Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

Wow OP you're getting slated in these replies!
I totally agree with you. My sister is also getting married this year and I would have the same thoughts as you in terms of that border. Very kind of you to offer to do ribbon/wax seals, they're exspensive!
I would show her a few examples of what you could make for her and if she doesn't want them then so be it.

Kindly OP your own taste seems pretty awful. Luckily your sister has had the decency not to tell you that

Exactly. You lost me at ribbons and wax seals, I’m with your sister on this, wtf is that all about !

When was the last time she was brutally honest with you?

Jeez this is horrible. Have you considered that your sister chose those invites because she looked at them and liked them???

What makes you qualified to tell her otherwise? Your taste is not better than hers, its different.

So?

I like her style far more than your style, and as her style is clearly not to your liking you should stop offering your criticisms/honest to god opinions and just be supportive of her wedding plans.

I think it’s worth noting that taste is personal. We all think we have good taste because we all like what we like. Your taste isn’t better than hers, just different. If you planned her wedding you’d plan one that you liked, of course people would complement you- they complement everyone on things like that.

I think going forward you need to remember that you don’t have better design or clothing tastes than her, just different.

OP, you are getting a really hard time here, some posters have been really horrible - it's sad how some people just love to lay into a person given an opportunity.
I agree with you, the flower border one looks more like a kids party invitation and I would expect an expensive wedding to have a more classy invites to go with it. I actually really like the ribbon and wax ones you posted.
I'm like you, really close to my sister and we can tell each other everything, so I know where you are coming from.
Hope everything turns out well with invites and the wedding!

The way you’ve worded the OP too ‘no word of a lie’, seriously it’s a nice invitation. Making shit choices? Bloody hell that’s drastic.

Even if she sent the invitations on a plain bit of A4 paper written in felt tip would it matter?

I really like the border. Really cheerful and happy vibe for me. I love colourful flowers!

I also couldn't describe ANY wedding invitations I've ever received. I know I've thought some looked like they must have taken a lot of time and effort to make but I still don't remember what they actually looked like. Your sister is right - as long as they impart the relevant information clearly, they don't matter.

Does it still give the OP the right to say her sister is making a shit choice because she wants something for her own wedding? Why should she conform to other people’s tastes for her own event?

This thread has been a revelation to me for the people who unironically describe themselves as ‘Type A personalities’ and think it means their role in life is to prevent other people from exercising their own, less exquisite, taste.

Well, that and the sealing wax place cards.

No wedding guest has ever said "Lovely wedding, shame about the invitation design."

You're sounding insufferable so far, sorry.
No wonder she's getting annoyed.
You're wondering if you should sit back and "let" her make shit choices (let?!")
Just because you don't like them doesn't mean they're wrong!
We all have different tastes.
You've said your opinion (fair enough) now step back and sit down and let her do it her way, which is perfectly nice too.

When it comes to weddings family and friends should just smile adoringly at everything the bride shows you.

If she’s having champagne out of old bean tins say ‘how genius! How forward thinking and how exquisite’

If she’s wearing 70s orange hot pants with a Madonna bra and a veil made from an antique table cloth tie dyed in lemon and lilac while carrying a bouquet made from camping utensils - gasp at her beauty and reach for that admiring smile…

In other words do what you like on your day and keep your nose out of the brides choices.

I’d make a joke out of it. Tell her you need to speak to her. You’ve had sleepless nights and you have to get something off your chest as you have grave concerns about the upcoming wedding. She’ll worry and you then say ‘the invites are fucking gross and look like something Marjory would send to Enid and Joan inviting them to the annual WI garden party.’

Exactly, I've been to loads over the years and I honestly can't remember a single invitation design 😁
They'll have got bunged on the fridge under a magnet or shoved in a drawer 😂

Jokes are supposed to be funny.

Some people do remember though.

We are just all put together differently and notice different things.

Realistically you’d have to say something thing about a Madonna bra.

I’m all for just letting the invitations go.

Urm, I like the border - even more so if the theme of the wedding is bright colours and quite light hearted… wax seals are a bit try hard for me, because who actually does care?! You time on this earth is finite so why waste hours on something people will give no consideration to?!

But I did e-invites for my low stake wedding so we’re clearly coming from different places.

My point is your opinion isn’t right and hers isn’t wrong. Her invitations are just fine if that’s what she wants, you’ve shared your opinion and she doesn’t care.

ETA: Oh, and people like the way I dress and the way I decorate my house, and I’ve since had plenty of positive comments about my wedding - I don’t live in some sort of style void. The pics you’ve shared of the wax seals are nice, but totally unnecessary and not the only option.

I'm another vote for a proper stiffie, good quality card stock with nice simple text. No frou frou pot pourri Pinterest shit. Your sister's choice is fine, it sounds like it embarrasses you though and kindly, that's a Hyacinth Bucket style you problem.

I have a similar relationship with my sister and I am the you, the type A (we do a hobby and she is so slapdash and I am uptight but I don't need to comment on her lack of perfection as she's happy with it). She would tell me if my arse looks bad in something or if I was being a dick and vice versa but this invite business is such a nothing.

As Marie says in When Harry Met Sally 'Everyone thinks they have good taste and a sense of humour but they couldn't possibly all have good taste'. Don't get wrapped up in your own 'good taste'

We are just all put together differently and notice different things

Very true, which is why OP needs to let her sis do her own thing re invitations as she has different taste to her and not dismiss them as "shit choices".

If you want to suggest fancy google indian wedding invites, they are amazing!