WIBU if I complain about this teacher?

[Throwawaymama]

I need impartial advice in an awful situation.

my son (14) has got into a fight today at school. I am not happy about this obviously. Lots of stuff going on and I’m looking at getting him help.

There has been back and forth drama between him and another boy for the past few weeks, and today this other boy was being kept in isolation at lunch with his head of year (boy is year below so it’s a different HOY). I don’t know why but he was with her all afternoon.

my son has found out where he was and gone storming into the room with 3 of his friends (again this is NOT okay) and started to punch this boy.

here’s the bit I’m not happy with.

the head of year has forcibly got in the middle and told my son to get out - he did - but as he turned round again to say something to the other boy she has pushed him away from her and again screamed at him to get out. She’s not big or tall and she didn’t hurt him.

WIBU to complain about the teacher doing this? I thought they weren’t allowed to put hands on students?

throwaway for obvious reasons.

I would be so ashamed. Chocolates and an apology would go a little way to assuaging that.

Wtf have I just read?! This is why kids grow up to be entitled arseholes. They expect their parents to rush in and defend them even when they're massively in the wrong.

You need to accept that if your kid is going to be violent then people are going to use reasonable force to stop him. Our staff literally do positive handling training for this very reason.
I doubt that she waited until his back was turned and shoved him. There will probably be CCTV and you can ask for the teacher to give their side, but don't make a complaint.

If your son was the one being attacked, what would you think then?

Parents like you are the reason our society is the way it is.

Jesus Christ are you serious, your son went looking for a fight and attacked another boy, and your are moaning that the teacher split them up and put her hands on your son.
And I think you should be “not happy with” your son attacking somebody unprovoked rather than how it was split up.

I’ve read some batshit stuff on here, but you win for me!

Are you also going to complain in a few years about the police when their throwing him in prison. Or blame his future girlfriends when he puts them in hospital. Open your eyes and help your son otherwise it will end really badly

And in court in a few years' time before he gets sent down.

She was caught in the middle of a volatile situation and breaking it up as quickly as possible. She probably felt threatened.

If your son is this unstable I'm sorry but I wouldn't trust his version of events (she pushed him after he'd already started walking away).

I get you're in a horrible situation as a parent, but focus your energies on getting your son in line and not on the poor teacher caught in the middle of that disgusting behaviour by your son.

Your son was obviously in the wrong here as you know - it sounds like the teachers were doing their best in a stressful situation and they didn't know what he was about to do. Your focus should be on addressing your son's behaviour, rather than nitpicking at the response from the poor teachers!

Violent boys grow into violent men. I'd be very frightened in your shoes.

OP you are being sooooo unreasonable. Stop wasting time over this and concentrate on your son who clearly needs a LOT of help right now.

Exactly. I hope that teacher reports your son to the police and he's charged with assault.

How could she have done it if he was walking away? If he was walking out the room, he would have had his back to her because he was leaving.
Your ds is getting into problems with a younger pupil. That in itself isn’t good. Then he so little control of his temper that he goes looking for the boy to restart the argument despite knowing he’s with a member of staff. He clearly has some anger and aggression issues.
I would imagine it was a stressful situation having an angry teenage boy bursting into the room. I always told my boys, when they were at secondary school, that they could be physically intimidating to female members of staff and therefore please treat them with respect.
The only thing the school has done wrong here is not sent their teacher on a Team Teach course, which teaches teachers how to de escalate situations and restrain students when necessary.

If it were my son I would drag him to the school and make him apologise profusely to that poor head of year. As his Mother I would also apologise on his behalf. She has probably gone home traumatised tonight after a thug came in a started punching another pupil. That poor woman.

I would be utterly astounded that any parent would complain. She was defending the boy being attacked.

Wow. Just wow.

Please go and complain to the school because it will enable them to see what poor parenting is going on at home.

Damned if we do, damned if we don’t!

Flip the perspective to the other parents view…. My son was attacked by another child and the teacher stood by and didn’t intervene!

That poor teacher! And you want her punished for it? wtaf am I reading here?! There was a threat in the room and she wanted it removed in a reasonable way. Please tell us he's not upset a teacher pushed him under these circumstances?! Your parenting concerns are absolutely twisted.
If it was my son, I'd be taking him to her personally so he can apologise for scaring her and with a promise to not be a little thug in the future. It's rare that I'm gobsmacked but this... Wow.

Yes you would be unreasonable. Your child assaulted another in a premeditated attack. That is a crime. The teacher used reasonable force to prevent the other child being hurt. Of course they can physically prevent a student from beating another student.

You’re lucky if the police aren’t called to arrest your son.

Has it crossed your mind that the sort of boy that thinks it’s ok to punch other children in front of a senior teacher no less, might also be the sort of boy that talks shit and makes things up?

I wouldn't worry about a complaint regarding the teacher pushing your son.

I would lay cold hard cash that he's going to get PEXd.

You're lucky that the parents of the boy haven't called the police.

You said he turned around to say something. For all she knew he was about to assault the other child again. What was she supposed to do?!

The only thing the school has done wrong here is not sent their teacher on a Team Teach course, which teaches teachers how to de escalate situations and restrain students when necessary.
One teacher can't restrain 4 teenagers FFS, don't be ridiculous. One adult would struggle to physically restrain 4 * 7 year olds at once; 2 hands! She told them to leave, and she was ready to defend herself. She did well.

Of course they can put their hands on a student if defending another or defusing a situation. From what you have described, she HAD to intervene. She's not just going to stand there and accept your child throwing punches.

I'm struggling to believe this is real but, if it is, your only concern should be why your own child is behaving like a thug for this teacher to need to put her hands on him, rather than trying to get her into trouble. He is not hurt, she may have been. She put herself on the line to protect another student and defuse the situation. She should be applauded. Who'd be a teacher these days?

You both sound like bell ends.

So you wanted the teacher to just do nothing ? Just stand aside and let another child get beaten up ?
Thank god she did get him out of the room.
a female teacher confronted by three teen lads and tried to protect the one lone lad from injury and you wanted to report her !! The mind boggles.