To say going to bed really early is equal to bed rotting by getting up late ?

[RobertaBeckett]

Dh starting to be to bed at 1030 even 10 doenst get up till just before 9

yet gets grumpy if you don’t get up before 9 ….

i say it’s equal

They wouldn’t. People who are night owls are more productive in the evening.

Same

I agree OP and from my own experience and from reading this thread it would seem that if you go to bed later and get up later then you are assumed to be less productive than than someone who gets up early and goes to bed early.
It's definitely not the case with me, I don't really have a sleep pattern as such, unless dictated by work, but that's always been shifts so not a 'normal' sleep pattern even then.
If I'm late shifts then I'm not home until 11-midnight, have things to sort, eat, wind down and I'm usually still wide awake for 2/3 hours so I get stuff done, quiet stuff obviously because although I live alone I have neighbours but I can iron, sort laundry, do home admin, online shopping etc and then I go to sleep around 3/3.30 and get up around 10.30/11am. I'm still getting 8 hours of sleep, do 'noisy' stuff when I get up before I go back to work.
If I'm earlies I'm up at 6.30 and do the essentials, then home by 5/6 and do everything then, and I'm normally back in bed by 10/10.30.

Amount of sleep is the same, stuff that gets done is the same, but somehow I'm considered a lazy slob if I'm in bed till 10.30/11am and far more virtuous if I'm up at 6.30 - if I did that after a late I'd be surviving on 3-4 hours sleep.

Nothing virtuous about that, and people tend to totally ignore that when they're in bed by 10 or earlier I'm still at work, or traveling home from work.

Sometimes I have to because I'm late onto early and I think because of the years of doing it I cope with it, but end up with a sleep 'debt', but it's something you have to manage with shifts. You catch up when you can, and if I've got a few hours in the afternoon on my day off to catch up, then lazy slob again.

It's a good job we have a mix of people in society that can function in both ways because some things can't just stop overnight and things need to be done during the day. Neither has more value than the other in reality, only in people's perception. Some people are just so wedded to their perception that anything else is wrong.
You can be just as unproductive being an early bird as being a night owl and vice versa.

I get into bed at 8pm 🤣

Yeah I think of bed rotting as being in bed all day or most of the day.. watching tv, scrolling on your phone even eating.
Must say I have done it a few times. More so when my mental health hasn't been so good or my back is playing up so it is painful to sit down for extended periods.

I prefer to go to bed later and get up later but I can't as I have to be up at 5 for work so I need to go to bed early to get enough sleep. It's 9 now and I'm about to go upstairs to read in bed before I sleep.

I think it depends on the family dynamics and what needs doing in the mornings, but no, I don’t think it’s any different really.
Sounds like your husband is getting a lot of sleep tho, perhaps too much? 10:30-9 is wayyyy too much and isn’t actually healthy. I’m with him on the bedtime front, I aim to sleep between 10-11pm as that apparently is the best time to sleep health wise and has been linked to reducing heart issues etc, but am up at 6:30 most mornings.

Thing is I've never met one who's actually productive in that time?
I've lived with, and known, several night owls. None did anything useful while up at night eg cooking, cleaning, sorting out bills.

They all watched tv/films, gamed, or relaxed. And basically loved that nobody else was up to pester them to be doing something 😂

A lot of people with jobs, kids, pets, are up before just before 9am most days.

So if you have the luxury of a life, retired, redone hours, because it sounds like you and H can effectively choose your hours of sleep then it should be what the individual wants surely you stay up later, he gets up earlier, does it matter?

Do you need to be up for a schedule? Are you rushing in the mornings?

So many possible variables.

Dh starting to be to bed at 1030 even 10 doenst get up till just before 9

Since when was going to be at 10:30 'early'?? He's fair getting his 40 winks but YABU just for that.

I am naturally an early bedder/early riser type. I've encountered plenty of eye-rolling and tutting over the years from the opposite type who accused me of being a 'party pooper' who needs to 'live a little', etc, etc.

