This is a lesson to others. Slow down. Don't believe the lies about suicide. Don't end up with a child full of regrets and sold a lie with a butchered body and trauma.
"She was doing what she believed she had to do, clinging to the promise that this would bring me peace.
But it did not.
The dysphoria remained. The anxiety persisted. The sense of alienation in my own skin worsened. No one told us that “gender-affirming care” often does not resolve the underlying pain—it just gives it new contours.
The truth no one wanted to say out loud was that a traumatized, self-loathing child cannot be made whole by surgery. And while my mother celebrated alongside me, deep down, I think she knew something was still wrong.
It would be easy for me to blame her. And for a long time, I did. There were nights I lay awake, replaying conversations, remembering the appointments, the prescriptions, the hospital room where I woke up with my chest wrapped in bandages. I wanted to scream, “Why didn’t you protect me?”
But as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that my mother, too, was a victim of this system—a system that preys on parental love and fear, a system that frames unquestioning medicalization as the only compassionate response, a system that leaves no room for nuance, uncertainty, or alternatives.
We need to have honest conversations about that system—and about the parents trapped inside it.
Because here is the uncomfortable truth: loving, well-intentioned parents are being manipulated into consenting to irreversible interventions for their children—not because they are selfish, abusive, or craving validation, but because they have been told that the only alternative is death. The medical establishment, activist organizations, and even mainstream media have created a moral panic that weaponizes suicide statistics and reduces complex human struggles to a simplistic, binary choice.
And yet, when these children grow up and express regret—as more and more of us are doing—we often direct our fury at the parents. We shame them. We call them monsters. We demand to know how they could let this happen. But rarely do we stop to ask who else was in the room, who handed them the consent forms, who framed affirmation as a life-or-death necessity, who profited from it.
In recent years, we have finally begun to see cracks in the gender medicine establishment. Major health systems in the UK, Sweden, Finland, and elsewhere have paused or restricted medical transition for minors, citing a lack of long-term data and growing evidence of harm. Whistleblowers have come forward. Detransitioners like me have spoken out. The conversation is shifting—slowly, painfully—but shifting nonetheless.:
I wish more children and parents and professionals would read this.