WIBU if I complain about this teacher?

[Throwawaymama]

I need impartial advice in an awful situation.

my son (14) has got into a fight today at school. I am not happy about this obviously. Lots of stuff going on and I’m looking at getting him help.

There has been back and forth drama between him and another boy for the past few weeks, and today this other boy was being kept in isolation at lunch with his head of year (boy is year below so it’s a different HOY). I don’t know why but he was with her all afternoon.

my son has found out where he was and gone storming into the room with 3 of his friends (again this is NOT okay) and started to punch this boy.

here’s the bit I’m not happy with.

the head of year has forcibly got in the middle and told my son to get out - he did - but as he turned round again to say something to the other boy she has pushed him away from her and again screamed at him to get out. She’s not big or tall and she didn’t hurt him.

WIBU to complain about the teacher doing this? I thought they weren’t allowed to put hands on students?

throwaway for obvious reasons.

You say you are looking at getting him help?

Excellent!

Maybe enlist a boy in the year above him to give him a good kick up the arse. I think that would help him no end.

Then, march him into the school tomorrow and make him grovel to this poor teacher, whom he must have terrified.

If you don't want to that, take him out of school-away from the great privilege that is a free education-and keep him at home.

Good luck for the future! You will need it.

You're being unreasonable, she's one adult to four children, one who is clearly being aggressive, maybe if your son had walked out the first time she asked she wouldn't have had to move him with her hands. It's no different to adults pushing an aggressive individual back when they are trying to be aggressive towards someone.

Unfortunately if you want to act like the big man you'll be treated like one. It's absolutely reasonable. Teachers are actually trained in this and how to move students safely and with reasonable force.

That’s not what your first post said at all.

What a brave teacher putting herself in that position. Poor woman. Do the school a favour and withdraw your child.

Are you having a laugh? Your son is a violent yob and you are concerned about a teacher ushering him out of a room where he was attacking another kid with 3 of his friends? I think we can see why he's a yob.

After his dreadful behaviour it seems highly unlikely he's the sort of person to tell the truth anyway. He can't be trusted.

Edited as meant to write unlikely.

He clearly wasn’t. You said he stopped to then back around and talk to his friend. Which means she got in the middle of the fight, told him to leave, and watched/followed as he walked away then turned back around in the direction of her and the child he attacked. At that point, all she could see was another attack coming and she had to protect herself and the other child so she pushed him out of the door. Well done her.

If you cannot accept that she did what she needed to do and that your son is a danger to other children and adults then you are never going to fix the problem.

She did nothing wrong. Sort yourself out.

Your child is lying to you because you are so easily distracted from focusing on the real problem and dealing with his behaviour.

Oh grow up. No wonder teachers are leaving in droves.

I think she was actually really brave. Your son was violent and unpredictable and from her perspective he turned back around which probably felt like he was coming for another go.

To go and get 3 of his friends and enter a classroom in that way is so extreme and violent and whatever his issues I think you should be ashamed and horrified. Not considering whether to complain

No, you should be grateful she is in charge of the situation and not allowing him to go on being abusive. You should make him apologise to her and maybe send her some flowers. If it were my son he'd be grounded with no wifi or privileges for at least a week. What kind of adult do you want to raise?

You said yourself he had turned back.

she was trying to break up the situation. Your son was 100% the one in the wrong.

Aside from the fact that OP is on another planet, I cannot imagine a situation where he’s come home having assaulted someone but has the nerve to say “oh but the small female teacher pushed me”.

I imagine he knew his mother would focus on that, because I imagine she’s never bloody disciplined him ever if there was a chance to blame someone else.

You are so wrong and you can't even see it.

He was walking away ( per his version of evidents?) but still mouthing off and hot headed. She needed him out of there.

Good luck with your complaint when your position is:

• your son is abusive and is fighting with a younger child
• he gathers others to support him
• he assaults a younger child with the help of others somewhere he has no business bring and in the presence of a teacher

Not only is he violent, he's unbelievably stupid as well.

You really need to wise up and stop complaining about teachers and sort him out.

Wait… so you’re cross with a teacher who stepped in to stop your precious thug of son attacking a younger child with a gang of his friends?

This can’t be real!

Put yourself in her shoes, how bloody brave of her to stand between a gang of teenagers intent on battering another child.
Your first reaction should be complete shame and embarrassment of your sons behaviour, and wanting to apologise to the teacher/other child involved.
You should be utterly ashamed of your thug of a son, and of your reaction to his thuggish behaviour!
I really do think your reaction explains a lot about your son’s sense of entitlement that he can lay his hands on another person. Over-indulged children do often become complete out of control shits.

If you really think complaining about this teacher is a reasonable thing to do, you are the reason your son is behaving the way he is. You should be apologising to her for his appalling behaviour.

You are only judging her after the event. Imagine for a second being in the room when three boys who are potentially larger than her aggressively come into the room and attack a child who you have been monitoring. Firstly she's reacting in shock and has no idea how much more violent they are going to be. She is physically trying to shield the child from further attacks and then your son turns around again, rather than continuing to leave. What do you expect her to do? If it was your child being attacked, would you feel differently?

She's not hurt your child, she's acted as a barrier to him doing further harm. Yes she came in contact with your child but only to the extent of prevention of further attacks. I would be worried if she'd manhandled him for an extended period or hurt him but she hasn't. I expect it was a very traumatic and scary time for her. Your son chose to find out where the other child was being detained, they couldn't "escape" due to being in detention and your son has taken advantage of this. He's rounded up two mates for back up and come there with the intention to do harm. Focus on why he chose to do that.

Even if the story was different and she pushed him while he was on his way out, I would STILL think you were being unreasonable for complaining. The situation must have been very scary for a smaller teacher, outnumbered by violent teenage boys. She deserves an apology and a thank you. I feel awful for her.

Ha, yes.

Waste your time in complaining about hands being put on your precious diddles. Instead of addressing the real problem - the disgusting behaviour of the thick, aggressive thug you've raised.

The very fact you're even asking this questions is indicative of where the problems have begun.

Is this a joke?

Your little darling and his 3 mates were in school and tracked another child into a room with a teacher?

And in front of the female teacher he carried out an attack on the other child?

And had to be physically blocked from the attack by the female teacher?

And came back at the female teacher and the child for another go?

And you think your little darling should not have been blocked in his attack?

Do the school a big favour throw a strop and pull your little darling out asap.🙄

He is 14 try thinking about how much prison time could attach to his little adventure because that where he will end up.

She did your son a favour by pulling him away from the other boy! If she’d have done nothing you would be pulling your face that he’s getting in trouble with the Police.
She protected the other boy from being seriously hurt and also prevented your son from getting in to big trouble. She used reasonable force in a very stressful situation.

Your son will end up in jail and you will only have yourself to blame. She should 't put her hands on him? Yes she should, she has a duty of care for all children not only yours! Yourbson and three others started punching the poor boy, what was she supposed to do, appalud them? If it was your son being punched you would have thought the same, she should have left them punching him? You are insane! I really hope your son gets the experience of a jail cell, maybe this will wake him up as you for sure won't!

Take some responsibility for your thuggish and dangerous child rather than trying to deflect the blame elsewhere!

It's rare to see a 100% vote for YABU.

Why are you lying? Your op, YOUR op, literally says he turned back around to start on the younger boy again. YOU said that. So he wasnt walking away.

how else other that forcibly did you want the female teacher to put herself in the middle of an older child who sought out a younger child to beat up? With his mates no less. Heroically put herself in the middle would be a more appropriate word.

your child is a thug and you are a passive parent. Parent better.