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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda

636 replies

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 09:11

First holiday together, been dating for just under a year. We went to Garda and before hand we’d discussed the way we wanted the holiday to work.

We arrived at hotel at 3pm. He threw himself onto the bed saying “I’m knackered”. (I’ve noticed he says this a lot). I made a coffee, did some unpacking, caught up with my phone and sat on balcony for a bit. At around 5pm I said “you ready to go out?” And he laughed and said “no! We’ve only just got here!” I said “I just mean a walk?” (the lake was literally across the road from hotel). He said “oh no, can’t be arsed with that tonight, I just want food and bed”. It was 5pm!! So I said “ok, well I’m off for a walk”. He was annoyed that I was going out anyway and started sulking. I went for a walk by myself, returned at 6:30ish. He was irritable and asked where I’d been as he was starving. I said “there’s a shop just down the road.” He said “I’m on holiday, I don’t want to be doing shopping!” 🙄 we went to hotel restaurant.

Next day I woke up at 6am (always an early riser, can’t help it). I made a coffee then went out for a walk. Came back at 8amish. He’s still asleep. I got a shower, made another coffee. 10amish I woke him up and asked if he wanted a coffee. He said he did. I made him one - he fell back asleep and let it go cold. 11am - woke him to again, he asked for another coffee. I made him one - he fell asleep again. I woke him back up at 11:30 and said I wanted to head out, asked if he was coming. He asked for another coffee - I said he could make himself one as I’d made him two already that had been wasted.,he started whinging so I said “it’s almost lunch time, I’m bored and I’m going out, are you coming?” He said he just wanted to relax around the hotel today 🙄 he said he wanted to use the pool. Fine. I went out and hired a bike, spent all afternoon visiting the little towns. Got back at 5pm - he’s still in bed playing on his phone. I said “did you use the pool?” So he said “on my own? No! I was waiting for you to come back!”.

So - after this day I thought maybe a discussing was needed about tomorrow’s plans. Idea was we would get a bus to Verona. He said he was still happy to do this. Next day arrived - same scenario. Numerous cups of coffee gone cold, me sat around bored, getting on for lunch time he’s still asleep. I snapped in the end and said “are you actually going to do anything on this holiday?? I’m going to Verona at 12pm. Remember we’d said we’d set off at 10am?? Half day wasted already”. He reluctantly got up, saying it’s meant to be a holiday to relax etc etc

We got to Verona at 2pm. As soon as we got there he was nattering about food saying he’d not eaten all day 🙄 he had no interest in seeing any sights, just wanted to sit and eat.

We managed to see the museum and that was it.

The whole holiday was like this. It’s given me the ick. Lazyness. AIBU here??

OP posts:
Riverswims · 22/05/2025 16:26

If I’m around XH for any length of time he still sucks the life out of me for similar reasons
YANBU

godmum56 · 22/05/2025 16:30

comeondover · 22/05/2025 00:04

OP your post title sounds like the first line of a limerick! <misses point of thread>

scroll back a bit...p 16 onwards I think.

subliminated · 22/05/2025 16:36

EyeBogie · 22/05/2025 15:31

Yep!

Please don't shag him ever again.

A sweaty, farty, greedy, lazy, ignorant, dullard who is shit in bed.

Please look inwards as to why you have tolerated this for nearly a year.

Dont know your age - but if relevent please dont waste another minute of your precious and finite fertile days on this 'thing'

Imbusytodaysorry · 22/05/2025 16:48

EyeBogie · 22/05/2025 15:31

Yep!

what are you attracted too op ? As he sounds rubbish !

Therealjudgejudy · 22/05/2025 17:26

He sounds so boring and lazy.

Also, who the hell eats McDonalds in Italy???

The pizza there is unreal

Sharptonguedwoman · 22/05/2025 17:31

StressedLP1 · 21/05/2025 19:35

You lost me at ‘I got up at 6am’.

She did explain.

pinkyredrose · 22/05/2025 17:40

Chuck this one back Op, he sounds a right boring bastard.

Isthisit22 · 22/05/2025 17:52

Fluffypotatoe123987 · 22/05/2025 12:31

Can I ask what the weather is like. Do I need to pack jeans and a cardi ? I don't trust the weather forecast

I went in July last year and it was boiling hot day and night. No need for jacket, umbrella or anything.

Illegally18 · 22/05/2025 18:26

NewShoesForSpring · 21/05/2025 18:47

What do you do in the evenings?

Go out to restaurants, or, make dinner, or have dinner (if in hotel), and sit and read, watch films, or talk together or go for a stroll. Bliss! But I understand one would want to see and visit things and places. Just not at the beginning of the hols.

Maxorias · 22/05/2025 18:38

Agix · 21/05/2025 09:17

That's not laziness. It's a difference on energy levels and different ideas about what relaxing is.

You would sound really hard work to a lot of people who also like staying in, sleeping late, and lounging on their holiday.

