For not dating an unemployed man?

[Butterfly789]

Just need some validation that I’m not a complete heartless cow!

I recently met a man via online dating and we have been chatting for a few weeks (haven’t met up yet). At first, he was a bit vague about what his job was, but eventually admitted he’s unemployed due to an accident he had 5 years ago. He says he’s unable to work because of this. I was a bit apprehensive, but carried on talking to him and arranged a date, as he’s actually really lovely and I enjoy speaking to him. This was until today when I had a bit of a ‘what am I doing?’ moment and decided this man isn’t for me. I told him this (in a diplomatic way) and he didn’t take it very well.

For context - I am 28, have a well paid professional job, am a homeowner and have a 3 year old. He is 10 years older than me, lives in council housing and as I previously mentioned, is unemployed.

Am I just being a massive snob? As I said, he’s a really lovely man, I’m just not sure how it would work with us having such different lifestyles!

No, your post is clear in its value judgements without the lens of my interpretation.

I’m not the one ashamed of my posts, mate. You’re the one denying you said things that you clearly said.

Oh, so you're saying some men won't want to date a single mum? Get ready for the insults and accusations OP!

OP, if single mothers were so completely undesirable then your thread wouldn't have brought all the neggers, incels, MRAs and just plain mantrumming dudes to the yard.

And we know who the racist is don't we?

I absolutely disagree that being a single mum makes your any less eligible or attractive on the dating “market”. However you have started a thread inviting people to judge whether a man you know is an eligible catch based on his job status and being disabled. Your Aibu doesn’t even make sense- of course you are not unreasonable for choosing not to date someone for any reason. So why post about this? Seems like you just want to make a point about the jobless and disabled? But you don’t like it when people judge you for your circumstances?

Oh bore off, think what you like. You don’t know me personally and you’re just making things up. My post stated facts, not “value judgements”

Just out of interest, if you had a daughter in my position, would you advise her to date this man?

🤣

You are floundering, mate. Give it up.

Erm ... you realise that OP herself has said that some men don't want to date single mums? So you're looking rather stupid now.

All fun and games when you were throwing out the insults wasn't it? We see you.

This is the equivalent of when you yell, "Oy, ugly!" and people turn round.

Right, Dave?

I would certainly advise my daughter to look for kindness, not wealth.

You can't buy kindness.

"Haha I'll pretend the other person is a man and everyone will praise me. " Still not working is it dear? And you still seem incapable of understanding the point that even OP has now accepted.

You can recognise #bekind for what it is - a way to guilt trip women into accepting shit - and fuck it off for free.

Or your racist pals?

Yeah, we all want kindness. But kindness isn’t enough in the real world when there’s bills to pay.

Avoid

You've completely missed the point there. I said nothing about women being kind or not. I said my advice is to look for a kind man, not a wealthy one, because all the money in the world won't buy you a decent man.

Luckily it’s not an either/or, so she won’t have to restrict her search to the unemployed.

🤣

I love it when Dave tries to get patronising. It's like when a TikToker who gets triggered by a rubber plant tries to tell us how to run the world.

🤣

You never said who you mean by ‘we see you’? Or is that yet another post you can’t back yourself on?