To be put off a man because he was asleep during the day?

[PeptoDismal]

Been on a few dates with a bloke. He sent me a message yesterday at 2pm asking what I was upto, I returned the question and he said “I’ve just woke up lol”. At 2pm?? He’d been up in the day earlier as he’d messaged me at 10am saying he was off to shop. How lazy - don’t get me wrong I’m not bursting with energy either but I at least stay awake during the day. It’s really put me off

It’s funny isn’t it?!

Lots of threads about how run off their feet people are, no time for anything due to kids, husbands, work etc, and then we find out half the nation is having afternoon naps! 😂

Why does he work part time? That and the nap would put me off.

It’s really put me off

Fair enough. It wouldn't put me off as I nap most Saturdays and Sundays as I sleep poorly during the week.

Try RTFT op said he had been up earlier in the day speaking to her he hadn’t been in bed until 2pm he was just having a nap which isn’t a crime.

A daytime nap is supposed to be good for us, isn’t it.

It would turn me off. Maybe it was a one time thing, but if it's how he is, it won't change. Trust me as someone who married a guy who lied on the sofa watching tv every chance he had whilst we were dating and still goes straight from lying in bed to lying on the sofa on weekends, sometimes "napping" at 9 in the morning. Makes my skin crawl and have such the ick for my H.

Napping during the day is awesome. I highly recommend it.

I sleep during the day, quite often - I have to as I don’t have a lot of physical energy. Some people don’t. In addition, I have thyroid issues and eating almost puts me in a coma. But I work hard at my job and am not ‘lazy’.

I’d want to see what the bigger picture was before making a decision about this.

That's extreme, I'd hate that. Put itching powder on the sofa.

Also, maybe he didn’t intend to fall asleep. Have you honestly never sat down and dozed inadvertently?

So he's tired and you don't think that warrants a nap?

Well that’s quite extreme. There’s a difference between having a nap and just being awake for a bit between naps.

You can decide you don’t want to date for any reason you like but you are extremely unreasonable to judge someone for having a nap.

I fell asleep on the sofa at 4pm yesterday I’d been up since 4am
i had a sleep on Monday because I felt tired/ill and had nothing to do

he’s an adult, presumably he can plan his day to get stuff done or nap as and when he wants to.
napping doesn’t make him a bad person

Yep. And probably act sanctimonious about how early they get up/how little sleep they get. 😏

(Written from bed, straight after a very energising lunchtime power nap. How I love wfh.)

I'd love the opportunity to have a nap, but in reality I work 9-5, and I'm not very good at sitting around at doing nothing. Unless I'm at my bf's, and then we'd definitely have an afternoon nap if we felt like it.

He starts early and sometimes finishes early and has a physical job, and 90% of the care of his teenage dd. So he often sits down and drops off..... I don't see it as a red flag at all.

How part time is he? Is it an everyday thing? That would annoy me a bit, but it doesn't affect you really. Maybe a nap would be beneficial to you sometimes?

Re working part time. When I worked part-time I left my house at 8am and got home at 6pm 5 days a week. My next part-time job I was on my feet for around 6 hours a day and would practically crawl into bed (or the sofa) when I got home as I’d rack up thousands of steps and burn hundreds of calories, it was exhausting.

I would absolutely love to take an afternoon nap! YABU

Goodness, my DH regularly falls a sleep in front of the cricket or watching the motor racing as he’s finally sitting down to relax. He works 10-14hr days, is on call 24/7, leaves the house at 6am to be at his desk by 7, rarely home before 7pm and even then may have to field calls and emails… so if he passes out on the sofa or the garden chairs at the weekend? No problem.

Everyone has different sleep rhythms, it is biological. He may stay up late and sleep in. Some people go to bed early and wake early. It is really judgemental of you to police his sleeping schedule. I hope he sees the red flag here. You are not a match for him.

Poor bloke. Just end it now. Clearly he’ll never live up to your superior morals and lifestyle.

He sounds more chilled than you, you’d probably piss him off as much as he does you. You’ve only had a few dates and to be this turned off by one nap in a home that you don’t live in and weren’t even there shows you are not right for each other. Imagine if you really liked him and really fancied him, you wouldn’t be turned off, you’d be wishing you were in bed with him.

I love a nap. I am a high energy person who rarely sits down, I find it difficult to relax, there is always something happening.
I need a cat nap to restore my evening energy levels before falling into bed.
Sleeping is my relaxing place.

LTB 😁

In his own home and OP not even being there. Can you imagine having to pass a nap request through to someone you’re casually dating.

Do all of the posters who have the 'ick' from someone sleeping (a literally essential bodily process) for a small amount of time during daylight hours think they're more productive than nappers?

What are you achieving that I'm not? Are you solving world hunger or studying for an MBA or...what? What makes you superior to me?