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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say going to bed really early is equal to bed rotting by getting up late ?

173 replies

RobertaBeckett · 18/05/2025 15:23

Dh starting to be to bed at 1030 even 10 doenst get up till just before 9

yet gets grumpy if you don’t get up before 9 ….

i say it’s equal

OP posts:
WishItWasAlwaysFriday · 18/05/2025 19:37

I think people need to specify whether "going to bwd" for them means chilling in bed fpr 2 hours or going to sleep. I get a fwling people here use it in both meanings.

So for example- going to bed just past midnight, sleeping just before 1, wake up 7:45.

Because otherwise it sounds like halfan MN needs 10 hpur sleep or so. 🙈

JHound · 18/05/2025 19:37

SundayFundayz · 18/05/2025 15:28

I am an early bird rather than a night owl but DH is the opposite. I have never understood why the two are seen in such a different light… we get the same amount of sleep!

Same. I am a night owl. I never got why waking and going to bed early was seen as productive but going to bed and waking late is seen as lazy.

postmanshere · 18/05/2025 19:39

We go to bed at 8pm. It’s 7.38pm
and we’re in our room getting ready. YABU… (yes it’s excessive but our kids are up at 6am and we like at least 8 hours, ideally more).

Caspianberg · 18/05/2025 19:44

10pm into bed, is about 10.30pm sleep after reading a bit.
waking several times with child
Up by 6am latest ( it’s been 5am the last week every day)

so that’s 7.5hrs at absolute best is zero wakings and up at 6am. Realistically that’s rare, so it’s more like 6.5hrs broken up with 2-3 wakings ( so more like 5.5hrs total). I don’t think I have slept 10hrs in one day in years

TheGrimSmile · 18/05/2025 19:45

I agree. I'll never understand why people get all sanctimonious abut getting up early (looking at you, DH) but then go to bed at 8.30pm. It's just as disruptive. It means I have to tiptoe round the bedroom at 10pm and I can't have a shower and dry my hair in the evening. It's a pain in the arse that he goes to bed so early. But he seems to think he's morally superior in some way because he gets up early.

ClareBlue · 18/05/2025 19:48

Who's in bed reading thiss. I'm on but not in😀

DancingDucks · 18/05/2025 19:48

I go to bed at 10 because I'm up for work at 5.45 am. I hope that's ok with you OP. 😂

Thepeopleversuswork · 18/05/2025 19:50

TheGrimSmile · 18/05/2025 19:45

I agree. I'll never understand why people get all sanctimonious abut getting up early (looking at you, DH) but then go to bed at 8.30pm. It's just as disruptive. It means I have to tiptoe round the bedroom at 10pm and I can't have a shower and dry my hair in the evening. It's a pain in the arse that he goes to bed so early. But he seems to think he's morally superior in some way because he gets up early.

Yeah going to bed at 8.30pm as a matter of routine is ridiculous, unless you wake up every day at 3am, have a chronic disease or a newborn. It massively disrupts everyone else's evening routine and it means you don't have any life with your family. No one needs that much sleep.

BruFord · 18/05/2025 19:54

@TheGrimSmile Yes, a few years ago we went on holiday with a couple without realizing that they go to be bed at 9 and get up v. early. It was irritating for all of us as even though we had our children with us, we would’ve liked to sit around and chat after the kids went to bed. But they were ready for bed at 9 and then bumping around in the kitchen at 6 a.m. We like abit of a lie-in on holiday!

We still get on but we haven’t been away together since ( and we’re never suggesting it)!

user1476613140 · 18/05/2025 20:04

Hillrunning · 18/05/2025 15:59

It really hurt to hear someone describe 10.30 as a really early bed time.

I know. I class 8.30 or 9pm as early🤣

ChocolateCinderToffee · 18/05/2025 20:05

I suffer from insomnia. When it's really bad, I am not going to sleep until 3.00 and then waking up at 7.00 then having a nap from 14.00 to 16.00.

I think going to bed at 22.00 is perfectly reasonable. Until I hit the menopause, it's what I did.

irregularegular · 18/05/2025 20:05

Doggymummar · 18/05/2025 17:05

I go to bed when sleepy and get up when I wake. Isn't that what most people do?

No. Most people get up when they need to for work, school run etc.

Maybe most people go to bed when they are sleepy, I'm not sure. But certainly some people will carry on working or doing chores even when they are tired, or continue watching tv even when they are dozing off on the sofa (guilty of that one sometimes !). Or just feel that for that there is something to be said for maintaining a regular bedtime, regardless of a bit of "sleepiness" that might just inertia/boredom.

