Why does society infantilise women so much?

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Just that. Why does society do that?

When discussing age gap relationships, whenever there is an older man in the scenario, comments such as “vulnerable” and “girls” are often used. 21 year old girl or 27 year old girl for example. A girl is a child between the age of 8-13. A woman is a grown adult who is 18 and over. So why use this term? In terms of the word vulnerable, this can mean different things; someone who needs special care or could potentially be exposed to being attacked or harmed, physically or emotionally. Surely all people can be vulnerable not just women? At what age is it okay for a fully grown woman do have a consenting relationship with an older man? Completely understand that there are some men who will use his power to get into a relationship with a younger woman, but not all relationships are like this. And a man could do this to a woman at any age. We don’t view men in the same way. I doubt many people are saying a 27year old man is vulnerable for having a relationship with an older woman. Off topic, but relevant in which women and men are viewed differently. Female teachers who have had relationships with pupils and gone to prison. Lots of comments from men saying they “would love to have had a teacher like that” joking and blaming the boy for not keeping his mouth shut. Whilst you don’t see females making these comments about male teachers.

Women on social media using the phrases girl math, girl dinner, girl hammer, lazy girl jobs and hot girl summer. These can be regarded as harmless fun, a trend not meant to be taking seriously but surely it just highlights how women, not girls are viewed and plays right into the hand of misogyny. It just seems very patronising that we have spent years trying to fight the patriarchy to get us to be taking seriously and the phrases just perpetuate the stereotypes that women are useless children who are can’t look after themselves.

Grown women also say “out with the girls, drinks with the girlies, girls night out” when posting pictures on social media or even in just conversation. Why do we do this? Why is this so normal and accepted. Big girl pants on and big girl job are also phrases used yet I’ve never heard a man say I need to put my big boy pants on are someone else say they need to do that.

At what age do we start treating women like women?

YABU - no, women are not infantilised by society
YANBU - yes, women are infantilised by society.

There’s been plenty of cases where women have gotten off more light than a man would have.

Ah what a classic.

Plenty of women have no problem calling 21 year old women, girls.

A lot of great points made and different opinions, haven’t had a chance to look through all but thanks to everyone that posted.

Yes and you have to wonder why. My first thoughts are was it claimed there was an element of self defence or acting out after years of abuse, which men, in the past anyway, might not have been taken so seriously if they claimed that. I've no idea.

Any time a woman on here is mentioned yhr word 'vulnerable' is attached to it, and how many excuses are there for women who can't think for themselves

Their partner and everyone else is to blame because women can't say no, or 'he made me love' or 'I need to be a sahm because he wants me too'

And with every generation of women there still seems a lot that think women's sole purpose in life is having children then looking after grand children

It all adds to it

Both are true. A woman’s advice/ judgment/ style/ presentation is not taken seriously. A woman is supposed to not think critically or talk over men - just support and be kind and caring. And pretty in a dress with bows. (Half joking)

Men are to blame for their behaviour yet women just
go along with it and put up with it and walk past 100 red flags but do nothing just stick their head in the sand

I’m taking about them cases where the women has been abused. Drink driving, theft, fraud, drug smuggling. A lot of these cases women have stated they have kids, as to make some kind of excuse to reduce their sentence. You don’t have fathers doing this.

Well maybe it's to reduce the chances of the kids suffering I dont know. On the face of it there should be no leniency for women.

I agree. Women and men should be treat the same. However, this is not always the case.

@Bellyblueboy it's true that generally they don't use the word boy in relation to work but they do use lad. I guess the female equivalent would be lass but it isn't widely used. And certainly round here the word man is rarely used it would be my new boss is a bloke from wherever

Men get blamed for all sorts.

Women are infantalised to the degree they aren't considered capable of making their own decisions as adults.

Ok.

It less about the woman and more about reducing harm to children by throwing the primary carer in jail and the kids into care. Hence why being a sole or primary caregiver can be a mitigant in sentencing. (As it should be unless you really don’t give a F about the kids.)

While I see the connection between your first point about grooming/sexual vulnerability and your second point about the word girls, I think they reflect slightly different things.

Men and women are not the same and the risks for men and women from sexual violence are not the same. Women are overwhelmingly the victims and men are overwhelmingly the perpetrators. The fear/suspicion about older men and younger women reflects this.

I absolutely agree with you about how irritating phrases such as “girl maths” are. I think women who contribute to this have some internalised misogyny or have made the mistake of thinking that being all cutesy and helpless somehow makes them endearing.

I can’t get worked up about phrases such as girls night out though. Men use the phrase boys night out too. I think this is more an observation that it’s a chance to be as carefree as a child, i.e. without responsibilities for the night (even though some people think that means being an irresponsible idiot).

Exactly. This type of thinking is cherry picking. It’s also really not that important in the whole scheme of female oppression. You are focussing on the wrong things.

Don’t the Disney dads have loads of those T- shirts 🤣

So true. My grandaughter point blank refuses to wear frilly bow cutie knickers.
She would prefer boy style trunk/boxers but even the female version of those are shorter and cutesyfied.

Couldn't she just buy xs size boxers then if that is what she wants to wear

No where sells anything near what she wants.
She would like something to wear without dinosaurs or super heros or the bit of the design thats obviously made for the male body.

Oddballs, that's the answer. They sell Women's Boxers

But I have to say the only "frilly knickers" I own are ones thst are the lacy, night out type

Everything else is plain or has gasp Disney or such design on!

I don’t think infantilise but rather society vilifies older women so women volunteer themselves as “girls” After all “girls night out” and “hot girl summer” etc. are all terms coined by women not men. Maybe?

Edit: Double post

I’m from South Yorkshire and we tend to say “lasses and lads”.

A lass could be anything from a toddler to a pensioner. Same for a lad.

Young lass/lad, old lass/lad, nice lass/lad, night out with the lasses/lads.