Page 10 | To make my daughter do ballet

Hairyragemachine · 2025-05-20T15:29:33+00:00

When I was 5, my mum enrolled me in ballet classes. I went to about six, then decided I didn't want to do it, so my mum took me out of them. I now have a 5 year old, who has just done her grade 1 ballet exam. However she now says she doesn't want to do it any more. There doesn't seem to be an underlying reason per se, I think she just finds it a drag to give up an hour of saturday morning. This week we had tears and a tantrum and eventually I gave up forcing it, as she had a bad night and very busy week. But should I allow her to just quit all together? Given it's so good for balance, confidence (she is a performer!), friendships (she has lots there) and discipline, posture... should I make her go for a bit longer? I wish my mum had not allowed me to just give up - or come to think of it to give up piano, violin, french, guides, tap dancing - lots of hobbies which I wish I was good at now and had stuck at. I needed her to be my self discipline until I was old enough to be my own. Or - is it mean to force a 5 year old to ballet (she also does tap and modern) when she doesn't want to go? What if she is missing out on a career as an international prima ballerina? Let me know what you think please!

dodobookends · 30/05/2025 15:32

Duotuoti · 30/05/2025 12:49

Even as a soloist the exact movement is choreographed not just the step but the eye movements, the breath, the eye brow raise, the slight pause before the movement, it is all choreographed, not much room at all for artistic expression IMO.

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Yes, I agree. Suffice to say that my dd's friend is a principal dancer with the Royal Ballet, and dd herself has been coached in solo variations by Darcey Bussell, Marianela Nunez and a number of other Principals. So I do know a little bit about it. I still dance myself now and then.

Any road up, we have digressed too far from the original OP, haven't we?

Calliopespa · 30/05/2025 23:36

dodobookends · 30/05/2025 15:32

Yes, I agree. Suffice to say that my dd's friend is a principal dancer with the Royal Ballet, and dd herself has been coached in solo variations by Darcey Bussell, Marianela Nunez and a number of other Principals. So I do know a little bit about it. I still dance myself now and then.

Any road up, we have digressed too far from the original OP, haven't we?

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Goodness do you? I reckon I’d rupture something if I tried to dance now. Anything that involved lifting my legs up around waist height and I’d be done for.

dodobookends · 31/05/2025 00:29

Calliopespa · 30/05/2025 23:36

Goodness do you? I reckon I’d rupture something if I tried to dance now. Anything that involved lifting my legs up around waist height and I’d be done for.

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😂I do a class for people of - er - mature years. We spend more time talking about our relative ailments than actually dancing!

YankSplaining · 31/05/2025 02:24

WomenInSTEM · 20/05/2025 16:31

I was made to do ballet for 12 years. Let her choose what hobbies she does.

My parents made me take piano lessons for twelve years. “l’ve met so many adults who’ve said they wish their parents had never let them quit.” Well, I’m the adult who wishes her parents had let her quit. I didn’t have any natural aptitude for it and I never expressed an interest in the piano in the first place.

youredreaming · 31/05/2025 02:25

Poor child. Stop trying to live vicariously through her. She's FIVE. Let her play after school.

Caligirl80 · 31/05/2025 02:29

Don't force her - waste of your money. Instead ask her what she would like to do instead: hobbies and exercise are super important - and are so much easier to get into when one is her age. If not ballet then what else? Football? Gymnastics? Karate? Most places will allow children to do a free taster session to see if they enjoy it - take her along to a few different things and see what clicks. Some kind of sport is so important - children don't get to move around nearly enough in school these days. As for other hobbies: there are so many! Something artistic is usually very helpful for good mental health - be it a drawing or pottery or woodwork class - anything that gets that part of her brain working will be helpful and tend to improve happiness levels.

PurpleThistle7 · 31/05/2025 05:44

Caligirl80 · 31/05/2025 02:29

Don't force her - waste of your money. Instead ask her what she would like to do instead: hobbies and exercise are super important - and are so much easier to get into when one is her age. If not ballet then what else? Football? Gymnastics? Karate? Most places will allow children to do a free taster session to see if they enjoy it - take her along to a few different things and see what clicks. Some kind of sport is so important - children don't get to move around nearly enough in school these days. As for other hobbies: there are so many! Something artistic is usually very helpful for good mental health - be it a drawing or pottery or woodwork class - anything that gets that part of her brain working will be helpful and tend to improve happiness levels.

This wee girl does tap, modern, gymnastics, swimming and drama. She’s only asking to quit ballet.

Hedwigowl · 31/05/2025 05:45

Thank you for the discussion about line and style. I hadn't realised it was so prescriptive. I can see now why my dd really didn't like it, she is very creative and hates following too much structure. We took her to a painting class where they made them recreate famous paintings and she hated the fact she couldn't put her own spin on them. I think when it comes to dance she wants to really express herself.

dottiedodah · 31/05/2025 06:00

I think there is so much pressure on kids now.saying that my own son had lots of hobbies. But if they don't want to do it you shouldn't push.DS decided to give up football at about 9.loves playing now with his work team.i think your mum was right to not push you.see if she would like to do something else, she's very small still.possibly wants home time with teddies for a little while

dodobookends · 01/06/2025 22:53

Hedwigowl · 31/05/2025 05:45

Thank you for the discussion about line and style. I hadn't realised it was so prescriptive. I can see now why my dd really didn't like it, she is very creative and hates following too much structure. We took her to a painting class where they made them recreate famous paintings and she hated the fact she couldn't put her own spin on them. I think when it comes to dance she wants to really express herself.

She might like contemporary dance more then.

Pyjamatimenow · 01/06/2025 22:59

Dd didn’t want to do dance. It was a battle getting her to go so I stopped it. She then started football and she gets a strop on if she has to miss it. I think you do have to let them try different things and find what they enjoy. If they don’t enjoy it it’s pointless.