Justsomethoughts23 · 18/05/2025 20:09

Crispyapple · 18/05/2025 15:36

I’m biased as I would rather go to bed early than lie in, but I wouldn’t say it’s equal in terms of productivity generally. Most people would be more likely to be productive in the morning - gym, walking, cleaning etc but in the evening be more likely to be sofa lolling, watching tv etc.
That’s how I justify my early nights anyway 😄

Don’t think that’s true - look at the post directly above yours

thebiggestmugoftea · 18/05/2025 20:10

Currently in bed at 20:09. Love it. Kids will wake me up at 6

user1476613140 · 18/05/2025 20:10

postmanshere · 18/05/2025 19:39

We go to bed at 8pm. It’s 7.38pm
and we’re in our room getting ready. YABU… (yes it’s excessive but our kids are up at 6am and we like at least 8 hours, ideally more).

Definitely agree with this big time. We had a 5.45 start this morning. Two kids with additional needs. Two teens also who stay up late! We go to bed early. Need to to stay well.

user1476613140 · 18/05/2025 20:12

thebiggestmugoftea · 18/05/2025 20:10

Currently in bed at 20:09. Love it. Kids will wake me up at 6

Again. This is logical thinking. Being in bed early is sensible when family members wake you up at stupid o'clock clock each day.

user1476613140 · 18/05/2025 20:14

BruFord · 18/05/2025 19:54

@TheGrimSmile Yes, a few years ago we went on holiday with a couple without realizing that they go to be bed at 9 and get up v. early. It was irritating for all of us as even though we had our children with us, we would’ve liked to sit around and chat after the kids went to bed. But they were ready for bed at 9 and then bumping around in the kitchen at 6 a.m. We like abit of a lie-in on holiday!

We still get on but we haven’t been away together since ( and we’re never suggesting it)!

That's basically me lol. DH not so much. He can stay up slightly later.

DrPrunesqualer · 18/05/2025 20:16

postmanshere · 18/05/2025 19:39

We go to bed at 8pm. It’s 7.38pm
and we’re in our room getting ready. YABU… (yes it’s excessive but our kids are up at 6am and we like at least 8 hours, ideally more).

So ten hours ……..lucky you 😉

Fizbosshoes · 18/05/2025 20:16

I'm interested how a few early birds have explained that they have very busy jobs....as if those who go to bed later are somehow slackers.
DH is self employed and sometimes does 12-14 hour days during really busy periods, he can't go to bed at 9 or 10pm because he's only just getting home then! I never work 12 hour days but I frequently do laundry , admin, banking, clearing up, ironing after 9pm

DustyLee123 · 18/05/2025 20:18

At my age I struggle to sleep past 6am, so I have to go around 10pm

tinyspiny · 18/05/2025 20:18

For those that go to bed at 8 what time do you have your dinner ?

FrodoBiggins · 18/05/2025 20:24

ClareBlue · 18/05/2025 19:48

Who's in bed reading thiss. I'm on but not in😀

Ha! It's still light outside! 🙈
I'm at the other end of the scale. Sitting at my desk, going to have dinner about 9 and then will do a bit of sorting out my clothes for storage, then back to work 11-2/3 probably when it's nice and quiet and noone will disturb me. Then watch a bit of tv and to to sleep. Having said that I got up at midday 😂

CoastalCalm · 18/05/2025 20:25

My husband goes to bed at 9 he likes to watch tv on bed for a while before sleep and we have separate bedrooms anyway - he’s up at 5.30 whereas I’m up about 8.30 as wfh.

Hankunamatata · 18/05/2025 20:25

10pm isn't early. Standard bedtime in our house

mickandrorty · 18/05/2025 20:25

latetothefisting · 18/05/2025 19:22

but just by using 'lazing in bed' you are inherently assuming your way is better.
You can have just said the same sentence without being perjorative.

I think you are 'lazing in bed' at 9pm - it's insane to me that adults who aren't ill/on night shifts go to bed that early -it's the tv watershed for a reason, because it's children's bedtime!

Show quote history

No I don't assume my way is better but since menopause i wake up for about an hour every 2 hours so get around 5-6 hours sleep at the most. Before that i did go to bed later but I'd still be up early because there's stuff to be done 🤷‍♀️ i was always told as a child not to laze/waste the day away guess it just stuck!