would generally check on him quite regularly.

But I’d be inclined to rejig bedtime so you get through it quicker (like bathing together or story with youngest while oldest showers) and then have time to yourself or have a break where they watch tv earlier in the day.

I find it very hard to do bedtime in an optimal way on my own though (and I’m a single parent so get it being wearing) and nothing I have tried is perfect. I currently bath them together and let one watch tv while I do stories with the other then alternate. Occasionally tried a joint story but mostly that doesn’t work well.

Some proper drama queens on here

But the 4yo is the only one in the shower, not the 1yo.

Yes whilst the 1 year old is in another room. So if OP needs to rush off to attend to 1 year old as they may have got up to mischief, 4 year old is left unsupervised in shower.
Honestly if OP can't cope with looking after a 1 year old and a 4 year old without her needing a 20 min rest just before DC are going to go to bed, I fear for her in their teenage years!! Makes the early years look like a walk in the park I can assure you.

Eugh condescending

🙄

Why don't you put them both in the bath together, that's what i did with mine and I sat on the floor and interacted with them. It's tiring I know but those days are so precious. I miss mine being little, make the most of it, even if you are knackered xxx

I think everyone parents differently and I personally would put my little toddler in his playpen for 2 or 3 minutes if i need just to get a drink or to unwind for a second as long as they are fed and dry and they have their music on. They are hard work. Personally its up to you but I'd be worried about 4 year old slipping in the shower.
I also heard a parent accidentally scolding their child this way as the temperture settings malfunctioned or something like that. It depends on their size, maturity and how good they are on their feet. Personally though i wouldn't leave child alone in the shower till around 7. Children also mess about.
Is there any clubs you could drop the 4 year old off at or maybe someone you trust could watch them. It is normal to need a rest sometimes.

I think people are being unnecessarily mean about the shower. It's not a bath tub a child can drown in and having been a single mum of 3 it is exhausting.

4yo in shower alone is totally fine. 2 yo watching Cbeebies alone it totally fine.

Asking strangers for parenting advise is totally fine but probably not sensible as everyone is quick to judge and slow to empathise.

Parenting is exhausting you don't need to be amazing all the time the goal should be a consistently 'good enough' with moments of fantastic.

My advise, be kind to yourself and ask for advise from people who know you and your kids.

Maybe it's an en suite bathroom?

Unpopular opinion, but if its what she needs to feel ok then it's OK!!! Kids need to learn to play on there own!! Having a day playing with kids is exhausting and sometimes boring, maybe take sometime out during the day put tv on and let them watch while you do tasks or just chill, that's how I did things in the 90s no playing all day!!!!