Page 9 | To be put off a man because he was asleep during the day?

PeptoDismal · 2025-05-21T07:48:48+00:00

Been on a few dates with a bloke. He sent me a message yesterday at 2pm asking what I was upto, I returned the question and he said “I’ve just woke up lol”. At 2pm?? He’d been up in the day earlier as he’d messaged me at 10am saying he was off to shop. How lazy - don’t get me wrong I’m not bursting with energy either but I at least stay awake during the day. It’s really put me off

MimiGC · 21/05/2025 13:47

How old is he? Some older people get used an afternoon nap…

steff13 · 21/05/2025 13:47

I took an hour nap after I got off work on Monday because I had only slept about four hours the night before. I don't really think of it as a moral failing.

user65342 · 21/05/2025 13:50

It would only be a problem for me if it was indicative of a more general lack of energy or enthusiasm for things. I know people who recognise when they need to take a break before cracking on with getting stuff done, which is great and then others who are always tired with no get up and go, ever. Only you know which group he is likely to fall into.

LaLaBall · 21/05/2025 13:51

Afternoon naps are one of my devine joys in life.

FYI: I'm a 31 yro university professor.

CremeEggThief · 21/05/2025 13:55

Ooh you sound shallow and like someone who always bangs on about wasting the day, OP. You wouldn't be my cup of tea!

thetrumanshow · 21/05/2025 13:55

GoldieFish · 21/05/2025 12:12

It suggests a level of low energy that just wouldn't work for me. There's nothing objectively wrong with it, obviously, but dating someone is purely a matter of whether that person's tastes, personalities and habits suit you or not (and vice versa. I mean, I doubt a habitual napper would particularly want to date me. Neither would my friend who does ultramarathons, whose idea of a perfect weekend involves extreme running, or race events where you basically see who can keep going around a circuit the longest.)

There's a thread on here at the moment called something like 'I got the ick at lake Garda' where an OP has gone on her first holiday with her boyfriend of a year, only to discover they're completely incompatible. She wants to explore the area and go out for walks and do things. He appears baffled by this, and hostile, and wants to stay in bed. They have completely different approaches to leisure, and, probably more importantly, about exploring/being curious about the world around them. No one is wrong, but the OP has just realised this relationship isn't a goer. Part of that is on the grounds of different energy levels.

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but surely what people do the rest of the day/ night makes all the difference?

DH runs ultra-marathons, so do a few of my friends. They nap 😂

BunnyLake · 21/05/2025 13:58

ButteredRadish · 21/05/2025 09:21

Grow up! OP has every right to be put off a childish bloke who stays up late enough to sleep in until 2pm like a teenager! Yuck

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He was out at 10. Grown ups should read full OP 😁

How did you conclude that sleeping in until 2pm was a nap?

Pluvia · 21/05/2025 13:59

Check out the current Lake Garda thread, OP. Bet he's a napper. I'd say avoid.

Strangely, I managed to go nearly 40 years working in workplaces without needing an afternoon nap. I worked in large organisations with loads of men who managed to make it through the day without a lie-down. Even when I was self-employed and working from home, I didn't nap.

The world is full of knackered men who are up playing video games or watching porn till 3am. Dodge the bullet.

Pluvia · 21/05/2025 14:02

LaLaBall · 21/05/2025 13:51

Afternoon naps are one of my devine joys in life.

FYI: I'm a 31 yro university professor.

And yet you can't spell divine.

BunnyLake · 21/05/2025 14:03

CremeEggThief · 21/05/2025 13:55

Ooh you sound shallow and like someone who always bangs on about wasting the day, OP. You wouldn't be my cup of tea!

My sister’s like that. Drives me nuts, constant ants in her pants.

FizzySweetsAssorted · 21/05/2025 14:04

You are not compatible

Find someone else to go on holiday with

SapphireSeptember · 21/05/2025 14:15

ButteredRadish · 21/05/2025 09:21

Grow up! OP has every right to be put off a childish bloke who stays up late enough to sleep in until 2pm like a teenager! Yuck

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OP already said he'd been up at 10:00am because he went to the shop, so this is definitely nap territory.

ballroomblue · 21/05/2025 14:18

He's like a lion: conserving all his energy for night time.😉

whitewineandsun · 21/05/2025 14:18

Pluvia · 21/05/2025 14:02

And yet you can't spell divine.

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Did that make you feel better? How unnecessary.

WhatDaHell · 21/05/2025 14:19

I love a nap (although I find it tricky to actually sleep in the afternoon now)

Nothing wrong with that at all!

Katiesaidthat · 21/05/2025 14:26

Gosh, I slept a siesta on Sunday. I´ll just get my husband to divorce me. He must be a saint...

CloudywMeatballs · 21/05/2025 14:33

I wouldn't be put off by him sleeping during the day. Being illiterate ("I’ve just woke up") would be a dealbreaker.

MrsSunshine2b · 21/05/2025 14:34

I will never understand people who assign morality to sleeping times.

If you feel tired, you should sleep until you don't feel tired.

Unless you are neglecting other responsibilities and letting people down, there should be no rules around what time you sleep at. Being asleep at 3am is no more or less virtuous than being asleep at 3pm.

GasPanic · 21/05/2025 14:36

I had a 4 minute nap the other day.

I'm practically undateable.

phoenixrosehere · 21/05/2025 14:37

Pluvia · 21/05/2025 13:59

Check out the current Lake Garda thread, OP. Bet he's a napper. I'd say avoid.

Strangely, I managed to go nearly 40 years working in workplaces without needing an afternoon nap. I worked in large organisations with loads of men who managed to make it through the day without a lie-down. Even when I was self-employed and working from home, I didn't nap.

The world is full of knackered men who are up playing video games or watching porn till 3am. Dodge the bullet.

Could those same men be different on holiday though.

Plenty of non-nappers have no qualms about having lie-ins or drifting off while they’re on a holiday. Somehow that’s different to some.

bostonchamps · 21/05/2025 14:48

MrsSunshine2b · 21/05/2025 14:34

I will never understand people who assign morality to sleeping times.

If you feel tired, you should sleep until you don't feel tired.

Unless you are neglecting other responsibilities and letting people down, there should be no rules around what time you sleep at. Being asleep at 3am is no more or less virtuous than being asleep at 3pm.

Because if you are not awake from sunrise until sunset how will you do ALL OF THE THINGS??

This subject is, clearly, close to my heart as my DM used to make me and DB feel so guilty if we weren't out of bed at 6am on weekends, and heaven forbid we wanted a nap. Words like 'pit' 'troll' 'rotting' etc were often used, and as a result in early adulthood I made myself sick from forcing myself up at 5am on weekends even if I'd been working a 70 hour week.

RoseInBloome7 · 21/05/2025 14:51

Long time shift worker here….. I couldn’t survive without naps ! YABU

IndianaIndiana · 21/05/2025 14:51

I had a nap at 11am today! I woke up at 7am and felt unusually tired. My son was at pre school so I took advantage.

Thankfully I'm married to a lovely man who won't judge me for having a nap!

GoblinMarkets · 21/05/2025 15:00

RoseInBloome7 · 21/05/2025 14:51

Long time shift worker here….. I couldn’t survive without naps ! YABU

But naturally you do! The guy the OP is referring to isn’t a shift worker, someone recovering after a night on the tiles, parenting a baby who likes to party at 3 am, or ill, though.

CautiousLurker01 · 21/05/2025 15:01

BunnyLake · 21/05/2025 13:36

LTB 😁

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I only threaten him with that when starts snoring! A girl has to have a line somewhere!