Why does society infantilise women so much?

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Just that. Why does society do that?

When discussing age gap relationships, whenever there is an older man in the scenario, comments such as “vulnerable” and “girls” are often used. 21 year old girl or 27 year old girl for example. A girl is a child between the age of 8-13. A woman is a grown adult who is 18 and over. So why use this term? In terms of the word vulnerable, this can mean different things; someone who needs special care or could potentially be exposed to being attacked or harmed, physically or emotionally. Surely all people can be vulnerable not just women? At what age is it okay for a fully grown woman do have a consenting relationship with an older man? Completely understand that there are some men who will use his power to get into a relationship with a younger woman, but not all relationships are like this. And a man could do this to a woman at any age. We don’t view men in the same way. I doubt many people are saying a 27year old man is vulnerable for having a relationship with an older woman. Off topic, but relevant in which women and men are viewed differently. Female teachers who have had relationships with pupils and gone to prison. Lots of comments from men saying they “would love to have had a teacher like that” joking and blaming the boy for not keeping his mouth shut. Whilst you don’t see females making these comments about male teachers.

Women on social media using the phrases girl math, girl dinner, girl hammer, lazy girl jobs and hot girl summer. These can be regarded as harmless fun, a trend not meant to be taking seriously but surely it just highlights how women, not girls are viewed and plays right into the hand of misogyny. It just seems very patronising that we have spent years trying to fight the patriarchy to get us to be taking seriously and the phrases just perpetuate the stereotypes that women are useless children who are can’t look after themselves.

Grown women also say “out with the girls, drinks with the girlies, girls night out” when posting pictures on social media or even in just conversation. Why do we do this? Why is this so normal and accepted. Big girl pants on and big girl job are also phrases used yet I’ve never heard a man say I need to put my big boy pants on are someone else say they need to do that.

At what age do we start treating women like women?

YABU - no, women are not infantilised by society
YANBU - yes, women are infantilised by society.

I made my point in my first post; go back and read it maybe, and see if you can understand it. It’s all quite small words.

So there’s nothing wrong with women liking Disney, but you are annoyed Disney clothes are available to women, even though plenty of men wear Disney/marvel/Star Wars too. What has that got to do with paw patrol?

Not the main point, but I'm intrigued as to how you would describe a female aged between 0-7?!

Look, we disagree, and that’s fine. I can’t be arsed being hectored by someone who wants an explanation of why cartoons are for kids.

My husband does. He has quite a few Disney t t shirts. I will admit they’re not like Bambi or dumbo or other cutesy ones but he does have Mickey Mouse and Goofy and his best one is Hei Hei.

But you didn’t say anything about being annoyed about paw patrol clothes being on sale for women. Disney isn’t all cartoons and is absolutely for people of all ages. You agree there’s nothing wrong with women liking Disney so I’m glad we agree on that!

Cartoons aren't just for kids

HTH

Yes you've articulated this way better than I would have done. 'Out with the girls' is fine when men also use 'out with the boys' (although tbh I hear the term 'lads' more than 'boys' in these kind of contexts).

My number one hate in the whole 'girl' usage is GIRL BOSS. Why is being female a factor in being the boss? Why can't a female just be a boss without noting she's a girl? I have never heard the term boy boss!

Aren’t Star Wars and Marvel both owned by Disney now? There’s no shortage of grown men walking around in T-shirts featuring those franchises.

Yes or 14-17

Female teachers who have had relationships with pupils and gone to prison. Lots of comments from men saying they “would love to have had a teacher like that” joking and blaming the boy for not keeping his mouth shut. Whilst you don’t see females making these comments about male teachers.

Can you elaborate on this? What’s your point on this specific matter?

It’s very clear the male students are being abused and unfortunately a lot of men especially the older generations were led to believe this scenario isn’t abuse.

And surely we are all agreed that the men making these comments lack maturity, morals and emotional intelligence among other things? Or in some cases sadly probably been abused themselves and don’t want to acknowledge it as such.

It’s definitely a good thing that women don’t make these kind of disgusting jokes about male teachers who have abused female students. And rightly condemn it and recognise that the girl students have been abused.

There was a 14 year old in my class when I was at school, sleeping with a 21 year old man at lunchtimes. Many of her friends in class tried to tell her it was wrong but she kept going and then all of a sudden one day she woke up and said ugh this man really is disgusting. I think more young boys need to have that moment of clarity too and indeed some do.

Girl Boss isn't necessarily the actual boss

It's a woman who "owns herself" as it were. One who doesn't shy away from being herself. From being "awesome". From owning the room.

I can't work out if you're being serious but I'll answer as if you were.

Can't the term just be.... a confident woman? Or even, woman?

If a man 'doesn't shy away from being himself' or being 'awesome' or 'owns the room' how come we don't call him a boy boss?

I have what might be seen as an irrational hatred for this kind of clothing too. I don’t mind typically female clothing and colours but I hate going shopping for my DC where this type of shite makes up 75% of my options.

I would be interested to hear men's views on that, if they were someone who slept with a teacher as a teenager. You hear a lot of guys talking about losing their virginity young and it never seem to have a bad tone to it, so are they secretly upset looking back or do men just view these things completley differently due to biology.

Not saying you’re off base on the whole - but I think you’re wrong on the language of using ‘girls’ as being infantilising.

In my experience using ‘girls’ (but equally ‘lads’) is completely normal in some parts of the country. I have met people in corporate settings in London who share your view, though to me it feels like pushing a SE centric lens on to everyone else.

Because it's the slang of the time...

It does mean a confident women. But "Confident Woman" doesn't look as good on the teeshirt

There are plenty of shops out there that don’t sell predominantly Disney licenced clothing. Just shop around. It’s only available because people want it.

But the point ( of the thread ) is that the slang of the time infantilises adult females in a way we don’t adult men

bottom line / women are worth what they can push out so looking young helps

men can be worthwhile in other ways

it’s so endemic in our culture that many can’t see it .. or see why it’s not good for women

Yes I was wondering that too 🤣 what's inbetween girl and woman for those few precise years 🤦‍♀️

Oh dear, I had my first child before I was a biological adult....
He's turned out to be an absolutely awful human being, he works full time along side college as he wanted a trade, he's paying for his own driving lessons and saved up for a car - he also pays his board on time with no complaints. He volunteers with a local scout group making sure younger children get to have the opportunities he had.
Can we please, please stop with this bollocks about the brain not being fully formed until we are 25, if it made even the remotest difference we wouldn't be able to prosecute people as adults until they were 25! Does that sound good to you? Rapists and murderers walking free because they were 'only' 24 years and 10 months old at the time of the crime.....
I think we infantilise everyone in society these days, not just women!

@Eagle2025theres a brilliant podcast called Lucky Boy about just this. Really worth a listen.

I have actually used the phrase girls, like going out with them. But stopped in my early 20s. I think it was more habit/what everyone else said at the time. Have friends that still use it and I honestly just cringe. I don’t think if they even know why we should stop using it.

What did they say?

Don’t get me started on women’s knickers with the tiny bow at the front! WHY?!