I used to do my banking at night. And shopping. Then I got card blocked and accounts alerts etc because apparently it's weird tp order groceries and do transfers at 12:30 at night😔

Sorry but a lot of people with jobs kids etc are not only up just before 9!! Schools typically start between 8.30 and 8.45 so if your kids need to have had breakfast, washed and cleaned teeth, got dressed, packed a bag, and got to school on time? The family are not getting up at 8.55!!
Likewise anyone starting work at 9,come on people are not rolling out of bed at 8.55. Not if they are professionals anyway who would probably want to shower/wash, get dressed, tidy/style their hair, probably have a drink and/or some breakfast, and commute to work.
Anyone working in a standard 9-5, or with kids they have to get to school, realistically has to be getting up by 8, probably earlier!

Sort of says it all though doesnt it that it was flagged as such unusual behaviour by the bank.
If all the nights owls out there were busy sorting out bills, ordering the food shop etc at midnight, then it wouldn't flag as unusual would it!!

Which suggests night owls aren't busily getting a load of jobs done late at night 😂

Or maybe because morning birds made banking we all gave up on night banking after having to call in the morning anyway😂

but just by using 'lazing in bed' you are inherently assuming your way is better.
You can have just said the same sentence without being perjorative.

I think you are 'lazing in bed' at 9pm - it's insane to me that adults who aren't ill/on night shifts go to bed that early -it's the tv watershed for a reason, because it's children's bedtime!

That's exactly what I do! V productive late at night in a way I never would be in the morning

No. Most of us go to bed when we are sleepy and get rudely awoken before we are ready by the alarm clock and cling on to the duvet until the 5th snooze and you now HAVE to move.

Being an early riser sucks because by the time you’re home from work all you’re thinking about is bed. I’d assume night owls hate get out of bed- I’d kill to be in the middle. As someone wise above said 10 is not early and 8 is not late! Also as someone else said to me recently, it’s not like you fall asleep the second your head hits the pillow. Talk to your dh and tell him you can’t spend the rest of your life having to watch what time you go to bed: wake up at!!!

Bed at nine, up at six. Especially good in the winter time when you can watch the sunrise. I’ve got horses so I’ve got no choice really as they need fed.

But it could be seen that you are " lazing in bed" being their at 9pm.

9pm till 6am is 9!hours which is quite a lot of sleep

An early night for me is 11.30 pm but i am often at work until 10pm. Generally up at 7 or 7.30

No, it’s equally as disruptive for people who function better later on. I’d happily crack on with housework, doing dishes etc at 10pm, but I can’t to that as husband is in bed at 9. The difference is, when he is up at the crack of dawn (5am) he can make as much noise as he likes and it doesn’t bother me one bit.

10.30 is weekend bedtime for me.... I'm a TA in a very busy Reception year group and I'm in bed for 8.30 most nights 🤣 but I do get up at about 5.45 when I'm at work. I probably get up about 7 or 8 weekends. I'm not sure if it's partly due to my age but I feel like it gets harder to stay awake every night! I agree with others though, I don't think it's really bed rotting unless he's just lying there all day.

I don't think 10.30pm is particularly early. There are people who go to bed at 7pm or even 6pm which I think is nuts.

I am not a fan of people having gargantuan lie-ins: I think if you're older than your early 20s it's a bit self-indulgent unless you're ill or have been out really late: you waste the whole day and expect other people to inconvenience themselves in order to allow you to sleep. I think in a family environment its inexcusable to do it often as you're basically opting out of being a parent.

But I also think people who fetishise going to bed ludicrously early are a bit precious. Sleep is important and everyone should try to get enough but having 9 or 10 hours a night isn't a birthright.

I listened to a good radio show about this. Basically some of us have evolved to be on the early shift and some on the late shift so that there someone to guard the camp from predators/keep the fire stoked around the clock but for some reason all the early birds these days feel really smug about it and all the night owls feel guilty.

it’s just nature. Neither better or worse. I’m an early person but hate the early bird smugness, makes me almost wish I was on the late shift lol

I’ve never heard of the term bed rotting but I would assume if you’re asleep, you’re asleep and not bed rotting.
If you’re lying in bed a while having already woken up then if I had to use the term bed rotting that would be it.
When people go to bed and get up is entirely up to them and I don’t see early risers in any way more superior than late risers …..
( although the early morning bird song is fabulous )

I think the term bed rotting is quite horrible tbh