Dh won’t let son wear a unisex hat that fits because it’s in was a woman’s size

[onlycoldperson]

Dh has an adidas beanie hat and ds likes to borrow it, however it’s a bit big as it’s a man’s size.
So I bought the exact same hat in a woman’s size because it was slightly smaller and it fits ds a treat but Dh won’t allow him to wear it because in his opinion he can’t wear a woman’s hat despite having the same unisex hat in men’s sizing himself.

It said women’s in the label which I cut out as it had a scissor Diagram on the label to indicate it should be cut out.
His issue is that he is not giving his son a woman’s hat despite it being unisex so it’s simply the size that stops it being the identical hat he wears.
AIBU to think this is pure misogyny? as his attitude towards him wearing something sized for a woman was that it would be demeaning for him.
I pointed out that he bought dd a football T-shirt from the boys section but he said that is different.

Ok, picture of both hats side by side please. Given DH wouldn’t even have known if it weren’t for the label, Is it only the label or is the design itself slightly different?

Dh won’t allow him to wear it because in his opinion he can’t wear a woman’s hat

Allow him? Fucking hell.
It's not a woman's hat - it's a hat. Smaller sizes fit women and children and larger sizes fit men. Adidas are marketing it in a way that will sell the most.

I hope none of his ignorant opinions have been voiced within earshot of your son.

I hate this train of thinking. He believes that womanhood and femininity is so inferior to maleness that it reduces the man who associates with it. He’s probably too thick to even realise that this is what he believes too.

I'm sorry, but that's mad. Why can't you just stand your ground and say, don't be stupid, DS likes it, end of story? Why on earth would you pander to this nonsense, unless you're scared of him?

Would he allow a daughter to wear mens clothing? If not, then he's not being misogynistic (thinking men are better than women), but just a boring idiot.
If he thinks it's ok for girls and women to wear boys and mens clothes then yes, he's being misogynistic.

Or secretly longs to dress up in a basque and stockings?

I wear my husband's hoodies, nothing sinister has happened to me! Your husband is being ridiculous!! It's an identical hat to your husband's but sized smaller and labelled as a woman's - you've cut the label out! So the only people who know it's come from the woman's section is you and your husband! Your son isn't going to grow boobs! You need a conversation with your husband! His reasoning is irrational.

That's not internal misogyny, OP. That is well and truly out there.

What would have happened if you'd stood your ground?

It's really weird for a guy who has such fixed ideas about masculinity and femininity to be so fragile about such a small issue. Surely the more 'macho' option would be to encourage your ds to make his own choices, not to be led by wanting acceptance from strangers.

Obviously your dh is a misogynist, and that must be a tricky thing to find out. Tbh he sounds like a weak guy who can't prioritise his family above a need to people-please strangers. It's kinda of pathetic.

Wtf? I don't really have much else to say OP, bizarre behaviour from your DH.

I know this sounds dramatic but I couldn’t be with someone like that! It is a fucking hat.

I couldn’t with this level of stupidity, having a tantrum and not letting him wear it even though they’re identical but the women’s is smaller. Don’t mess around pretending to exchange, just tell him to get a grip

Your husband is beyond moronic. Do not humour him. Tell him beanie hats are unisex and always have been. He must be very very threatened by the mere concept of homosexuality and gender confusion.
I wonder why, maybe you should ask him?

If your husband thinks is demeaning for your son to wear a women’s hat he is clearly showing you what he thinks of women.

Don’t lie and pretend you bought a boys hat. Tell him that it is not acceptable and he needs to set a better example to his children. If he can’t change then I don’t know why you’d want to be married who thinks that you’re inferior.

This is the hat I bought ds with the label I cut from it and in the second pic you can see the same hat in a man’s size, I don’t know where Dh hat is at the moment but it’s the colour of ds in the first pic.

Besides the facet it's all really stupid! Why on earth did you tell him it's from the women's section if you know what he is like?

They have different colour logos. He probably thinks grey is inferior to black writing. I’d get one with pink writing. That’ll shut him up 😂

@onlycoldpersonAre you sacred of him?

Hang on, if they are both black writing on a grey hat then it’s bonkers. They will look identical 😳

My ex bil wouldn’t let his ds, aged 6 at the time, leave the house wearing his sister’s nail varnish. And bil was a social worker!
However he was also from Yorkshire.

I mean the ship has well sailed but like fuck would I be married to someone with this attitude. Your attempts to 'smooth' it over aren't much better tbh..

Ugh your DH sounds awful

What a twit your DH is! Does he have any idea how ridiculous he is being? Does he think the hat will beam lady thoughts into your son's head?

But this isn’t light misogyny. It’s quite extreme. How did you think he was ‘one of the good ones.’ It beggars belief