Are parents of 'Trans' children aware of the damage of full affirmation?

[Iloverosesandcarnations]

All children go through a stage of who am I? Confusion etc.

Am I a boy, a girl, do I fit it etc.

The social contagion of affirmation of 'I'm in the wrong body, so need to change it' it IMO so damaging.

Talking through, understanding that all children go through 'who am I'
rather than initial blind affirmation and ok.lrts change your name, clothing etc tell school rush into changes young BEFORE maturation, is so dangerous.

You lot can spout your opinions all you like, and keep posting your endless links, and talking down to people daily.

It's still different for those of us who actually have to live day to day with a child who feels this way.

What do you think will happen, you post a link, or spout an opinion and we will magically find a way to make our kids OK again?

It's so easy to smugly sit there behind a keyboard telling folk what they should and shouldn't be doing about a situation you've only read about.

I haven't only read about it. I've experienced something similar.

People probably don't engage with you on the topic because you're not talking about your child. You're talking about your cousins child which is a fairly distant relative for most people.

I usually switch off when people start with the 'my distant relative' or 'someone I know' stuff, because its usually either made up to fit a narrative, or the person doesn't know the whole story and just choose the bits that they want to share. I imagine a lot of others are the same.

I listen to the people themselves who have been/are going through it, or siblings and parents. They are the ones who have most experience and most of the facts.

👍 sure.

But I don't think only people who have first hand experience of this should be allowed have an opinion on it. It affects society in general.

I took a long break from MN when I was in the worst of it with DC1. It's really not the place to be. I've mentioned it already, but Bayswater was my lifeline. It's way more complex than just speaking facts to your child or popping them into counselling. And it was a 0-100 with DC1

and you talk about people being patronising and judgemental?

I've done the same at points.

I'm, thankfully, not at the point where I need support anymore, my child is a happy and thriving adult now, but I remember those early days and all the smug "I would simply....." posts.

I hope your dc is doing OK now.

Yes, I do, I've made several posts along those lines on this thread actually.

I know, that's my point. I found your post to be quite patronising and judgemental!

I'm glad your DC is happy and thriving.

We're in a good place too, though it's still a MN no-no (Non-binary).
The first couple of years were horrendous and I completely agree on the "I' would simply" or "well sorry Biology is a fact" stuff. Thankfully those that truly live it offer actual support

Ok

Despite what's trotted out on here, I know quite a few non binary folk happily, and quietly, just living their lives.

I'm glad that you're through those confusing forst years, and that your dc is comfortable. Huge credit to you and them.

All any of us want are happy dc, and there's a massive lack of understanding that some of us don't have the usual path to helping our dc achieve that.

Sometimes being clearer on what not to do can help narrow down to a solution. Or having more voices backing what you know to be true but the activists trying to harm your child are vocal in the opposite side. Hence the success of AIBU.

It sounds like you are suffering - feel free to be hostile to me if it helps you feel better but don’t expect me to stand by and say nothing while children are being harmed.

And I do know kids that that have been harmed by this. Maybe you don’t realise how far reaching this is.

This has been my life for nearly 2 decades, I'm fully aware of how reaching it is.

I'm not suffering.

I'm hostile because you're patronising.

"Sometimes being clearer on what not to do can help narrow down to a solution" - honestly, listen to yourself. So smug.

Your child is in apparently in extreme mental distress but you are not suffering? Seriously??

My original post wasn’t directed at you. You might do well to remember that you are not the only person in this situation.

And I’m not smug, I’m horrified that the trans activists have generated the current level of suffering. Society and many individuals are going to feel the repercussions of this for generations. This is a public forum and people express opinions on public forums. I’m not sure what your hostility is aimed at achieving. You’re not going to change my opinion. I am not going to turn a blind eye to this harm. Why would you want me to?

My child isn't in any mental distress at all.

What an odd thing to assume.

I know I'm not the only person in this situation, I've spoken to hundreds, if not thousands of people over the years in the same boat as I am. I've taken the time to learn everything about my families situation, and the situations that thousands of other families as well over the course of 20 odd years.**

I don't just read things online, get myself wound up and then go spouting off to people actually in the situation.

Express away if it makes you feel important I guess, you're simply regurgitating the same old same old without any lived experience of the situation.

You've admitted you don't know what the solution is, so I don't know why you're still going on like you have any authority tbh.

