Why does society infantilise women so much?

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Just that. Why does society do that?

When discussing age gap relationships, whenever there is an older man in the scenario, comments such as “vulnerable” and “girls” are often used. 21 year old girl or 27 year old girl for example. A girl is a child between the age of 8-13. A woman is a grown adult who is 18 and over. So why use this term? In terms of the word vulnerable, this can mean different things; someone who needs special care or could potentially be exposed to being attacked or harmed, physically or emotionally. Surely all people can be vulnerable not just women? At what age is it okay for a fully grown woman do have a consenting relationship with an older man? Completely understand that there are some men who will use his power to get into a relationship with a younger woman, but not all relationships are like this. And a man could do this to a woman at any age. We don’t view men in the same way. I doubt many people are saying a 27year old man is vulnerable for having a relationship with an older woman. Off topic, but relevant in which women and men are viewed differently. Female teachers who have had relationships with pupils and gone to prison. Lots of comments from men saying they “would love to have had a teacher like that” joking and blaming the boy for not keeping his mouth shut. Whilst you don’t see females making these comments about male teachers.

Women on social media using the phrases girl math, girl dinner, girl hammer, lazy girl jobs and hot girl summer. These can be regarded as harmless fun, a trend not meant to be taking seriously but surely it just highlights how women, not girls are viewed and plays right into the hand of misogyny. It just seems very patronising that we have spent years trying to fight the patriarchy to get us to be taking seriously and the phrases just perpetuate the stereotypes that women are useless children who are can’t look after themselves.

Grown women also say “out with the girls, drinks with the girlies, girls night out” when posting pictures on social media or even in just conversation. Why do we do this? Why is this so normal and accepted. Big girl pants on and big girl job are also phrases used yet I’ve never heard a man say I need to put my big boy pants on are someone else say they need to do that.

At what age do we start treating women like women?

YABU - no, women are not infantilised by society
YANBU - yes, women are infantilised by society.

I’m a 52 year old feminist who spent the late eighties fighting for abortion rights. I can assure you that I neither address other adult women as ‘girls’ or refer to myself as one. I don’t think I know anyone who does, unless they’re being heavily ironic. I lost my virginity aged 18 to a man in his mid-40s. It was my idea. I wasn’t exploited. I was as tough as any young woman needed to be if she hauled herself out of an impoverished home by virtue of stubbornness.

It absolutely infuriates me the way so many women refer to themselves as " girls".
It's just colluding with societies view that women aren't actually fully functioning adults.
I've had quite a few run-ins on threads in MN because I question OPs as to why they are infantalising themselves and their friends by calling referring to themselves as " girls".

It’s just as common to see ‘boys night out’ and ‘out with the boys’ in the context you have described.

Exactly. I see this all the time and there’s nothing wrong with it

I agree with you. I cannot bear when women speak in a baby voice or describe themselves as "only little". I am in my 50's, my DD in her her 20's and we both know contemporaries who do both of these things. I would say, ime, women are the worst offenders to themselves.

I cannot imagine my male contemporaries describing themselves as "only little" or infantilising themselves voluntarily.

It bothers me with clothes; so much of women’s clothing in shops has Disney characters or cutesy slogans or frills or rainbows and shit. No guy goes about wearing a Disney Tshirt.

I'm guessing they sell them because people buy them though.

In the question as stated ("Why does society infantilise women so much?"), what do you mean by "society", OP? The government? The media? Advertising? Ordinary people? Labour voters? Reform voters? I'm not a huge fan of Margaret Thatcher, but in this case I will make an exception and say that "there is no such thing as society" (in this context only, please don't kill me).

This feels a bit like claims that "Society teaches boys to be macho men who never cry", when as far as I can see, the vast majority of messages aimed at boys from "society" are actually fairly positive in terms of their expected roles. I don't think anyone has made an advert in which a man was shown in a more favourable light than a woman since the 1970s, for example (remember the Milk Tray man, or "Things happen after a Badedas bath"?).

Society is very diverse and you can always find differing points of view on every topic. If you want to find people being infantilising or whatever then you will, but if you're going to reduce everything to one single yes/no switch, then on balance, no, I don't think society infantilises women. Certainly not to the extent that it did 50-60 years ago.

The bit that gets me is part where the supposed "empowering" of women means being sexually open and up for anything when it would be better concentrated on recognising and resisting the lure of a "bad boy" and not giving in to the persistence tactic of men, unless you really and truly want to.

What’s wrong with women liking Disney?

Chicken and egg though innit @Jc2001

What a weird group of pick me’s out to bash other women under the veil of “feminism”.

Charming!

Nothing. They’re also really into Paw Patrol and Peppa, or so I hear.

Bloody this. I despise being called a girl.

I’m a professional with a 27 year career and a mother. I’m not a girl. Stop infantilising women

Is there a point to your posts?

Apparently brains not fully developed til age 25. I think that is biologically officially adult ?

Disney doesn't have an age and plenty of men DO go around in Disney/Star Wars/Marvel tops...

Is there a point to your rudeness?

I agree that people, especially MN, have a terrible habit of infantalising women, especially when they can use it to make men look worse (namely to imply peadophilia)

But men will equally say they're "meeting the boys", "boys night out", "need to be a big boy".

It’s not rude to ask if you are making a point or not, this is a discussion forum. I’m going to assume the answer is no.

I generally abhor it when women are referred to as girls esp when there is a power imbalance, e.g. I’ll get the girls in the office to book us the meeting room.

but i definitely don’t mind in situations when men would use the word “boys” - girls/boys night out etc. Our builder refers to the guys that work for him as the boys when talking to us - “I’ll get the boys to move the rubble” etc.

I think context is key.

No, your implication was that I have no point, when it’s merely that you disagree with mine 🤷‍♀️

You’re right, it is a discussion forum, so why are you picking apart my taking part in it? Weird.

I noticed this even more when I was pregnant. Emily Oster’s book gives proper factual advice and doesn’t treat women like idiots. Other advice (even from the NHS), is so overly cautious as we can’t be trusted to do our own research and form our own opinions they think it’s better to pretty much ban everything or push a particular ethos on you.

Well do you have a point or not? If so what is it? I’m not picking you apart at all, you are being deliberately obtuse. Which implies that actually, you don’t have a point.

Referring to yourself or other women as girls is a red herring about infantilisation.

I call myself a girl sometimes, its neither here nor there in terms of how society, this forum is a good example, will portray women a victims no matter what. A crime committed by a women, must have been vulnerable, desparate or led by a man. A violent woman? Must be struggling with MH or ND of some sort. An unhappy relationship, must be a victim of toxicity or being undermined or being controlled.

The list is endless.