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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda

636 replies

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 09:11

First holiday together, been dating for just under a year. We went to Garda and before hand we’d discussed the way we wanted the holiday to work.

We arrived at hotel at 3pm. He threw himself onto the bed saying “I’m knackered”. (I’ve noticed he says this a lot). I made a coffee, did some unpacking, caught up with my phone and sat on balcony for a bit. At around 5pm I said “you ready to go out?” And he laughed and said “no! We’ve only just got here!” I said “I just mean a walk?” (the lake was literally across the road from hotel). He said “oh no, can’t be arsed with that tonight, I just want food and bed”. It was 5pm!! So I said “ok, well I’m off for a walk”. He was annoyed that I was going out anyway and started sulking. I went for a walk by myself, returned at 6:30ish. He was irritable and asked where I’d been as he was starving. I said “there’s a shop just down the road.” He said “I’m on holiday, I don’t want to be doing shopping!” 🙄 we went to hotel restaurant.

Next day I woke up at 6am (always an early riser, can’t help it). I made a coffee then went out for a walk. Came back at 8amish. He’s still asleep. I got a shower, made another coffee. 10amish I woke him up and asked if he wanted a coffee. He said he did. I made him one - he fell back asleep and let it go cold. 11am - woke him to again, he asked for another coffee. I made him one - he fell asleep again. I woke him back up at 11:30 and said I wanted to head out, asked if he was coming. He asked for another coffee - I said he could make himself one as I’d made him two already that had been wasted.,he started whinging so I said “it’s almost lunch time, I’m bored and I’m going out, are you coming?” He said he just wanted to relax around the hotel today 🙄 he said he wanted to use the pool. Fine. I went out and hired a bike, spent all afternoon visiting the little towns. Got back at 5pm - he’s still in bed playing on his phone. I said “did you use the pool?” So he said “on my own? No! I was waiting for you to come back!”.

So - after this day I thought maybe a discussing was needed about tomorrow’s plans. Idea was we would get a bus to Verona. He said he was still happy to do this. Next day arrived - same scenario. Numerous cups of coffee gone cold, me sat around bored, getting on for lunch time he’s still asleep. I snapped in the end and said “are you actually going to do anything on this holiday?? I’m going to Verona at 12pm. Remember we’d said we’d set off at 10am?? Half day wasted already”. He reluctantly got up, saying it’s meant to be a holiday to relax etc etc

We got to Verona at 2pm. As soon as we got there he was nattering about food saying he’d not eaten all day 🙄 he had no interest in seeing any sights, just wanted to sit and eat.

We managed to see the museum and that was it.

The whole holiday was like this. It’s given me the ick. Lazyness. AIBU here??

OP posts:
ArtTheClown · 21/05/2025 20:54

im finishing it this weekend

I'm really happy to read this. After your posts, even I have the ick!

Purpleturtle43 · 21/05/2025 20:54

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 20:33

Yeah the weekly haircuts annoy me too but I thought I was being unreasonable about that! Good to see it irritates others too!

im finishing it this weekend

Sounds wise. Looks like the signs were there but this has brought it to the surface.

Fruitbat99 · 21/05/2025 20:56

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 19:35

Ok trying to catch up - if I miss anything please let me know:

“surely you knew what he was like before the holiday?”

We don’t live together but yes, I did see signs of it. On a Saturday he gets up at 10am and goes for a hair cut (every week!). He then comes to my house and admittedly never wants to do much unless it’s pre-planned. On a Sunday he does lie in every week and would 100% stay in bed until 2pm if I let him (I don’t let him as I don’t want him stinking my bedroom out sweating and farting and if he wants to lay in bed all day he can go home and do that. So yes I probably should have seen this coming but we had talked about the holiday so many times …

For example, I suggested it would be nice to have a short stroll on our first evening there as the lake is opposite the hotel. He said “yes definitely, once we’ve had “a bit relax” we can head back out and get our bearings”.

i told him there was a bike hire place next to the hotel, he said that was great as we can cycle to town to town. When we got there he decided the bikes were “too basic”. He used them once and after half hour said he was taking it back as it’s “ancient” and “a death trap”. (I used mine all week, still alive).

HE had suggested the trip to Verona - I was very much looking forward to it and we had planned to go to “Juliette’s balcony”. The amphitheater and the museum. By time we actually got there and he’d had his pizza slice we only had time for the museum. He moaned the whole way around it saying if we wanted to see old stuff we should have gone to Rome. He then tried rushing us out of there as he was “so hungry” and “needed a McDonald’s”.

We had planned to go to mt baldo. It was HIS idea. We got to the top with the cable car and he then decided his hayfever was too bad and he couldn’t breathe etc etc …. Again all he was bothered about was sitting and eating. I went off exploring on my own, got a video of an eagle. I came back to find him sat there sulking saying because there was no WiFi?!

He later decided that Italy is more “backwards” than he thought it would be. I’m going to Florence next year on my own. Now he has a face on about that saying we should go somewhere we’ll both enjoy. I think that’s impossible.

He does sound like a moaner. But then it does sound like he's done more than you initially said he'd done

Ayeayeaye25 · 21/05/2025 20:57

Definitely get rid he would drive me insane. But I am also wondering whether he drinks too much, has depression and or ill health issues or whether he is just totally boring lazy and unadventurous. Perhaps he would have been happier somewhere with fry ups and all day English breakfasts around every corner. I’d leave him to it.

