Should I give my honest to God opinion or just keep quiet?

[Payets]

So my sister and I are very close. It’s the kind of relationship where I could say “you can’t out in that you look hideous”. There would be no fallout as it’s recognised it’s coming from a good place.

Anyway, she’s getting married and we are just very different. I’m more detail oriented and type A. Where is a little slap dash and low effort.

I would say I have good taste and friends often ask me to go furniture or clothes shopping with them.

Sister showed me her wedding invites and they were truly awful. I shared alternatives. Said they were a little dated. Offered my services re ribbon tying and wax seal applying. But sister was like “who gives a shit”. I can tell she is getting annoyed.

No word of a lie she had used a border not too dissimilar to the one I had attached. Her wedding is very much not cheap either!

Do I change the habit of a lifetime and allow her to make shit choices??

Im very aware it’s her wedding so will for say “and the end of the day it’s up to you, it’s your wedding”.

I agree and think your invitations are a bit old fashioned looking, compared to your sisters.

dh and I were booked into a hotel like that on an island. It had been described as a charming and homely B and B. We had imagined things like a scrubbed wooden kitchen table that had seen much kneading of local bread dough etc.

But no, it was stencilling gone wild. It was really awkward as when the lady showed us the room, throwing back the door with a flourish, you could see her waiting for the compliments. It was all I could do not to visibly gag!

She asked you which design you liked, you answered, she doesn't want you to go on about it and you've dropped it.

All sounds fair enough to me.

I too have a relationship with my sister where we are honest with each other. Only we'll call a twat a twat. And that's what we love and appreciate about each other. I think we all need someone in our lives who can say to us well that's bloody stupid and then you both burst out laughing.

Just forget about the invites now, go dress shopping with her and have fun together.

I think you're making your sister insecure by having branded yourself as a "style expert". Let her have her personnality and respect her taste even if it's far away from yours. You do sound a bit condescending with a superiority complex.

Stay out of it. It’s only invites. It doesn’t matter.

What is awful to you is beautiful to her and you aren’t the authority on all things beautiful.

You're wrong and you have overstepped. Why are you making her feel bad about her wedding choices. This isn’t very sisterly.

Don't you just have different tastes and for your sister's wedding it is what she likes? If she is a bit vague about logistics I would help her (if she wants it) with the bigger things she needs to actually have a wedding, rather than worrying about the invitation style.

This is a monumental waste of time, energy, and resources. Literally none of your guests will care about this. If you want to make sure your guests have a great time, spend the money on a band or an extra couple of bottles of wine. This is just the rubbish that gets swept away at the end of the night.

Sounds like she’s over your kind of brutal
sisterly honesty! Leave her be, it sounds like your way or the highway.

I wouldn’t worry about the invitations. If she was making a terrible choice on her dress then yes speak up, but invitations whether cheap and tacky or luxurious and classy all end up in the bin anyway so if she’s getting annoyed just say nothing more about it.

The vibe I'm getting from your sister's taste is happy, vibrant, and fuss-free; whereas yours is prissy, try-hard, greige, siszilla. I know which wedding I'd rather attend. Leave her be.

This is probably the right approach op.

Completely missing the point but I love a wax seal. I bought my own from the gift shop of a castle we visited and I like to use it at every opportunity. Family birthday card? Wax seal. Reply to a speeding ticket? Wax seal.

I imagine it’s a lot of stress to organise a wedding.

Best to be supportive of her choices, unless it’s something that might affect the celebrations, in which case gently and constructively ask if she’s considered it.

The design of invitations is pretty irrelevant. As long as they give all the necessary information clearly. Most will go in the bin after the wedding. Little point in spending time, effort and money if she’s not bothered.

For what it’s worth, I rather like the one you’ve shared. Fun, retro and maximalist. If I received that invite, I’d get the impression the hosts were planning a joyful, relaxed and fun day.

You sound ridiculous, sorry.

Looking on Papier, Zazzle etc there's loads of flower border wedding ivites and I think they look lovely.

I think people are being overly harsh.on OP here.

I still write handwritten letters and I want one of those personalised embossers. Quite naff, but IDGAF.

I'm getting Mrs Elton vibes from OP.

"I do not profess to be an expert in the field of fashion (though my friends say I have quite the eye) but I can tell you, there is a shocking lack of satin!"

Wax sealing and ribbons sounds OTT to me OP. If those invites are representative of your sister then I don't see any problem.

wax seal and ribbons! Some people dont care about wedding invitations. I couldnt have cared less. I would rather spend money on the actual wedding then fannying around with wedding invitations and it seems your sister is the same. You made a suggestion and she said no. I dont understand the obsession with 'brutal honesty'. You have already been honest. You dont need to go back and be brutal about it. You dont like it and you suggested an alternative. Shes not stupid. She understood she just wants to go her own way. You seem way too invested (despite saying otherwise) on what you sister should do for her own wedding. I have been invited to lots of wedding and the only invitation I can remember is the one that was a magnet as it is still on my fridge. I also thought 'why would you spend money on a wedding invitation magnet'. But hey, not my wedding, not my magnet monkeys.

‘So very like Maple Grove!’ 😀

I’m with your sister, who gives a shit. It would be different if she asked for your opinion or help, but she hasn’t so don’t think about this again.

I like the flower border one, it's fun and bright.

Also the last few weddings I have attnded have been email invites only, no one really gives a shit abot formal wedding invitations any more. Spend the money saved in more cake and/or booze.

@Payets

You just say

'TBH I don't like any of them much but you and I have very different tastes so go for the one you like the best. If you want me to have a look at some alternatives, let me know - I am sensing you want a bright floral border - I can have a look on google later, if you want me to.'

I think that’s a nice border ?? Modern fresh

I didn’t have ribbons and wax seals as I felt that was dated

everyone has different tastes

I thought you were going to say she’s getting married and picked frilly pyjamas or a sluty basque as her outfit and looks awful in them

this is only the invites which do not matter at all they just need all the info correct and in detail