I'm an early riser too, and I can't just sit around waiting/nothing to really do. But it's not laziness just because someone is different to me, and it's not fair for me to drag them about on their holiday.

My father is on the other end of the scale, and is all go go go on holiday... Does. Not. Stop. And has to drag everyone with him. It's hell, even if I am more on that side of things... He's extreme. He thinks like you, that everyone has to match his energy levels and enthusiasm else they are "wrong". Don't go on holiday with him anymore. It's an unpleasant experience.

You probably gave each other the ick on that holiday.

If OP was waking him up at 6, expecting them to be out by 7 and not back before 9pm, then I'd agree. But most people would consider it reasonable to get up before 10am. Otherwise he could just have stayed home.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 22/05/2025 19:01

We went on a trip to Lake Garda
He wanted to meet up with his father
They both loved their bed
And wanting to be fed
Honestly, shoot myself I would rather.

Flyswats · 22/05/2025 21:19

Are you both OAP's by any chance? Its just that he has a weekly haircut and is overweight and you're talking about waterproof shoes, its ringing "slightly older generation" vibes.

LillyPJ · 23/05/2025 05:22

Flyswats · 22/05/2025 21:19

Are you both OAP's by any chance? Its just that he has a weekly haircut and is overweight and you're talking about waterproof shoes, its ringing "slightly older generation" vibes.

Eating McDonald's doesn't sound typical OAP to me.

HerNeighbourTotoro · 23/05/2025 08:24

localnotail · 21/05/2025 20:57

Well, I get that - but I also get up at 6 every day for work, and having a lie in is a massive treat! Best thing is to be able to do whatever you want to do, without having to force yourself or without making holiday feel like too much like hard work. I personally much prefer to get up at 10, do whatever, have lunch, siesta, dinner at 9, late to bed ))) I could get up early if there is something planned - just not every day!

But you called OP biuncy and overactive-she may not want to lie down until 6PM every night and neither was she forcing her boyfriend to wake upat 3 am to do sightseeing, he was moaning about having to leave at 2pm!

Dangermoo · 23/05/2025 09:32

herbaceous · 22/05/2025 15:08

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda
Sightseeing? Fine dining? No - nada.
He deserves the sack
For that Verona Big Mac
Off you fuck, there's a dear, you fat farter.

😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣

WayneEyre · 23/05/2025 09:46

There once was a bloke in Fair Verona
Whose burger eating was crepulona
He drove his good lady crazy
Being greedy and lazy
And now he's sat on his own-a

ZeldaFighter · 23/05/2025 09:51

How have you not noticed this before?

What is he like on a normal workday or at weekends?

My DH is like this on holiday - he loves a poolside siesta! But he also isn't Mr Action any other time so it's not a surprise!

PS our office cleaner just went to Italy with her new boyfriend! Hope you're a different person!

ThatCyanCat · 23/05/2025 10:16

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda,
Whinging, sleeping, just made it all harder,
I went out in the light
While he just stayed on site,
And whined that it wasn't a larder.

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 23/05/2025 10:44

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda
His dull plans were not on my radar
From stuffing his face
To not keeping pace
Next time I'll invite Pedro Escobar

herbaceous · 23/05/2025 12:58

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda
I may as well go with my father
Instead of fine dining
I got junk food whining
Next time I'll go to Jakarta.

Gundogday · 23/05/2025 14:06

Anyone else on this thread just for the limericks?

JoshuaClay · 23/05/2025 14:26

Gundogday · 23/05/2025 14:06

Anyone else on this thread just for the limericks?

🤣 yes!!!

Juniperwilde · 23/05/2025 14:56

I really feel like he would prefer to holiday at an all inclusive where he can sit around and eat all day (which some people prefer) than a holiday you prefer doing.

I would have done everything the same as you (apart from getting up at 6… I wish I was an early bird! It would be 9 at the latest) aside from the making him a second cup of coffee!!
I’m glad you went off yourself and discovered places without waiting around for him and I’m glad you spoke to him and discussed things while there as well as before the holiday.

I truly don’t understand why you haven’t mentioned you’re leaving him yet? Even with describing about how he is on the weekends and making everything smell with farting etc it sounds like you’ve had enough?

If you choose to continue this relationship I can only imagine the future posts from you about living together and potentially children.

So many women on here either can’t see the warning signs, or can see the warning signs and yet still carry on hoping it gets better but you’re seeing it every weekend and on this holiday…. And all of us are voting YANBU so what are you going to do about it?

Sodthesystem · 23/05/2025 16:39

He gave me the ick in lake Garda
'Two better than one' no, it was harder.
It's the loneliest number
The trip was a bummer
A real relationship red-carder

Illegally18 · 23/05/2025 19:04

EdithBond · 21/05/2025 18:57

I agree. IMHO eating McDonalds anywhere is a nasty experience.

But in Italy, it’s sacrilege. There’s wonderful food in the cheapest of places.

Absolutely! Even if I slept all day in Italy, I'd get up for the food!

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