Dh won’t let son wear a unisex hat that fits because it’s in was a woman’s size

[onlycoldperson]

Dh has an adidas beanie hat and ds likes to borrow it, however it’s a bit big as it’s a man’s size.
So I bought the exact same hat in a woman’s size because it was slightly smaller and it fits ds a treat but Dh won’t allow him to wear it because in his opinion he can’t wear a woman’s hat despite having the same unisex hat in men’s sizing himself.

It said women’s in the label which I cut out as it had a scissor Diagram on the label to indicate it should be cut out.
His issue is that he is not giving his son a woman’s hat despite it being unisex so it’s simply the size that stops it being the identical hat he wears.
AIBU to think this is pure misogyny? as his attitude towards him wearing something sized for a woman was that it would be demeaning for him.
I pointed out that he bought dd a football T-shirt from the boys section but he said that is different.

perhaps it's like a Gay sorting hat from Harry Potter? Hmmmm, straight, bisexual, gay, let me see!

Well, we have a different view on this. For what it's worth, yes, I do think this is about social and gender categories and how these are regulated through everyday interactions. I am sure DH has not considered any of this, but calling him misogynist won't help either.

Fragile masculinity.

Yes your husband is a total idiot. As boys grow there are often times that women's sizes/equipment is most suitable for them until they become man size. It's not a women's hat, it is a hat in a size that mostly fits women. And growing boys.

My nephew used a set of women's golf clubs on the advice of the pro for a couple of years once he outgrew children's clubs but wasn't able to manage men's ones. Imagine if my brother had insisted he play with the wrong size because there was something lesser about using the ones that suited him best? Sexist nonsense, and a very bad example to your children.

@Pedallleur

'Please sorting hat, I think I'm trans'
'We'll have none of that shite here potter, go sit with the bisexuals'.
'But I thought you let people choose their identity'
'We had to stop that, it was getting out of hand'

'... But I'll send Draco Malfoy over because the chemistry you had with him was far better than that Ginny girl'.

He probably doesn't see it as misogyny because he's not being directly discriminatory towards a woman - but it is definitely fragile masculinity.

My DH has never displayed any fragile masculinity, and if he did, as the dad of two girls who've been brought up to be very vocal feminists, he would absolutely get torn a new one by all three of us.

But I would also not be able to resist winding him up afterwards by commenting of anything that he did that could in anyway be seen as for women

Drinking anything but tea or beer - "Isn't that drink a bit girly - don't you need something more manly like builders tea or ale?"

"Oh yes dear, I know we've had meat and two veg for tea every night for the past week, but we wouldn't want you to catch femininity by eating anything other than a good old fashioned 'mans meal' - yes, I know you love pasta, but you wouldn't want to end up turning into Bruno Tolioni now would you?"

"I've made the spare bed up for you - can't have you sleeping in our bed, the bedding has pink in it - what if it makes your penis drop off overnight"

I’m glad someone understands the risks involved. Honestly, all the others are so blinkered.

Don't, for the love of god, do this.

While this is all very funny and all, there is a more serious consideration here in that if you let this slide, you are teaching your child that this kind of misogyny is acceptable, and so the cycle continues with the next generation growing up with the same shitty attitudes.

Stuff like this needs to be challenged, especially at home when it comes to the attitudes and outlooks on things like equality you pass on.

Your "D"H is absolutely pathetic and there is no way you should be pandering to this rubbish. I bought my teenage DS a pair of these in M&S women's section yesterday and I didn't give DH any say, just told him the funny story of how he falls between the boys' shorts which are too small and the men's shorts which are too big, so this was the solution. They look cool and slouchy on DS.

Pure Cotton Denim Bermuda Shorts | M&S Collection | M&S IE

Your DH is a tit. Have you told him he is? Because if not, then you should.

This would be so infuriating for me

Why would you panda to such misogyny?

That's just odd. Ask him to show you the difference between that hat and his hat.

Tell him I dress my DS in pink/flowery babygrows and that his penis hasn't fallen off yet! The absolute batshittery of the man is beyond me.

Or divorce him.

Thats spelt pander rather than panda 🐼

He has a womans hat!! thats it. OP is right. Say it was swapped for a straight hat and work on the husband. lose the battle win the war

He's a complete fucking idiot.

My late lovely DH was a biker… long hair, tattoos etc, all the stereotypes (as it were)

He pinched my very stretchy skinny jeans as they were a tight fit under his bike leathers and were an ideal extra layer for warmth in the winter. Some of his equally “blokey” biker mates used to wear thick women’s tights under their leathers in the winter.

In their group, it was the done thing for extra layers that were close fitting. Nobody thought it made them “gay”

My DS rode a trike (motorbike adaption) years after his Ddad had passed away. When we met up for Christmas, guess what he was wearing under his leathers?
👖 his girlfriends jeans!

Your DH needs to grow-up.

LOL @ some responses

YANBU OP
Your DH would have died a death had he seen my now 33 year old son, prancing about in my high heels and a shower head protector thing like a tutu round his waist.. He was only 4 though. .

Thanks! Stupidly I did have it as pander first then changed it and did wonder on the etymology of the word.

Wow! How did he explain his reasoning? That’s one of the daftest things I’ve heard on here! He’d have a panic attack in my house, my teen son and I are always borrowing each others clothes and shoes

@KarmenPQZ ,it was a fun mistake. I'm all for 🐼-ing to it.

PANDARUS Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster

Well if we’re going down this route @ClareVoiance then maybe we should suggest OP tells her husband he must have made a mistake and HIS hat must also be for women and see if that causes panda-monium

He might need a physical examination. Maybe the titfer has made him grow tits.