Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

If you're like best freinds then act like one op. For crying out loud. You asked the question and you got told. Sick to death of these threads where the op asks a question only to defend their position as if they are in court. Leave your poor sister alone.. you keep saying you're both honest with each other and you have already been 'honest' so give it up now. You are controlling by the way. Giving your opinion isn't controlling its this obsession you have that is. Get over yourself.

There's nothing wrong with those invitations, they're bright and cheerful, imo. Just relax and let her enjoy herself.

@Payets
I get the impression that you consider having “good taste”, by which I think you mean taste that appeals to a certain type of person, or those wishing to emulate a certain type of person, as “superior” to those who choose not to emulate the same sort of demographic.

You thought that posters were having a dig at you for being a woman who says she is good at something, but I think that in reality posters are reacting to something else.

There are things you can consider, the wording on an invitation, how easy the calligraphy is to read, etc but when it comes to the decoration there’s no “better way”! It’s purely subjective, but some people really do find it difficult to comprehend the idea that what they personally prefer isn’t the objective “best”.

Furthermore, these people tend to use their objective, whatever it may be, without considering whether the person in question has the same focus.

Some women always only choose clothes to make them look slimmer, or only in colours that compliment their skin tone or only from certain makes. Others choose for comfort or to follow a certain aesthetic or simply to wear what is the current fashion.

If friends ask for an opinion I tend to think about whether their choices fit what I know about their personality, taste and what they value, not my own, because it’s not objective information.

Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”.

Seriously?

Who can be bothered about a trivial detail like this?

No-one keeps wedding invitations. All it needs to say is a time, place and date. Ribbon tying and wax seal applying is just unnecessary faff.

I believe you and I imagine if your sister gave you the opportunity, you’d design something to her taste that was classier and more aesthetically pleasing than what she could achieve.

But that’s not the point, the point is she doesn’t want you to. As someone who is very design oriented myself, sometimes people just don’t want the effort of thinking about that. They want stress free planning and if that means picking the first things they see online, so be it. Your relationship is more important than the way the wedding looks so please don’t stress her out by offering opinions on her design choices anymore.

I just enjoyed the whole “I’m very detail orientated” as I read the mistakes in the post.

The floral border is completely fine for an invitation. I would think that’s quite a bright and cheerful invitation to receive. The two that you have attached, whilst I can see that they are objectively more fashionable/of the moment, they are boring.

I would save your honest opinion for something that actually matters. The invitations will end up in the bin anyway.

Tbh I don’t think the people receiving the invites pay that much attention to what they look like, do they? Surely it’s a case of open it, transfer dates into the family calendar. Stick it on the fridge with a magnet for a week or two and then it gets binned. Or is that just me? I’d say chill and leave her to it.

100% keep quiet

It's only a wedding invite and it's obviously what she likes and she's happy with her choice. Are you always this controlling and opinionated? Why do you care so much?

One has the impression the OP will feel it’s her taste on display at this wedding. Anyone who seriously uses the self-designation ‘Type A personality’ appears to genuinely think that ‘friends don’t let friends go out in an outfit that makes their arse look big’, and that in preventing this heinous act, which is their responsibility, they are in fact doing something worthy.

They imagine people thinking ‘How did Barbara let Angela go out wearing that?’ ‘How did Eliza let Maria choose thst wedding stationery?’

People literally put these in the recycling
I don't think anyone really cares about them

I like it and no one apart from those who like to get over involve likes to criticise gives the design of the invention a second thought

Those ones you've attached are dull, and what's with the dried flowers? They'll just get chucked. I've no idea why a wax seal is even a thing?
As you can see, taste is subjective.

Wax sealing and ribbon tying? It’s a bit of paper that pretty much everyone will glance at, add to their phone calendar and chuck in the recycling. If anything the wax/whatever fancy thing is stuck to it will make it harder to recycle.

Some people just send out email invites as 100 paper invites is yet another expense.

The wedding industry is out of control and incredibly wasteful.

Did you offer your ribboning and wax sealing services by showing your sister examples of menus she should use instead of floral boarded invitations?

Neither are better styles. One suggests a less formal wedding the other suggest a more fussy wedding.

Wax seal . Dried grass. Yuk.

Good taste is simplicity and a decent font.

In my view.

Could be.. but it's delusional and controlling regardless and doesn't fit the post of should I just be honest. Op has already been honest but has a problem in accepting no for an answer. There's no justification at this level of obsession, in fact its deeply offensive, its just a wedding invite.. it's going to be a long life if this is how someone close to you behaves...

I thought that - especially from someone “detail oriented”!!

Yes I think we’re saying the same thing…

Yes, and a good deal less pretentious and wasteful.

If your sister likes that kind of border she's got a very different wedding to you. Going by that I'd say she's looking for easy going and laid back whereas your concept is more formal.

You'll have your own wedding to plan so let her her do it her way. It's worth pointing out that easy going and laid back (and colourful) can be more of an enjoyable and joyous occasion where something is less likely to go wrong.

FGS Hyacinth pipe down. She's your sister not your clone.

I've only kept two Wedding invitations, one in a photograph album with photos of the day (25 years ago) and one where the groom was unwell and who subsequently passed away. I don't even have the invite from my friend of 45 years' wedding which was 33 years ago.

What, precisely, do you not understand about @Avatartar's comment?

I so wish i could go back and get all the moment I spent on trendy ‘must have’ tat that wedding magazines encouraged me to buy (plus the wedding magazines themselves). I didn’t even go that mad, I made most of it myself - but still what a waste of time and money.
OP, your wax seals will be ‘dated’ next year and new brides will be spending their money on some other nonsense, but your sister will have £X left in her pocket for being wise enough to avoid all that silliness!