I'm not trying to change your opinion and I don't care what you do tbh. I'm simply here because this thread is patronising and there are lots of parents like me on MN who need to see someone sticking up for them instead of the usual threads where everyone thinks a complicated situation is easy if you click your heels together and say "biology" 3 times.

What does 'sticking up for you' look like? Saying what? Going along with the whole thing and saying it's all great?

Aren't you embarrassed with the lazy assumptions?

There was me thinking this thread couldn't get more patronising.

Physican here 👋

Treatment does not begin for patients until they are much older. Where I work, we won't intervene unless there is long term clinical proof.

Say a patient is 18. Clinical notes re gender from early childhood, grand we will start there. There need to be long term proof.

A lot of you need education about transgender health. We don't just offer treatment to anyone.

I suppose it's always the people who are uneducated about a topic that fear it.

Your child is one of the lucky ones 🥰 you sound like a great parent and your kid will live a happy life 🥰

It is so true all you say. It is always the uneducated.

Like JK Rowling. She isn't trans. She isn't a doctor. Yet she thinks she understands all these medical issues. The people online who talk about topics they don't understand or aren't educated about. .. so many of them 🤣

I am an ED consultant. The amount of transgender patients we have had in the last few years suffering from MH and depression because their families wouldn't accept them.. heartbreaking. Who cares what gender you are. What is it to anyone else ??

Anyway good luck to you. A very look child indeed.

And yet the BMA - doctors / ‘educated’ / ‘specialists’ believe that a man can turn into a woman 😂

There is a lot of sense being stated on this and other threads and if some posters actually bothered to read it they would see discussion about how tough it is for both child and parent when so much of society/ NHS / charities / GPs / government - all the people who should support them and care for them instead push them down a path of damage to their body which can never be repaired - all in the name of following an impossible dream to do something that can never happen - change sex.

it is funny how the ‘most educated’ seem to believe the impossible / to not understand basic biology / to not see the abuse and safeguarding issues that are taking place!

yet these ‘educated’ come on to threads like this and make unsubstantiated claims and try and shut down the conversation because they know that their argument has no foundation.

there are thankfully many honest people who are deeply concerned about the social trend we have seen driven by an agenda which needs children and young people to be harmed to validate a distorted view of life. There is a reason why the stats on numbers of young people presenting with mental health issues around ‘trans’ have increased so dramatically so recently and in such profiled groups (eg autistic girls) - it is because of this agenda / because of the need by a few to validate their beliefs and claims that they can change sex… If you can’t see the huge child abuse and safeguarding scandal then thankfully some can - the issue is rarely starting when a parent first hears from the child - it has begun well before that, and that cultural issue is what needs to change.

presumably your medical degree and training will have told you that there are only two biological sexes, so presumably you and all your colleagues would never do any treatment contrary to that basic medical and biological fact? Presumably you would never mutilate a body in pursuit of a lie that someone can change sex when you as a doctor above all will know that to be impossible and that you would therefore only be deceiving the patient? ‘Do no harm’ and all that…

That means you presumably would only ever treat the mental health side of those who believe themselves to be trans - in which case why would you not do that pre 18 which is when it often presents and when that care and treatment is needed?

You are presumably also aware (as one of the ‘educated’) that across the country there seem to be many people who add to the mental health issues by affirming an impossible direction and lie, by accepting name changes and pronoun changes - there are even ‘educated’ professional doctors who are complicit in child abuse and safeguarding issues by providing hormones and even mutilating healthy bodies of the under 18s all in pursuit of the lie that you can change sex which can not happen / will never happen / has never happened.

It does seem remarkable that the ‘uneducated’ are the ones raising the alarm, caring enough for our generation of children to fight to ensure that they are not set off down paths which will never lead to fulfilment, but which will damage them irreparably.

besides I doubt you have the slightest clue as to how educated generally or specifically people on here might be - they are however at least talking sense and speaking from a place of truth

JKR does understand that sex is binary and immutable. That makes her a hell of a lot more educated on the subject than many.

And she has always been motivated by women's rights and need for single sex spaces. Which as a previous victim of domestic abuse she is (sadly) in a unique position to understand.

No. The girl I know went from first ‘realisation’ she was ‘trans’ to completing surgery in about 7 months. She was on Testosterone almost straightaway.