Why does society infantilise women so much?

[Youstolemygoddamnhouse]

Just that. Why does society do that?

When discussing age gap relationships, whenever there is an older man in the scenario, comments such as “vulnerable” and “girls” are often used. 21 year old girl or 27 year old girl for example. A girl is a child between the age of 8-13. A woman is a grown adult who is 18 and over. So why use this term? In terms of the word vulnerable, this can mean different things; someone who needs special care or could potentially be exposed to being attacked or harmed, physically or emotionally. Surely all people can be vulnerable not just women? At what age is it okay for a fully grown woman do have a consenting relationship with an older man? Completely understand that there are some men who will use his power to get into a relationship with a younger woman, but not all relationships are like this. And a man could do this to a woman at any age. We don’t view men in the same way. I doubt many people are saying a 27year old man is vulnerable for having a relationship with an older woman. Off topic, but relevant in which women and men are viewed differently. Female teachers who have had relationships with pupils and gone to prison. Lots of comments from men saying they “would love to have had a teacher like that” joking and blaming the boy for not keeping his mouth shut. Whilst you don’t see females making these comments about male teachers.

Women on social media using the phrases girl math, girl dinner, girl hammer, lazy girl jobs and hot girl summer. These can be regarded as harmless fun, a trend not meant to be taking seriously but surely it just highlights how women, not girls are viewed and plays right into the hand of misogyny. It just seems very patronising that we have spent years trying to fight the patriarchy to get us to be taking seriously and the phrases just perpetuate the stereotypes that women are useless children who are can’t look after themselves.

Grown women also say “out with the girls, drinks with the girlies, girls night out” when posting pictures on social media or even in just conversation. Why do we do this? Why is this so normal and accepted. Big girl pants on and big girl job are also phrases used yet I’ve never heard a man say I need to put my big boy pants on are someone else say they need to do that.

At what age do we start treating women like women?

YABU - no, women are not infantilised by society
YANBU - yes, women are infantilised by society.

I don't refer to women as girls, but l don't take offence at it's use either, l don't think it is a big issue like the gender pay gap or the glass ceiling, violence within marriage or a miriade of other issues. Don't focus on the use of "girls" if you want to smash the patriarchy - it's a piddling little issue.

YANBU in the sense that society (especially online these days) infantilises women, but personally I don’t think terms like girl dinner or girl math are a symptom of that - it’s not men coming up with these terms, it’s women within mostly female spheres anyways.

Oops I’m a grown woman with adult children and I do refer to my group of friends as girlies in group text. 😁

What about the Golden Girls? It wouldn’t have seemed the same calling them the Golden Women. I hate phrases like Girl Boss though.

I still call my adult sons boys 🙃

They buy them because this sort of gender differencing has been normalised to the extent that many don't question it any more in the same way many still happily accept that pink is 'for girls', blue is 'for boys', girls play with dolls, and boys play with cars etc.🙄
These boring and stereotypical beliefs have been vigorously challenged and some changes have been made but frustratingly manufacturers and retailers still heavily promote these antiquated and stiflingly limited ideas because basically, it's great for business so in effect we have a vicious circle!! 😡

I hate cutesy clothing and wear as much pink as my husband does.

However both of my adult sons wear Disney T-shirts, socks etc. My dh loves his mr men socks!

I see plenty of different clothing for women. Some cute and girly but plenty isnt. And who cares about pink for girls blue for boys? As soon as kids are old enough they decide what colours they like. Who cares if lots of girls like dolls and boys not so much. When I was young I had dolls but also farm play stuff and toy cars and Lego. Its nothing to get worked up about.

Do you call them out? At the time?

YANBU but vulnerability comes from a power imbalance and with age gap relationships this is always the case and the younger is the vulnerable party. Unless of course the elder has additional vulnerabilities not about male and female in my opinion.

I think we do it to ourselves a lot of the time
#girlboss
#mumpreneur
#careerwoman

Why are these things celebrated? Men have careers? You don't hear "Oh? You've had a child and you're back at work? Are you a CAREER MAN?"

"Oh, he's totally amazing at work, he's a #Boyboss"

Dadpreneur? Nah... Never heard of it.

I am 43 and don't want to be called a girl and I see my friends, not have "girlie nights".

Exactly. Acting like the use of ‘girls’ in this context is uniquely problematic and only affects women is exactly the kind of infantilising nonsense the OP is complaining about.

I’m a woman and I can handle being referred to as a girl from time to time. I correct them and move on / get on with my life. I don’t need language policed on my behalf, thanks.

To keep us in our place.

Mumpreneur is actually vomitous. Nobody cares that you grew a child in your womb and somehow also - gasp - hold down a job. You go girl 🤢

well there is a trend of wearing childish clothing atm, so that doesn't help. Women need to stop dressing like toddlers....dungarees with bunnies etc.

I have a top with dinosaurs in it, never thought of it as infantilising. ‘Sophisticated’ or ‘Classic’ clothing can also be rather tame and inexpressive. I’ll never wear a Mac and navy slacks! I love a frill too. Taste in fashion can remain fun, I don’t think mature dressing will ever be for me, I’ll be mixing it up in my 80s if I’m lucky.

They definitely do with Marvel and video game stuff.

@WhySoManySocks I was just thinking that terms like Girl Boss, Girl Maths etc are only a recent thing so thanks for the explanation. I think it makes sense.
I'm disappointed - this could have been an interesting discussion but it went a bit off track with the back-and-forth about disney characters on clothes!
Maybe women have to accept some responsibility for wider societal infantilisation? Speak up if you don't like it, and don't repeat it.
I know, and you know, that women the world over are nurturing the next generation, supporting their communities and generally keeping the world turning!

@Youstolemygoddamnhouse I don't understand the term 'A girl is a child between the age of 8-13'.
I googled it but am none the wiser.
Does the word girl not cover all females from infancy to 18th birthday?

ETA I'm not being g deliberately obtuse!

Men have vast history of being vile perverts, being nasty to women and taking advantage of women. An older man is practically using a younger woman's body and his age and power over her. There is nothing in it for her other than money and she's used as a receptacle or a child bearing vessel.

Even when I was a teenager I wouldnt have slept with a man I didnt want to just for money or flashy lifestyle. Depends what sort of person you are. If your in it for the money then so be it.

So you mean a prostitute?

So if we are girls from 8- 13 and women from 18 what are we between 13-18????

Wouldn't bother even thinking about it all, tbh..

I’d rather be called a girl than ‘hun’, which is what women on here call other women when they want to stick the boot in.

A lot of times it’s because we ask for it under the guise of “feminism”

Examples:
The whole movement against surrogacy is infantilising because it is based in saving women from their own decisions that other, richer, more privileged women think are poor decisions.

The periods/pregnancy/menopause makes women into gibbering incompetent wrecks so we need special treatment is infantilising because now we have literally no age during our work life where we are not a liability to an employer. All that should just be covered under regular sickness for the minority of women for whom the above becomes debilitating.

Being excluded from conscription or if we sign up to the armed forces to not have access to all the roles men do is infantilising.

The WASPI whingers claiming they had no idea their state pension age would be the same as for men because they didn’t get a personalised letter addressed especially to them because women can’t be expected to understand the news or look up how the state pension works on their own the poor little mites.

Bratz?