Dh won’t let son wear a unisex hat that fits because it’s in was a woman’s size

[onlycoldperson]

Dh has an adidas beanie hat and ds likes to borrow it, however it’s a bit big as it’s a man’s size.
So I bought the exact same hat in a woman’s size because it was slightly smaller and it fits ds a treat but Dh won’t allow him to wear it because in his opinion he can’t wear a woman’s hat despite having the same unisex hat in men’s sizing himself.

It said women’s in the label which I cut out as it had a scissor Diagram on the label to indicate it should be cut out.
His issue is that he is not giving his son a woman’s hat despite it being unisex so it’s simply the size that stops it being the identical hat he wears.
AIBU to think this is pure misogyny? as his attitude towards him wearing something sized for a woman was that it would be demeaning for him.
I pointed out that he bought dd a football T-shirt from the boys section but he said that is different.

What does he think I'd going to happen?!

I'm wearing my husband's jumper today, haven't grown a penis so far.

I should mention it’s just a plain grey beanie hat with adidas in black writing.

Yep, definitely misogynistic. Imagine thinking so poorly of women that wearing a unisex style hat would be demeaning because it has the label 'woman' attached to it. You'd have to really have a problem with women to think that.

Yes, do ask him why.

(a) his penis will fall off
(b) he will turn into a girl overnight, like Orlando
(c) he will catch gayness from a hat

That is completely insane OP
Ask him to explain his reasoning. I bet he can't.
How can you respect someone who thinks like this? It's clearly not "just" a hat, as pp have said he's got some very weird inbuilt ideas about male and female. God forbid your ds wanted to dress up as a princess or drink from a pink bottle one day!

Your DH is quite correct, your son could catch gayness from the hat and it would all be your fault.

Tell your DH that he's an absolute numpty

Sorry you're married to such an idiot.

Another woman married to a total misogynistic twat.

What happens if you just ignore his rule, OP? Is there a punishment?

No but I’ve already come up with a plan to pretend I’ve exchanged the hat for one in the boys children’s section so I haven’t wasted my money or upset ds who was none the wiser and just happy to have the hat he likes in his size.

It blows my mind that you would invent an elaborate pretence about exchanging a perfectly good hat for an identical hat from another department rather than tell your DH he needs to deal with his own obvious gender anxiety and misogyny.

Yes this. In what world is it up to your DH to 'allow' your son to wear a hat or otherwise? Presumably he's over toddler age if he's wearing an (adult) woman's size hat, so doesn't he get a say?

Does he have any particular input into your son's clothes beyond this - would be interested to know. Does he for example buy the clothes/ wash, iron and put them away/ keep track of sizes/ ensure sufficient uniform, PE kit, and any clothing needed for hobbies AND make sure these are clean and available on the correct days, labelled with DS name and replaced once grown out of/ take him to have his feet measured and ensure he has appropriate, well fitting shoes for all seasons and activities? Etc etc? - not directly related I know but if he took responsibility for at least his share of all that stuff I might be more inclined to listen to his opinions about a hat (except I wouldn't really because his reasons are just so stupid).

Why make up some shit, tell he's being an utter knob and move on

He sounds unhinged! Loads of things are fairly unisex. Several members of our family have the same socks (white Nike ones) and same hoodies. If the hat said “I’m a girl” I could see his point that it’s not appropriate, but I completely fail to see how a grey beanie with a brand name on it has an connection to a particular gender/sex.

How do you cope with living with this level of stupidity?

I'm guessing this isn't the first time you have had to lie and jump through hoops to appease your DH. It's only going to kick the can down the road.

His reaction is so ridiculous thing that it's the perfect situation to tell him how ridiculous he's being and draw a line under it.

Sounds misogynistic and homophobic to me.

But mostly, he just sounds thick and lacking in any level of reasonable thought.

Unless he is a gem in all other areas of your life OP, I would find this worrying and most certainly off putting.

Of Course not but he was very offended when I called him a misogynist and was adamant he was no such thing so when I asked him why it mattered if it was woman’s he just smiled awkwardly and looked embarrassed at the idea.

WTF?

Stop it. Just tell your husband that he’s a knob and your son will be wearing the bloody hat.

Why on earth do so many women tolerate this sort of shit?

It’s probably shock because I always thought most men were misogynists but Dh seemed to understand and was different but this has shown me his internal misogyny is alive and working well.

Ha! Your husband would not have coped living in the smallish place I did 20 years ago when the best option for jeans for skinny teenage boys too small for men’s sizes but too big for children’s sizes was to wear women’s sizes for a couple of years. The jeans outfitters knew which styles would likely work without looking woman shaped and the teen boys didn’t tease each other about it because there weren’t any better alternatives! Too small a market for many shops with specific teen ranges or for enough range of waist sizes in the men’s ranges for the 15 year old boys.

Why on Earth are you pandering to his misogynistic stupidity? I would just laugh at him. He can be offended you called him misogynistic but he is. Misogynistic and completely stupid.

It's beyond misogyny, it's just sheer stupidity.

The hats are identical, the company just put different labels on them.

if he's so threatened in his masculinity, does he suffer from problems in the bedroom? That would be my only explanation.

I can’t begin to fathom what planet I’d have to live on, to allow my husband to dictate what kind of hat my child wore

I always thought most men were misogynists

they really are not. It's not a label that comes attached to their penis.