WIBU if I complain about this teacher?

[Throwawaymama]

I need impartial advice in an awful situation.

my son (14) has got into a fight today at school. I am not happy about this obviously. Lots of stuff going on and I’m looking at getting him help.

There has been back and forth drama between him and another boy for the past few weeks, and today this other boy was being kept in isolation at lunch with his head of year (boy is year below so it’s a different HOY). I don’t know why but he was with her all afternoon.

my son has found out where he was and gone storming into the room with 3 of his friends (again this is NOT okay) and started to punch this boy.

here’s the bit I’m not happy with.

the head of year has forcibly got in the middle and told my son to get out - he did - but as he turned round again to say something to the other boy she has pushed him away from her and again screamed at him to get out. She’s not big or tall and she didn’t hurt him.

WIBU to complain about the teacher doing this? I thought they weren’t allowed to put hands on students?

throwaway for obvious reasons.

Your priority is your aggressive child. Forget about the teacher, who was trying her best to deal with the threat and did not hurt him. Focus on him and his future. Don’t get bogged down in irrelevant stuff.

Your son got a gang of 4 together to attack a younger child and you’re wondering why a teacher felt she had to physically intervene when it probably seemed to her like your son was coming back to have another go?

If I was the parent of the child they attacked I would probably phone the police so perhaps focus on the trouble your son will likely be in. You sound deranged.

I have taught for over 20 years in high schools. The behaviour of your son imo is on the extreme end of the scale. Instead of complaining about the teacher, focus your attention and energy on parenting your son, teaching him respect and anger management.

I reckon extra tech time, poor little darling has been triggered by the teacher I’m sure.

I strongly suspect your son is a liar.

Then may I suggest you teach your son about keeping his hands to himself.

Oh get over yourself. You weren’t there!!! She probably thought he was coming back to punch the other boy. He’s just done it once!!!! You’re completely trying to focus on something else. Your DS is likely to get expelled for this. Focus on bigger things than a teacher trying to protect a pupil.

You are entirely wrong to even be thinking of this. I hope you haven’t said anything at all about it to your son, he better not have heard “she shouldn’t have touched you, she shouldn’t have laid hands on you, we’ll make a complaint.”

She was alone in the room with the student she was responsible. Your son, a year older, came in with 3 friends and attacked this child. She had to protect him and herself. She, very bravely, got in between to protect that child and get your son out. Instead of leaving right away your son stayed there to mouth off to his mates and all she could see was the attacker still standing there, so she physically got him out of the room. Well done her. I’d be checking she was ok, and thanking her for getting your son out of that room before he did any further damage.

She protected a younger child from your violent thug of a son. Sort out your priorities. You need to come down on him, and not give him even a glimpse of a something he can complain about, like the teacher getting him away with whatever means she had.

I hope the police were called. Your son is a thug and a menace, and you are his enabler.

She’s not big or tall, and didn’t hurt him. And she was attempting to protect one teenage boy from three others? And you describe her actions as “now this is the bit I’m unhappy with”? Not your thug of a son storming into a room and assaulting someone?

Are you serious?

Your son is a thug! He's a vicious and violent child and put the others including the teacher in danger.

Instead of complaining about the teacher, you should be apologising to her.

I'm so sick of rubbish parents laying the blame elsewhere. Your son will soon end up in prison. So if I were you, I'd be putting into all my efforts into sorting him out instead of shitting on others.

If you continue not to focus on him taking responsibility for his violent, thuggish behaviour then I very much fear you will end up visiting your son in prison one day.

You originally said he walked away and then turned back to continue arguing…..

My son should not have done this.
it was absolutely unacceptable

however if she did it after he was walking away that is also not reasonable.

You should be sending this teacher an apology card. She is not a security guard. But here she is, having to behave like one. Your son’s behaviour is appalling (illegal actually. He assaulted this younger child).

You are ‘looking at getting him help’? From who? YOU should be helping him. Start by supporting the teacher who felt she had not option but to use reasonable force against him. Tell him he should BE ASHAMED.

Very soon hopefully.

If I were the other parent I'd be calling the police

No wonder teachers are leaving in droves. Focus on the actual problem here which is very clearly your son.

Do you think she’s not human? She was scared for Herself and the child That was assulted.

You said it was as he turned around to say something. She probably very reasonably thought he was coming back to continue his assault.

Perhaps focus on dealing with the thug in your home. That behaviour is wild and seriously concerning. Focus on the real issue.

Also, that teacher is a fucking hero. I would also be asking if she was ok and apologising profusely for your son’s behaviour.

Are you actually kidding? This has to be a wind up because actually no parent is this stupid!!

You're just going to keep doubling down, aren't you?

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/5a819959ed915d74e6233224/Use_of_reasonable_force_advice_Reviewed_July_2015.pdf

This post is the reason that every teacher I know wonders how long they can carry on dealing with the shit they have to put up with.

Your priorities are fucked. And you are wrong, teachers are allowed to touch children. They are not allowed to harm children, and this teacher did no harm. She prevented harm for someone else’s child and you should be thanking her.