My boyfriend has not been supportive after abortion

[Mumblebee24]

Hello, so I found out that I was pregnant last month after missing my period - I took a test and there was two big bright red lines.
I thought long and hard about the decision however I knew I couldn’t bring a baby into my life the way it is at the moment. I decided to opt for an abortion - filled in a consultation this was all carried out on phone calls & I was then sent out in the post an abortion kit at home.

This was around 5 days ago now - my boyfriend keeps trying to have sex with me I told him no I’m not doing it I am not going through or having to make the decision I have just had to - he started calling me a baby killer - saying the reason I did abort is because it wasn’t his baby etc etc. literally not the case.

we was cuddling last night, literally 5 minutes in he’s there trying to pull my pants down I said no he kept trying I said no I’m not risking it he can wait until I am contraception + I am still bleeding + very fertile at the moment.

He huffed and got off me told me he didn’t want to just cuddle me and just turned to the side onto his phone - I told him he has no respect for me or my body or what I’ve just had to go through not only mentally but physically.

he then about 20 minutes apologised started to cuddle me again too which I did and he he tried pulling his pants down again and mine I said no again - at this point I was getting annoyed because he was not listening to me anyway from here he just turned away again.

he then said I never want to touch him and that I’m boring - I said to him that we have literally just been cuddling, how do I not touch him. He said that’s boring, I said he only wants to even touch me for sex that’s it he said yeah he does because he can’t stand me.

i haven’t even told my mum about the abortion - I haven’t told anyone but him I have no one else I can speak to so I guess this may be the reason behind the post today

He is awful. You deserve better.

Leave him.

Get a new boyfriend, don’t degrade yrself by stay with him.

This is another big red flag.

Your mum is not going to think any less off you for doing tfe right thing and breaking up with him again (this time forever!!!)
Everyone makes mistakes

You can hardly spend your whole life with this turd to prove your mum wrong...
If your mum was annoyed you got back with him its because she cares about you and could see what a dick he is

You’ve already made a hard and important decision in having an abortion. Now you need to make another, get rid of him! You deserve better. He sounds horrible.

He needs to go. Talk to your mum.

Please go back to your mum. There's nothing unusual about needing a second try to get away from someone - you very almost did it before. You're now prepared for the sweet nothings call.

You gave it a second try and this is how it turned out - don't give him another chance.

He sounds like a total loser OP. You’re not stupid for going back though. Break
ups are often a bit protracted, with back and forth, until the relationship finally ends. He’s probably pestering you for sex and insulting you because he knows it’s ending and he’s getting desperate.

Oh OP.

He is a shit.

Dump him and thank your lucky stars you're not having a baby with him.

Please just end it with this guy, he sounds immature, selfish and quite horrible. Doesn’t seem to understand the word no. Doesn’t seem to understand or have interest in understanding the impact of abortion. Calling you names.
Sweet nothings are easy, particularly when you want something. It’s when the hard stuff happens that you see the measure of someone and this guy falls way short.
Don't second guess yourself for a second. Just move on. You deserve better.

He's a really, really bad guy. Please do yourself a favour and end it properly.

Oh OP, your mum won't care/think badly of you, she will just want to know you're safe, im sure my own DD will make mistakes in life but I would feel sad if she felt she couldn't reach out to me.

Can you stay with her tomorrow? You did a kind thing not saddling a child with an awful father, you sound quite young, honestly there's so much more to life than this loser. X

You can hardly spend your whole life with this turd to prove your mum wrong...

Honestly, your mum already knows, woman in abusive relationships don’t hide it as well as they think.

Pack up your stuff and go back to your mum’s house now. Thank heavens you aren’t having a child with this utter swine.

Congratulate yourself on making the smart choice and spend this bank holiday weekend celebrating getting rid of your abusive ex.

@Mumblebee24

You said "it would not morally be fair bringing a child into a fkeddd up situation. "

Can you not show yourself the same love you described? You are important too. Have those high standards for yourself as well.

You need to leave him. He's sexually abusive and cares so little for you that he doesn't care that you could get an infection of your reproductive organs that could affect your future fertility or get septic. He's all about his orgasm and is good with risking your health or your life to have one.

Think about that the next time he mouths words that mean nothing.

I'm sorry you are going through this, he is taking advantage of your pain, he is vile, please speak to someone in RL.

Leave! You know this.

do it before you get sucked back in. He is vile

And you are with him because….? He is vile and abusive, he doesn’t deserve you !

This.

This isn’t a reason to doubt your decision. This is a reason to congratulate yourself on making a tough but wise choice, allowing you to free yourself from this abusive shit of a man.

Sweetie, you may need to tell your mum, if that’s what it takes to get you away from him.

Are you quite young/vulnerable? I only ask because more than once you’ve mentioned your mum. It would probably be best to speak with her and she can help getting you away from him

Get rid OP.

What a piece of shit he is
Tell mum, go home, and never see him again

Your poor love, you deserve care and support after what you have been through. He is very abusive and manipulative. If you can’t talk to someone in your life like your Mum would you call the Women’s Aid helpline? They would give you lots of support, you don’t have to give them your full details if you don’t want to but they would help you think through a strategy of ending this relationship safely and building your self esteem back up. He will get much worse and you need support to stay strong x

Hoping you feel better soon after this ordeal Please see that this bf is not a good enough partner for you. Please raise your standards about how you will be treated. He does not love or respect you, so when you have recovered soon, you know what to do OP? Just do it. ❤