To be sad over this or am I overreacting?

[maria2bela1]

It’s my birthday today. I have young children. Whenever my birthday approaches my husband always mentions getting me a present but then talks about savings and money, so I just say don’t get me anything. In the past presents or days out always have to be prompted by me so these days I just give up and think forget it. My kids came and gave me hug and kiss and said happy birthday this morning, but I couldn’t help but feel sad that he didn’t even get them a card to give to me or a little bunch of flowers. Whilst having breakfast he said oh I didn’t know what to get you (been married over a decade) and I’ll get you something, I just said no problem don’t worry. I was really upset as on his birthdays and Father’s Day I always get him presents. He usually makes comments like ‘oh what you getting for my birthday then’ beforehand so I know he likes presents etc. Other than this he pays all the rent/bills and is a good dad so perhaps he feels this is good enough, which it is, but I had a good cry when he left this morning but don’t know if I’m being a brat or not.

You are not being a brat, it isn't wrong to want to have your birthday properly acknowledged. I find it strange that when his birthday approaches he asks what you are getting him, but when yours does he mentions lack of finances? Start playing him at his own game, fathers day is just around the corner, don't acknowledge it and when he asks tell him "well you know, savings and money, nothing left to get you anything" see how he likes it. Stop being scared to tell him what you want, when he next says "oooh savings and money" tell him "you'll work something out, I'd like ........" Happy Birthday, go out and buy yourself something nice and stop off at a cafe for a tea/coffee and cake xx

I had a similar thing happen on mother's day- he asked if I wanted a Chinese takeaway the night before (nothing unusual as we have them quite often), and the next morning I got a card and a coffee in bed. That was my present- a takeaway that everyone shared! Then he couldn't understand why I was upset 🙄

Happy Birthday! It’s sad that you don’t think more of yourself and have ended up with this waste of space!

You need to return his energy and do fuck all for his birthday/ any special day.
If/when he says anything respond with "I'm just matching the energy you put into my birthday/mothers day/Christmas present. If you up your game I'll match your energy & up mine"

Yes, father’s Day get the children to make a card but that’s it. Tell him it’s because he said he was worried about the bills!

Well you deserve it then. Why do you martyr yourself, then you get what you asked for which is nothing.

why do you then go and spoil him with gifts after being treated so badly? Then you deserve it for being so foolish.

harsh, but you literally got what you asked for.