Like you I always wake up early but unless on a city break I try and go back to bed or sleep until 7 or 8am. I would also want to be out of the room either by the pool or exploring the area by 10 or 10.30am at the latest too.

localnotail · 21/05/2025 20:57

HerNeighbourTotoro · 21/05/2025 18:46

When we holiday we always get up early and you would not believe how many beautiful sites we saw because all the lazy tourists were still in bed. I hate hitting beautiful spots when they are so overcrowded you need elbowgrease to make your way and see anything.

Well, I get that - but I also get up at 6 every day for work, and having a lie in is a massive treat! Best thing is to be able to do whatever you want to do, without having to force yourself or without making holiday feel like too much like hard work. I personally much prefer to get up at 10, do whatever, have lunch, siesta, dinner at 9, late to bed ))) I could get up early if there is something planned - just not every day!

Scorchio84 · 21/05/2025 20:59

I love lazy holidays BUT I'd be up & out if that was discussed, as much as that kills me, I'm not a natural early riser, he sounds like a melt & inconsiderate, no one needs that

SecondVerseSameAsThe1st · 21/05/2025 20:59

FKAT · 21/05/2025 19:41

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda
He scrolled all day long in the bed.
Italian guys try so much harder,
So I'm now out with Gio instead.

I love this!! 🤣😂

LoveTKO · 21/05/2025 21:00

He’s a lazy git, get rid.

bittertwisted · 21/05/2025 21:00

I like both kinds of holidays. If I’ve gone to an AI or party with my mates we are eating, drinking, sunbathing, shopping, partying

A city break or destination holiday, then I want to see it ALL

Easipeelerie · 21/05/2025 21:01

You are extremely incompatible. Get rid.

HeartyViper · 21/05/2025 21:01

Bumcake · 21/05/2025 19:46

Ahh, the Midas Crotch.

I’ve spat my coco pops out 🤣

Copasetic · 21/05/2025 21:02

I cannot stand "gives me the ick" but he sounds like someone to get rid of for sure!

godmum56 · 21/05/2025 21:02

PandorasJam · 21/05/2025 20:49

He gave me the ick in Lake Garda
Lying in bed until two
His stink really dampened my ardour
And now I shall tell him we're through

absolutely nailed it

Easipeelerie · 21/05/2025 21:06

I’m so glad you’ve said you’re getting rid. He sounds intolerable.

Iceandfire92 · 21/05/2025 21:09

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 19:40

Regarding food - I would have loved to have 3 meals a day. I liked the look of the Nutella baked stuff for breakfast. There were some lovely looking pasta restaurants and of course pizza places everywhere. He missed breakfast every day. For lunch he just wanted burgers and junk and after one evening pasta meal he declared he was sick of the Italian shit and we needed to find a steak house. We also declared that the takeaway pizza in the UK is much tastier than Italian pizza

He is an uncultured buffoon. For some reason I can imagine him looking like a typical Brit abroad and walking around Torremelinos with his shirt off, gynaecomastia on full display after necking his 10th Stella of the day.

PlacidPenelope · 21/05/2025 21:10

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 20:33

Yeah the weekly haircuts annoy me too but I thought I was being unreasonable about that! Good to see it irritates others too!

im finishing it this weekend

Wise decision.

Dangermoo · 21/05/2025 21:11

He sounds a right wuss. Did you enjoy Verona? I thought it was absolutely stunning.

Bumblebeestiltskin · 21/05/2025 21:14

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 10:31

I don’t eat much until evening. I have a cereal bar in a morning but that’s about it until evening time. This is another way we are incompatible as he’s obsessed with food and eating. It’s all he’s interested in

You sound massively incompatible! Hadn't any of this come up before? I couldn't be with someone who didn't get up till lunchtime, but equally I couldn't be with someone who only ate a cereal bar during the day.

There's nothing wrong with either of you, you're just not right for each other, clearly.

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 21:14

Omg my last post should say HE decided takeaway pizza was better from the UK, not “we”.

OP posts:
EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 21:15

Dangermoo · 21/05/2025 21:11

He sounds a right wuss. Did you enjoy Verona? I thought it was absolutely stunning.

Yea it was beautiful, the bits we managed to see. I’ll definitely go back one day

OP posts:
uuuuu · 21/05/2025 21:15

You are totally incompatible.

MuffinsAreJustCakesAtBreakfast · 21/05/2025 21:17

He just sounds so.....dull?

Crikeyalmighty · 21/05/2025 21:19

@Iceandfire92 yes we may be completely off on this - but I’m kind of getting those vibes too from the OP . Along with his regular ‘grade2’

  • lake Garda would not cut the mustard!!
LillyPJ · 21/05/2025 21:21

Dump him immediately. You have totally different views on holidays (and maybe on life). I'm like you - can't wait to explore, like getting up early, am curious about what's out there and don't want to miss anything. I've had holidays with people who just want to 'relax' (ie do nothing) and it's really frustrating.

SchoolDilemma17 · 21/05/2025 21:21

EyeBogie · 21/05/2025 10:44

Well no, I’m happy to eat lunch if the other person wants lunch but if I’m on my own I don’t bother as I don’t get hungry. I would have been happy to go out for lunch but he couldn’t even be arsed to do that - he’d get up at lunch time, start whinging about food but “couldn’t be arsed” with a sit down lunch - just wanted take-away type stuff like a McDonald’s or subway - obviously these places don’t tend to exist in Garda. He got his McDonald’s fix in Verona though 🙄

Honestly this would be the biggest dealbreaker for me. Who eats McDonald’s in Italy?! Ridiculous

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