Why does society infantilise women so much?

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Just that. Why does society do that?

When discussing age gap relationships, whenever there is an older man in the scenario, comments such as “vulnerable” and “girls” are often used. 21 year old girl or 27 year old girl for example. A girl is a child between the age of 8-13. A woman is a grown adult who is 18 and over. So why use this term? In terms of the word vulnerable, this can mean different things; someone who needs special care or could potentially be exposed to being attacked or harmed, physically or emotionally. Surely all people can be vulnerable not just women? At what age is it okay for a fully grown woman do have a consenting relationship with an older man? Completely understand that there are some men who will use his power to get into a relationship with a younger woman, but not all relationships are like this. And a man could do this to a woman at any age. We don’t view men in the same way. I doubt many people are saying a 27year old man is vulnerable for having a relationship with an older woman. Off topic, but relevant in which women and men are viewed differently. Female teachers who have had relationships with pupils and gone to prison. Lots of comments from men saying they “would love to have had a teacher like that” joking and blaming the boy for not keeping his mouth shut. Whilst you don’t see females making these comments about male teachers.

Women on social media using the phrases girl math, girl dinner, girl hammer, lazy girl jobs and hot girl summer. These can be regarded as harmless fun, a trend not meant to be taking seriously but surely it just highlights how women, not girls are viewed and plays right into the hand of misogyny. It just seems very patronising that we have spent years trying to fight the patriarchy to get us to be taking seriously and the phrases just perpetuate the stereotypes that women are useless children who are can’t look after themselves.

Grown women also say “out with the girls, drinks with the girlies, girls night out” when posting pictures on social media or even in just conversation. Why do we do this? Why is this so normal and accepted. Big girl pants on and big girl job are also phrases used yet I’ve never heard a man say I need to put my big boy pants on are someone else say they need to do that.

At what age do we start treating women like women?

YABU - no, women are not infantilised by society
YANBU - yes, women are infantilised by society.

You could be me! Only I’m 10 years older.
I do call my lifelong friends “The Girls from School” because that’s what we were when we met. But that’s it!

Agree, when you use it in the same context as gurus night out etc. However I would say it’s different when you’re saying the girl math, girl dinner. Men told say that.

Absolutely.

Well, in that case I'd argue Boy Boss looks better on a tshirt than Girl Boss. It's alliterative. Why is Boy Boss not the 'slang of the time'?

Presumably our tiny female brains could not, without this assistance, work out which way to put the garment on.

🙄so I can't enjoy watching Disney after I turn 12? Bet you think video games are also just for children too?

Graham Norton posted a photo of himself on Instagram wearing a tshirt saying ‘Girls just want to have fundamental rights’. Obvs it’s referencing the song but couldn’t help myself commenting that ‘girls’ is infantilising. Also might have mentioned the damage of Trans Activism to women’s rights… 😬 I’ve been on here too long!

I agree, men also say this. I think it’s more the fact that they aren’t boys/girls. When you say boy/girl night out it indicates something juvenile, when actually these people are adults.

Some of it I find harmless, as much as I am a feminist. The girl thing I dont care about - plenty of men talk about going out with the boys.

However, while it is true that men can be vulnerable, systemic inequality, and societal expectations mean women are more likely to be in vulnerable positions than men.

How is it pick me to have an opinion on these things. Could say you appear to be a pick me.

Sentencing is already more lenient for people younger than 25 in many jurisdictions including the UK, as what pp said happens to be a proven fact. But of course, it will vary somewhat individually - well done for reaching maturity earlier than average!

Currently reading “Girl on Girl” by Sophie Gilbert. It’s fascinating; it examines the 2000s and 2010s pop culture, art, fashion, and porn (hence the title) in their influences to each other, feminism, and power. The title is both a reference to increasing influence of porn on mainstream culture at the time and a comment on how the whole setup turned the women against each other.

What I found most interesting, as someone who is the same age as the author, is the examination of how the culture of the time (full of very visible very young women in music etc, but also obsessed with thinness, whiteness, sexuality but also purity and slut shaming) has taught us (as teens / young women at the time) what it means to be a woman.

This thread and the permanent MN jumping to defend calling 45 year olds “girls” is reminding me of that. Other MN trope that remind me of that is self hatered on the Style and Beauty board. (“Find me a dress but my arms are gross”, “I wax everything to feel fresh” etc).

I agree. It seems that a lot of these comments that post stuff like that think women are not capable of making an informed decision at 18. What age can you make an informed decision?

“A girl is a child between the age of 8-13. A woman is a grown adult who is 18 and over. “

what do you call them between 13 and 18?! And under 8?

confused!

My old boss would say things like “have a good night girls” if he seen we were going out despite being three years younger than him. Never said that to the men. But agree about context

Yes, this is what I mean about using the term girls when there is a power imbalance

But why do you think women are always portrayed as the victim?

Because that's how a lot of women portray themselves or how a lot of women view being a woman. Does my head in.

The PP has a good point and I also agree with you in the term girl boss. No man has ever said boy boss. This goes back to misogyny. Also the word manageress. I hate. The term manager does not mean a male. It means someone who manages as their job.

My point is that women and men are not viewed equally in terms of a crime that can be committed by both sexes.

But the issue that women don’t make these comments and men do. Shows you how unserious men think these crimes are.

Yes and that's why I'm interested to know what percentage of men who had underage sex with an adult including teachers, are actually traumatised by it and how many dont see it like that. You get the impression it's not such a big deal for them, although someone has recommended a podcast on the issue.

In my walking netball group there are ladies in their 70s and 80s who refer to each other as “girls”. Make of that what you will.

I reckon they views it different biologically. There was a famous case about a 35 (something like that) year old teacher in America who groomed and slept with her 12 year old pupil (rape) she ended up pregnant and went to jail. Had two kids by him and were together like 20 years. She was married at the time and had two kids a few tears younger than him. There’s been numerous documentaries about them but in the last one before she died she said it was you doing all the controlling (or something like this) and he said you were the adult I was only 12. Think he realised much later how much damage was inflicted on him. He was a father at like 13.

It could be a dialect thing. I’m from the north east and we use lads and lasses, which generally doesn’t have an age restriction. Or wife and old man when they are older.