For not dating an unemployed man?

[Butterfly789]

Just need some validation that I’m not a complete heartless cow!

I recently met a man via online dating and we have been chatting for a few weeks (haven’t met up yet). At first, he was a bit vague about what his job was, but eventually admitted he’s unemployed due to an accident he had 5 years ago. He says he’s unable to work because of this. I was a bit apprehensive, but carried on talking to him and arranged a date, as he’s actually really lovely and I enjoy speaking to him. This was until today when I had a bit of a ‘what am I doing?’ moment and decided this man isn’t for me. I told him this (in a diplomatic way) and he didn’t take it very well.

For context - I am 28, have a well paid professional job, am a homeowner and have a 3 year old. He is 10 years older than me, lives in council housing and as I previously mentioned, is unemployed.

Am I just being a massive snob? As I said, he’s a really lovely man, I’m just not sure how it would work with us having such different lifestyles!

Then let's hope Mr Six Five Blue Eyes Trust Fund is a nice person then. And that he likes children.

Hopefully, OP, you have had a thorough lesson today in just what kind of dudes think it's terrible that you won't date an unemployed guy ten years older who doesn't respect the word no. And it has made you realise just how right you are.

Sorry - why are people now being called racist on this thread?

If people fling insults around then they'll get repaid in kind.

If he doesn't own his own house, doesn't /can't drive a car, has no job. He's a non runner. At a push, if he rents, he might stand a chance.

Because he's lost the argument so now he's just derailing, lowering the tone and trying to make us angry.

Erm, I did find it and copy and pasted it for you a few minutes ago? 🤣 Scroll up.

Still waiting to hear who you mean by ‘we see you’. Clock’s ticking…

Yes, because OP’s only gets to choose between the unemployed and 6’5 men with trust funds.

Surprisingly enough, it’s not in fact outside of the realms of possibility that she could find a kind man she’s compatible with, on an equal financial footing to her. Wild notion, I know.

Because you lost the argument and started insulting people. Hth!

Where do you live where the only dating options are insolvent and unemployed people, or living TikTok memes?

I can't imagine what the council must be like.

Yes I do actually, if you go to the gym meet your mates daily and generally out n about you can work so my diagnosis is… bone idle

I understand you, mate. It’s you that doesn’t understand yourself.

OP - I’m shocked at the vitriol you’re getting on this thread.

I wouldn’t date a long term unemployed person or someone who is retired because k work full time and out schedules wouldn’t work.
Someone who’s been made redundant and looking for work or taking a career break is different. I took a year out after being made redundant but I lived off my settlement and knew I’d look for work again after a break.

You're not compatible and that’s ok

Just think, OP, date this guy and you could get the approval of these people.

OP, please dodge that harder than ol’ boy dodges employment.

No idea where the racist thing has come from. This has all gone a bit west. Ffs she doesn’t want to shack up with an almost 40 year old man who doesn’t have a job doesn’t seem to want a job but want to live like a teenager hanging out without his pals all day. Jesus what’s wrong with this woman. I mean I know shes past her sell by date at the tender age of 28 hahaha wow just wow.

Yes, that's what I thought. You don't know shit all about this man but you feel qualified to judge him and his life.

Brilliant.

Please keep going. I don't need to say anything further. All you needed was enough rope.

These are your supporters, OP.

Yeah her supporter are people who go out to
work and aren’t too keen on dating people watching day tv it kinda sucks the romance out of life

Well, this thread is depressing! I’m glad my DH didn’t judge my financial status when we met. I was not working and lived in a council house but thankfully status and money wasn’t his main priority. If it was, I wouldn’t have wanted to be with him anyway.